The following is a view of the world from a cat’s eye, I was given a slight bit of help from a certain black furred feline.
- If something is edible it is to be ignored until no one is looking, only then may it be eaten, unless I think otherwise.
- A treat is to be given when I want it and not when any human say I can have it.
- If I paw a bag, it’s fun when it rattles, if you rattle it, it might be going to kill me.
- If you set down an iPad, it’s free for me to sit or lay on.
- If a door is closed, I want to see behind it.
- If a door is closed partway and I want to get on the other side, you had better open it or I’ll claw your feet tonight.
- If a door is mostly closed that I want to get through, I’m going to die before it’s opened.
- If you don’t set down that iPad when I’m around, you don’t like me, I’m therefore justified in pouncing on your leg while you sleep.
- Keyboards are fun to walk on.
- You might enjoy watching TV, but I’m sure you’d much rather have my tail in your face.
- If I’m out in the rain that’s fine, but you dare to spill a single drop of water on me! I know you’re trying to drown me!
- If you set down your iPad, I’ll happily take a turn, you’ll be surprised how well I can use it.
- Computer mice aren’t fun to chase.
- If there’s a box in my way, I’ll go over it whenever possible… I could have beaten Sir Edmund Hillary to the top of Mount Everest, you know.
- I enjoy certain things until you think you know my patterns, then I’ll act like I never liked something and think you’re trying to poison me.
- You are nothing more than my slave, now feed me and scratch my chin.
- I enjoy watching TV myself, my tastes are varied, one day I’ll enjoy watch lions, the next WWII dogfight mesmerize me.
- I won’t play with that twenty-dollar toy you bought me, but that paper sack looks like fun!
- I like my cream poured, not stirred, and the names, Cat, James Cat.
- Anything I don’t like is your fault, now change it.
While I take credit for learning these things from my favorite cat, she’s still sweet. i meant nothing against her or any other cat.
I’ll also give you a rumor tonight:
A CIA leak will reveal that the NSA is using drones to spy on celebrities who they believe are linked to gun runners working an undercover sting set up by the FBI to ferret out whistle-blowers in the CIA working in Syria for regime change in Iraq with links to Napoleon Bonaparte.
Thanks for reading this! Feel free to comment!