Random thoughts for May 26th

If modern movies were realistic, everyone would have be prepared to fight aliens, zombies, terrorists, invading armies or spies every day of the week, including weekends.
Furthermore, anyone could find themselves flying halfway across the world to save civilization at a moments notice.
We would all be able to find weapons within arms reach at the drop of a hat, we’d know how to use those weapons too, otherwise we wouldn’t survive to save the day.
No one would be surprised at data breaches, we’d all know how to do that in our sleep, we’d also be able to track down identity thieves with a few keystrokes… Which in turn leads us to a deadly showdown as the victims of the identity thieves would somehow acquire enough weapons for an army before going in and wiping out the data thieves and regain their identities.

On the other side of the coin, if commercials were realistic at the same time, while we were trying to defeat a deadly virus, we would become distraught at the drop of a lid.
We’d be incapacitated by allergies, unable to do anything until we received drugs promising to relieve symptoms… With only light side affects that mirror allergies or kill you.

I have a feeling that drug commercials are geared for people who live Hollywood movie life, with that in mind, I give you a week schedule based on drug commercials and Hollywood movies, starting on Monday:

Monday: Head to gym. Flee to the hills as enemy army invades. Form militia to drive invaders out, retake country in time for supper.
Tuesdays: see doctor about stress, get prescription for drug with side affects including stress and death. Join leaders of free world in Brazil for peace conference.
Tuesday Night: barely escape peace conference with your life, effect rescue of leaders of free world and bring evildoers to justice.
Wednesday: See local doctor about hair loss, get haircut. Mastodon found in Chile, proceed there as nearest expert. Fight virus released by mastodon.
Thursday: Return home, see doctor about migraine, receive prescription for drug that causes insomnia. Travel to ghost town, encounter Zombies in field, gather posse to wipe them out.
Friday: See doctor about allergies, get prescription for medication, side affects include headaches and sore throats, rarely death. Capture terrorists as they are about to blowup the Empire State Building.
Saturday/Sunday: Relax while fighting off an alien invasion. Schedule doctor appointment for Monday as you are suffering insomnia.

Thanks for reading, I hope you’ve gotten a laugh or two!

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