I’ve got several jokes for you tonight, I just hope you don’t think I’m a nut.
Did you hear about the nut factory in the war zone?
It got shelled.
What happened when the salad saw the peanut dressing?
It was shell shocked!
Three nuts run into a bar in Nevada, they were arrested on suspicion of running a shell game.
Did you hear about the banana that juggled chainsaws?
It didn’t last too long, the banana split.
Did you see the fight between the dairy products?
It was brutal, the cream got whiped, the butter was creamed, the milk was spilled and the cheese melted.
Why is a hockey game like Shakespeare’s play ‘A Midsummers Night Dream’?
They both have a Puck.
Why do baseball pitchers like precipitating in work stoppages?
The more strikes they throw the better they are.
There’s been a big breakthrough in genetic engineering: bread has been bred.
What do fashionable bananas like to wear?
I hope you’ve enjoyed these jokes, feel free to comment.