Tonight we’re going to attempt to destroy the great classic His Girl Friday. This is a difficult movie to destroy, mostly because newspapers are disappearing and also the fact that what newspapers are still around don’t do there own reporting on major news stories.
First off we’ll take a look at the plot:
Cary Grant plays the editor of a newspaper, his wife divorced him, but returned to the newspaper office to gloat that she was getting married again to someone with no connection to the newspaper industry.
However Cary Grant’s character has other plans, he involves his ex wife in a wacky adventure to get a convicted murderer a reprieve from his execution the next morning with the promise to buy insurance from the ex wife’s fiancé.
The murderer makes a daring escape during a final mental exam, touching off a wacky ending.
You can read a more detailed plot outline on Wikipedia here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/His_Girl_Friday
Now our first order of business it to update the title, a few simple tweaks should suffice, let’s try, His Gal Sunday.
Next the location, we’re obviously not going to use any city you’d expect, while we’re at it, let’s set it in space, if we put it on a space station orbiting Jupiter, we also get a reason that old fashioned journalism is around.
Now we’re ready to get started:
We’ll keep the ex wife angle, only we’ll make the fiancé a smuggler, to make it even more interesting, let’s make salsa illegal, it’s smuggled onto the station and sold for a thousand bucks a jar.
The editor of our newspaper agrees to buy a thousand jars if his ex wife will do one last story, a story on the only survivor of a starship that he was accused of destroying, he admits guilt, only our editor believes he’s innocent, a victim of mental unease.
The ex wife convinces the convict that it was his addiction to salsa that caused the disaster.
The convict escapes, using the commodores ray gun to blast his way to freedom, the commodore denies that it was his ray gun.
Chaos should ensue, shootouts that get no where, then the convict is discovered hiding in his own cell.
Now we come to the end of the movie, I don’t have a good ending… Other than the original one, so we’ll just do what any good director would do, we’ll ensure that special effects can be used to an extreme unheard of before, imagine this:
During the final show down, a meteor storm hits the station, explosions wrack the station as they impact, then the nuclear reactor is compromised.
Alarms blare, red lights flash, fires breach out everywhere, people run fleeing through corridors that are engulfed in flames.
Even as the explosions and fires rage, the stand off continues, the foolish commodore declares that he’ll kill the convict if it’s the last thing he does, those are of course the commodore’s last words, he’s hit by a meteor right after he utters those words.
The station breach apart in a gigantic explosion and the screen goes black.
I think that we managed to ruin a great movie tonight, I hope you enjoyed the ride! Feel free to comment if you’d like.