I’ve got some good jokes for you tonight, or at least jokes that I think are funny… If you don’t think they are funny I’d like to hear it, I promise I won’t ham it up, I’ll just go make myself a burger with pickles and avocados.
What did people call the wannabe actor who was fired from a peach preserve factory?
A canned ham!
John loved cucumbers until the day he woke up in a vat of salt and vinegar and exclaimed “I’m pickled!”
Jill loved squashes of all kinds until after she found herself trapped inside a gigantic cucumber, at which point she shouted “Help! I’m in a pickle!
A man walked into a truck stop and ordered a hamburger, ad an after thought he added “Hold the pickle.”
A few moments later, Harry, the truck stop’s harried short order chef who was very hairy, came marching out on the kitchen and thrust a dripping cucumber into the man’s hand, saying “Hold your own pickle!”
This next joke is for those of you who are worried about the potential shortage of avocados this summer:
Jack went to a taco joint south of the border for Lunch, after he had eaten he noticed a rabbi, a cardinal and a cleric making something together behind the counter, curious he asked the proprietor, Jose.
Jose opened his mouth to reply, but a ninja fell from the ceiling, pressed a dirk to Jose’s throat and asked what he wanted on his tombstone.
Being a person who always answered any questions asked him, and knowing that he had only one chance to speak before he died, he answered both questions at once by saying “Holy guacamole!”
Jose was astounded when the ninja laughed, handed him an avocado pizza and left peacefully.
I hope you’ve enjoyed these jokes, I know I got a chuckle out of writing them.
Thanks for reading, feel free to comment.