Jokes for May 28th

Thanks for joining me again on this fine Wednesday evening, I’ve been trying to come up with some funny jokes for you tonight, whether or not I’ve succeeded or not is for you to judge.

A potato walks into a bar and orders vodka.
The barkeep refused, saying “Sorry, we don’t serve cannibals.”

An undead potato rises from its grave, the victim of a vampire, the first thing it did was to find another potato and say “I want to drink your vodka!”

Dr van Helsing was addressing a group of sport fans, he gave them this sage piece of advice: “It’s best to watch baseball games during the day, that way you know that any bats you see flying aren’t vampires.”

What is both a fruit, a sport and anything soft you drop?
A squash.

If you throw a book at someone, can you say you booked them?

If you have a famous friend who collects tea cups and shot glasses, you could say he’s got a mug/shot.

Now for a cherished classic joke:

Long ago there was a cowboy called Slim, in addition to riding herd, he worked at maintaining the telegraph line as an electrician . Eventually Slim retired and went east to visit his cousin in New York.
Slim was warmly received until his cousin asked him why he left the west and Slim replied ” I’m delightfully deranged.”

I know there are fewer jokes tonight, I know they aren’t the best jokes either, but I hope you got a chuckle out of them.
Thanks for reading!

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