Jokes for June 4th

Thanks for joining me this fine Wednesday evening. I’ve got several new jokes for you tonight, plus a new feature at the end of the post! I hope you enjoy these jokes, I think they’re berry good tonight.

Two melons had fallen in love and we’re planning on running away to get married, before they did, they decided to confide In their friend, a walnut.

After hearing their plans, the walnut burst out laughing as he said “You crack me up, you two cantaloupe.”

Why do musicians make great chefs?

They know how to do a beat.

Why do auto mechanics cook the best omelets?

They know how to fix the beaters.

Which is safer to be near, a ripe avocado or a ripe strawberry?

A ripe avocado, strawberries are always getting into jams.

Did you hear about the scandal involving the carrot, tomatoes and beets that resulted in them being banned from professional sports for life? Turns out they were juiced.

Did you hear about tavern thief who was caught red handed? He refused a lawyer, it seems that he had taken the bar.

Jim and Henry were attempting to sail across the Atlantic Ocean in a yacht that they built. Unfortunately the yacht sank six miles off shore, luckily both Jim and Henry managed to get into the inflatable life raft. Picking up the two oars, Jim turned to Henry and asked “This oar that?”

The outdoor ballet company found itself performing in bad weather, not to be stopped, they pushed ahead and put on a rain dance.

Tonight’s failed joke:

The chef was a feared interrogator at the fruit prison, he knew how to put the squeeze on.

Finish these jokes:

Here’s the new feature I promised you, I start the joke, you finish it! The funniest conclusion to each of these jokes will be included next Wednesday in this section, so get your funny bone warmed up!

A garbanzo bean rides a pinto into a bar…

A buccaneer, a rabbit and a politician walk into a Chinese resturant…

What does a pirate think about cabbage?

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed these joke. I’m looking forward to seeing how you finish these jokes, remember to read next weeks joke post to see what punch lines were summited!


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