The strange truth behind Christmas songs

Tonight I can either complain about the weather, or I can expose a strange conspiracy that I’ve just discovered. While the weather is horribly cold here in Denver and nasty across most of the country (if not the world), I figure that everyone has heard all that they want to about weather, thus I’ve chosen the conspiracy.

As I start listening to more Christmas music, I have suddenly realized that most (at least of the older) songs has hidden meanings, plus some have been linked to the wrong holiday. Think I’m crazy? Lets look closer.

First off, take this line “the weather outside is frightful” this song was obviously meant for Halloween, otherwise I’d assume that it would be something more like this: “The weather outside sounds like reindeer” or “The weather outside is jolly” or even “The weather outside is chilly.”  This song is not a Christmas song and I’ll challenge anyone to explain why it is.

 

Next off, let’s take the good old children’s song “Rudolf the red-nosed reindeer” The title says why it’s not either a Christmas song or a children’s song, but let’s dig a bit deeper, shall we? The line “Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer had a shiny nose” suggests that good old Rudolf is a drunk, why else would he have a red nose? I feel nearly certain that the rest of the line original had something to do with whiskey, brandy or vodka… unless it was all three. If you have another idea why he had a red nose and wasn’t a drunk, please enlighten me.

 

Now we come to one of the oddest songs of all. At first glance, it sounds like a good song, dealing with old St. Nick coming to town, but if you dig a little deeper into the meaning of the words, it becomes clear that it’s a song that was created by a time traveler who was desperate to warn us about the NSA.

What am I referring to? These lines: “He’s making a list…” “He knows when you’re sleeping, he know when you’re awake, he know when you’ve been bad or good…” The “he’ in the song is assumed to be Santa Claus, but what if it’s really someone in the NSA, FBI or CIA? That would explain the around the clock surveillance suggested in the song, I just hope that the “list” in the song doesn’t have anything to do with drone strikes.

 

Finally, we come to another song that may have been planted by another time traveler (or not). There is a song that goes “Let it snow” which is clearly linked to Global warming (which we could really you a big of here in Denver…) whether sent by deniers or other parties in the Global Warming debate, I’m not sure.

 

I hope you’ve enjoyed this post, thanks for reading. Feel free to comment below!

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