Martian New Briefs

Somewhere on Mars:

“These are the system wide new briefs for tonight:

Earth once again takes precedence in our coverage, starting with the announcement that a nation on Earth is celebrating a new heir to their throne. The Emperor released this statement following the news:

We offer our respect to the nation of Briton, Earth. We also wish to make an alliance. If you will shoot down any new attack probes sent at our planet, we shall in turn send you a thousand troops to conquer the rest of your planet.

Our analyst has the official point of view on this statement:

The Emperor only made this offer as we have grown tired of hacking into the attack probes that land and forcing them to broadcast fake scenes. We have attempted to take a reading on Humans intelligence, however they have missed the invasion fleet hidden in most of the pictures we inserted into their probes. Only in a few pictures have they even spotted other signs of our civilization that we provided to entice them.

Now as to what this ‘birth’ means to humankind, according the palace’s chief cloner:

We don’t really know what this term ‘birth’ means, however in ancient tombs we have seen references to it. It seems that it refers to a primitive reproductive process. We no longer known exactly what it means as we have cloned the entire population on Mars for over ten thousand years. We are delving deeper into the matter, but we don’t expect anything to change as of now. Perhaps in a few thousand years we will have more information.

Other news coming up right after this break.”

 Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this!


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