Martian press release

The following is a press release from MNN (Martian News Network) for all Martians to hear and obey by writ of the King.


“Humans are getting ready to send yet another craft to our planet. While in the past there have been those who have been worried and wish to launch a preemptive strike again our neighboring planet, our scientists wish to assure the populace that there is no danger from the craft that will be heading to our planet in the coming months, Chief Scientist Goblata had this to say:”

“In the past we have worried about the human crafts that have attempted to land on our planet. We managed to shoot several of them down in the past, others we allowed to land where we wanted them to in our deserts where they could not detect anything of importance.

The flight path of this craft that will be heading our way in the coming months has been analyzed. If it does arrive in orbit of our planet, we have our top hackers ready to hack into it and send back the data we decide to send. We have done this with the past several probes that have landed and those that have orbited our planet.

We are several thousand years more advanced than our planetary neighbors and will not have any trouble disrupting their computer systems for the foreseeable future.”

“To recap, we will hack into the human computers and manipulate the data that they receive back from their craft. Calm is urged until our invasion fleet is ready to wipe out the human defenses and enslave them.

Thank you for taking the time to listen to this message from MNN!”


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