How to ruin any meal: Tacos

Tonight we’re once again looking at how to ruin any meal, I’m referring to cooking any meal, what you do after cooking it to either enjoy or ruin it is entirely up to you.
Tonight we have Tacos in our sights, we’re going to keep firing our recipes at it until we completely ruin it… or we come up with a new recipe that will make me millions over night, not that I’d ever consider exploiting a recipe I created for my blog.

Before we begin, once more I feel compelled to offer these words:

WARNING: DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU ENJOY GOOD FOOD.

The rest of this post in intended to be humorous and not to be taken as new culinary treats about to sweep the nation.Any attempt to ingest the substance described below is not suggested and should be avoided. If you do attempt to taste any of the following food related ideas, please be warned that disgust, nausea and possibly even death could be the result.

 

Before we begin to wreck ruin on the humble taco, let’s take a quick look at it; what is it, what’s know about its history and why we love them.

The word ‘Taco’ is Spanish in origin, from what I can learn it means ‘plug’ or ‘wad’, which might mean that some one some time long in the past wanted to shut some one up and ‘plugged’ their mouth with a taco, but I’m just guessing here.

A taco, as you most likely already know, is at its most basic a filling inside a folded tortilla, or inside a taco shell, which is not much more than a corn tortilla that’s been baked or fired into its shape.

As for why everyone loves tacos… what’s not to like? You can do nearly anything to them and they still taste good, they are semi-portable and all around a good meal in and of themselves.

 

Now on to the ruination!

 

There are as many types of fillings as you can imagine for a taco, also you can have soft tacos or hard tacos, normally there is also cheese, sour cream, lettuce and salsa or hot sauce put on top. It is the toppings that we’ll have the easiest time ruining, so we’ll save those for later.

First we should look at the shell: There isn’t much you can do to a taco shell while keeping it semi normal in appearance, however one thing you can do is to take a sweet bread dough, roll it thin and bake it over a form to imitate a taco shell, the sweet flavor will detract from the rest of the taco, as will the fluffiness of the bread once it’s baked. You could also use a pizza crust dough instead.

Unfortunately these ideas will only detract from the deliciousness of tacos and not completely ruin them.

 

On to the filling!

 

While anything can be used for filling tacos, ruining it can be done in the seasoning of the filling, a few ideas:

Ground meat is popular, season it:

As you’d season Borscht (don’t forget the egg in it!)*.

Like spaghetti.

 

Shredded meats are also popular, season them:

With rutabagas.

Mustard and olive oil.

 

On to toppings!

 

By far the easiest way to ruin tacos, anything goes here! You can have fun, but here are a few suggestions:

 

Chunky spaghetti sauce instead of salsa, makes it a fusion food and always ruins it.

Serve ice cream instead of sour cream, the added sweetness will ruin it.

Sweet and sour sauce instead of hot sauce, no two cuisines could go together worse.

Chocolate syrup… in a savory dish, enough said.

Slice okra instead of fresh jalapenos, this will confuse your guests so much that it will ruin the meal.

Chopped cabbage instead of lettuce, it might look similar, but the flavor is completely different.

Pesto instead of guacamole, they are both green, but they don’t share much else in common.

 

There you go, that’s how you ruin tacos. I hope you’ve enjoyed ruining tacos with me tonight and I hope you’ll be looking forward to next week, where we’ll ruin some other meal. I hope you’ve enjoyed our journey tonight, I know I’ve had fun.

Join me again next week when we see how to ruin another meal or part of a meal!

 

*If you don’t get the joke this will explain it: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0035417/reviews

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One thought on “How to ruin any meal: Tacos

  1. Pingback: Ruining food: A look back – Mageowl's Blog

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