How to ruin any food: Yule log cake (bûche de Noël)

Tonight we’re going to ruin an iconic holiday treat, the yule log cake, or as it is technically known as, the bûche de Noël.

While everyone can like this desert, it takes a bit of work to ruin it to the point no one likes it takes some work.

Are you ready for an culinary adventure the likes of which most people have nightmares about?

Before we begin, once more I feel compelled to offer these words:

WARNING: DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU ENJOY GOOD FOOD.

The rest of this post in intended to be humorous and not to be taken as new culinary treats about to sweep the nation.Any attempt to ingest the substance described below is not suggested and should be avoided. If you do attempt to taste any of the following food related ideas, please be warned that disgust, nausea and possibly even death could be the result.

 

History:

The history of the yule log cake is an old one, one that the origins are hazy at best, which is normal for these posts of mine.

As the cake is a sponge cake, it dates about to around 1615 at least, as that’s when the first recipe for this kind of cake was published, which obviously means that it dates back at least a few years further.

In the nineteenth century it became popularized by bakers in Paris as they tried to out do one another.

The name bûche de Noël wasn’t generally linked to the cake until around the end of WWII from what I was able to find out.

 

What it is:

An yule log cake is a sponge cake that is rolled up after it is frosted, more frosting is spread on the outside of the cake. The outer frosting is typically grooved with a fork to resemble a tree truck.

A slice is commonly cut off and placed on the side as a discarded branch might be.

 

How to ruin it:

 

The trick to ruining this cake is to take a delicate hand to it. Therefore we will not be ruining the cake itself, save for one adjustment.

You will normally have the option to put lemon zest in the cake batter, we’ll replace that with a grated habanero.

The best and easiest place to ruin this cake is in the frosting.

Frosting:

There are several ways to ruin the frosting, you also have the option of ruining just the inner frosting, the outer frosting or both. I’ll give you ideas here for both the inner and outer frosting, it’s up to you which you want to ruin.

Inner frosting:

Instead of frosting, use mayonnaise.

Another option is a nice Hollandaise sauce that you thicken a bit more, you might want to refrigerate it to set it further.

If those don’t sound bad enough for you, try a cheese sauce.

If you want to go crazy, use a really thick salsa.

 

Outer frosting:

For the outer frosting you can once again use mayonnaise, but you might want to do something fancier to normal frosting, here are a few ideas:

Flavor your frosting with a can of root beer, it’ll add a bit of something to the frosting and be so unexpected that it’ll ruin your cake.

Add soy sauce to the frosting instead of milk, it’ll add a bit of saltiness to it, though certain people might like it, such as old salts or anyone who loves the sea.

Use plain cream cheese to frost your cake, no sugar or flavoring at all, it’ll be so bland that it’ll ruin it without trouble.

Use regular frosting, then top it with black pepper for that earthy look.

 

I hope that these ideas will help put some spice in ruining your desert during these holidays.

Please feel free to offer your own tips on how to ruin a yule log cake.

Thanks for reading, I hope you’ll join me again next week when we ruin another food.

Last minute gifts

Tonight in the last of my three gift posts, we’re looking at last minute gifts.
Everyone has at least once realized that they needed a last minute gift. I’m going to give you a few suggestions.

Thumb drives, everyone can always use a spare thumb drive. They are readily available, not too expensive and simple.

Screen cloths: everyone has at least one screen to clean, be it a smartphone, a tablet or even a laptop or TV. These are fairly easy to find and not too expensive.

Laser pointer: everyone has seen these, many people think that they don’t need one, but I very one will find a reason to play with one. These shouldn’t be too hard to find, though they do cost a bit more than my previous suggestions.

Flashlight: everyone needs a flashlight. While not a normal gift, some people will appreciate them, plus they are not too expensive.

A bag full of candy: while I mentioned candy in the first of my gift posts, it’s worth mentioning again. Almost everyone likes candy so it’s hard to wrong.

Comic books: many people fondly recall reading comic books as a kid, a comic book can bring back those memories and be a thoughtful, quick gift.

These are just a few ideas, with a little knowledge about the person you need a gift for, you should be able to think up many ideas like these.
Thanks for reading and good luck shopping!

More Christmas distractions

Since I wrote my post a week ago about games with a christmas theme, several more have suddenly released new versions with Christmas spirit.

TempleRun 2

Once again you can run as Santa Claus, this year you can also run as Mrs Claus.
I do enjoy TempleRun 2, and I recommend it to anyone who wants a quick distraction.

Rail Rush

Rail Rush is a game similar to TempleRun and Angry Gran Run, only you ride in a mine car.
There is a winter/Christmas world you can ride through, but that seems to be the only thing Christmasy in the game.
This is a fun game, but watch out for the falling candy canes.

Panda pop

This is just you normal bubble popping game, only at the end of each level the panda wears a Santa hat.
This isn’t a bad game, if you like bubble popping games it might be worth taking a look at.

These are the games I’ve tried over the past week with Christmas themes. I hope you can find a bit of fun with one of them.
Feel free to offer your opinions in the comments.
That’s for reading!

Jokes for December 17th

It’s another Wednesday, that means it’s time for another batch of jokes! I hope you’re ready for some laughs, some groans and some head scratching!

Whys

Why do actors love holidays?
Because every one has a ham for supper.

Why do potatoes make terrible chefs?
They make a hash out of anything they try to fry.

Hows

How do you tell if a cat has had enough catnip?
There’s none left.

How does a boxer know what to give his manager for Chrstmas?
He doesn’t, but he’ll take his best shot anyway.

How do you get a reindeer to fly?
You put hm on a cargo plane.

Whats

What gift should you never give to a Vampire?
A steak dinner.

What happens to deer in the rain?
They become riendeer.

What do you give the person who has everything?
Anything he hasn’t seen in a month.

That’s it for tonight, sorry I didn’t have more tonight. Next week I’ll have a few extra jokes if posible.
Thanks for reading!

My 400th post

Tonight I write my for hundredth post for my blog. It seems like only a few months ago I wrote my 200th post.

My blog keeps changing for the better. I keep experimenting and finding out what works the best, I thank you for sticking around and continuing to read my blog. Just because I’ve gotten 400 posts, I’m not going to change everything, though I won’t hesitate to try something new if it appeals to me.
While I could wax poetic about certain posts I’ve had, I could also point out several posts that weren’t the best, so I’ll ignore both the good and the bad.

I plan to keep posting as often as I can, hopefully in a few months I’ll have my 500th post published here.
That said, I might be taking a few nights off over the next few weekss, but rest assured that I’ll be back with more interesting posts.

I have some interesting ideas for future posts in the coming months, I hope you’ll enjoy them.

Thank you for reading and following my blog.

How to ruin any food: Eggnog

Tonight we’re going to do our best to take eggnog and ruin it. It is my goal to destroy eggnog once and for all, or make you laugh.

Yes, eggnog is our target for tonight, why? Because it’s in season right now, what better reason is there? Are you ready?

Before we begin, once more I feel compelled to offer these words:

WARNING: DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU ENJOY GOOD FOOD.

The rest of this post in intended to be humorous and not to be taken as new culinary treats about to sweep the nation.Any attempt to ingest the substance described below is not suggested and should be avoided. If you do attempt to taste any of the following food related ideas, please be warned that disgust, nausea and possibly even death could be the result.

 

History:

Eggnog has a long history, one that seemingly doesn’t have a beginning, though that simply means that the origin is lost to history, which seems to be something of a habit for these posts of mine.

The name is even lost to history, though a few theories exist. One theory is that the nog referred to a wooden mug called a noggin. Another theory is that it’s a corruption of Egg and Grog, either way it is now eggnog and the rest is lost to history.

What it is:

Eggnog is basically a drink of eggs, milk or cream, sugar and traditionally some kind of alcohol. Now many people buy eggnog which doesn’t have alcohol in it.

You’ll often see it topped with a sprinkling of cinnamon.

How to ruin it:

Ruining eggnog takes a bit of doing, however if you don’t like eggs you are all ready finished.

First off let’s look at the eggs, now I’m sure you’re wondering how I’m planning on ruining eggs, the truth is I’m not, I only suggest you check to see how many of those chocolate Easter eggs you have left, if you have enough, simply put them into a bowl with some heavy cream, whisk just enough to break the chocolate into pieces and serve.

Now assuming that you don’t have leftover chocolate eggs, we’ll look at other options:

Milk:

The milk can be changed slightly, try sweetened condensed milk, the different texture and extra sweetness may be enough to ruin it.

Another option is to use sour cream instead, that should create a nasty mixture.

Sugar:

While you can’t ruin sugar very much, substituting honey wouldn’t even change much, you can try using molasses or sorghum, the difference in color will help ruin it, as will the change in taste, the bitterness of the molasses should be enough to turn most people off of eggnog.

Cinnamon:

Here is the easiest place to ruin eggnog, whether you make it yourself or buy it. Here are a few spices you can use instead:

  • Cumin
  • Curry powder
  • Cayenne powder
  • Cracked black pepper
  • Celery seeds
  • Red or pink salt

  Other ways to ruin:

A few other thing you can do to ruin the eggnog are to add something to it, such as Tabasco sauce, Worcestershire sauce, soy sauce, cola, root beer or ginger ale.

 

That about does it for ruining eggnog, but I have one last surprise for you:

Eggnog for cats:

It’s a fact of life that cats are always going to be interested in what you’re making/drinking. So take a few minutes and make this eggnog for your cats, remember they shouldn’t have too much at any one time!

Eggs

Milk or cream

A dash of sugar

Catnip

Mix well and serve.

 

I hope you’ve enjoyed ruining eggnog and I hope you’ll join me again next week when we ruin something new!

Please feel free to leave any comments, I’d enjoy knowing how you’d ruin eggnog.

Thanks for reading!

Gifts for cats

Tonight I have the second of my three gift posts. Tonight I’m going to give you some suggestions on what your cat wants for Christmas.

Food

Cats are like people in that food is always welcome. You might consider a special fancy can of moist food, or premium dry food.
Favorite treats are also sure to please your cat.
Perhaps your cat would like a nice bowl full of catnip tea?
Speaking of catnip, you could always give your cat a tin of premium organic catnip as a gift too.

Toys

Most cats like to play, why not give them a new toy?
A ball to chase can provide hours of fun, as can a paper sack to jump in.
With the number of toys out there for cats, I’m sure you can find something your cats will enjoy.
Toys are also a way you can interact with your cat, so keep that in mind when you look at them.
I personally don’t recommend laser pointers for playing with a cat, I don’t think cats really enjoy them, though you might have one that find them irresistible..

Comfort

Comfort is something else that all cats love. A nice new bed can be a good gift for a cat.
A soft blanket or pillow are two other options as well, just make sure that they are soft, also a plain color rather than a pattern is likely more enjoyable for your cat as well.

I hope these ideas help you decide what your cat wants for christmas.
Thanks for reading.
Feel free to comment with any more ideas you might have.

Christmas distractions

Need a bit of a break from the stress of shopping? Need s bit of fun before you get back to baking cookies? I have the answer for you.
Every year many games release an update with a seasonal theme. I’m going to give my two cents worth on a few of them:

Hayday

Hayday once again has their winter/Christmas decorations out. While this is a game that requires a fair amount of time to play, it does manage to drag you in and keep your attention.
I heartily recommend this game to anyone who has the time to play it.

Angry Gran Run

Once again this endless running game has released a winter theme. This year it’s even better than last year with the addition of a secondary game within it, if you can find 100 candy canes this month you win the Santa Claus costume to run in.
This is another game I can whole heartedly recommend.

Xmas swipe

A simple connect the pictures game, you swipe your finger over an image, say a Christmas tree, the more you can connect the more points you get and the more time you have, you can connect them diagonally.
This isn’t a bad game, but it didn’t keep my attention very long.

Christmas sweeper 2

This game is a Christmas themed match three plus game, like many of the popular games out there.
If you like this kind of game you’ll enjoy this one, as long as you can put up with all the ads in it.

Winter slider
This game takes a slightly different approach to the typical connect game in that you move a whole row at a time. If you take too long on a move, it locks one tile, I’ve had it lock three or four at a time.
This isn’t a bad game, but it didn’t hold my attention too long.

Four pics one word

This game shows you four images that suggests a word. You get a bunch of letters to put together the word.
The daily challenge this month is Christmas related.
This game I recommend, it can be frustrating, but it makes you think.

I hope you’ll give a few of these games a try.
Do you have a favorite game with a winter theme? Is love to hear of it!
Thanks for reading!

Jokes for December 10th

It’s Wednesday night again and I’ve got some great new jokes for you, or at least some jokes I enjoy. I hope you enjoy these as well.

Joke

Long ago, a family named Hall went west to seek their fortune gold mining.
Everything went smoothly for them until December when they got into a gun fight with some claim jumpers. The claim jumpers were horrible shots and didn’t manage to hit any of the Halls before they ran out of ammo. The Halls weren’t any better shots, soon they were forced to duke it out. The claim jumpers won as they Decked the Halls.

How

How does a boxer finish his laundry?
He throws in the towel.

Whats

What do you call someone who is crazy about hot chocolate?
A coconut!

What kind of candy do accountants enjoy?
Fudge.

Whys

Why do carpenters always have the best decorated houses?
They are pros when it comes to decking.

Why should you never ask an actor to decorate your house?
They always take all the boughs.

Old favorites

Why do musicians make great chefs?
They know how to do a beat.

Why do mechanics cook the best omelets?
They know how to fix the beaters.

Which is safer to be near, a ripe avocado or a ripe strawberry?
A ripe avocado, strawberries are always getting into jams.

Thanks for reading, I hope you’ll join me again for next week for more fun jokes.

Weather as a cat sees it

Tonight I’m going to share with you the way cats look at the weather. To make it easier, I’ll give the human term for each weather condition after the cat view.

Warm and perfect for sleeping. We’d call this sunny.

End of the world, we’re all going to die. We’d call this rainy.

Confusing, warm and wet. We’d call this sunny with isolated showers.

Invasion by tiny cold aliens! We refer to this as snowy.

Perfect weather for flying! We’d say windy.

Mice are flying! We’d just shout Tornado!

Isn’t it still naptime? We call this cloudy.

The ground is covered in pebbles and they are cold! We call this hail.

That about covers everything a normal cat might think about the weather, unless your cat decides they like cold and wet, which they just might.

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this post.