How to destroy a classic movie: Stagecoach

It’s Friday night, time to rewrite another classic movie!
Tonight we’re going to redo Stagecoach, it’s been remade once before, but not the way we’re doing it!
Let’s have some fun!

The plot:

For the most part, Stagecoach is a typical western, it has an outlaw, a sheriff, Indians on the war path and gun fights and of course the namesake stagecoach.
In addition there is a whiskey seller and an embezzling banker and others.

Our movie:

For a change we won’t change either the name or setting (it’s still in the old west anyway) of the movie. We’ll set it shortly after the civil war.
An odd assortment of people board a stagecoach, heading to Dodge city for various reasons.
Fifty miles from nowhere, the stagecoach is held up by the James gang, with little or no gunfire. The James gang takes off, heading in the same direction that the stagecoach was heading.
A little while later, at high noon, the stage comes to a river and stops to water the horses. Suddenly the stage is attacked by Indians, but not just any Indians, zombie Indians!
But wait, after a bloody gunfight where the stagecoach’s driver and passengers barely manage to fight off the zombies, they suddenly realize that they aren’t who they should be, they are carrying lasers instead of colt revolvers and rifles.
They struggle to piece together their real lives, flashbacks can be used here to great advantage, each one of the passengers is actually for the dis taint future, a future where zombies have overrun everything, these few are the last humans, they managed to trace the zombie bacterium to a ranch near Dodge city a few years after the civil war, it had been harmless until it mutated somehow. They decided to go back through time to eradicate the original bacterium in Doge city.
However a few zombies somehow managed to follow them back through time and start spreading the plague that destroyed humanity in the past.
Next the James gang reappears, only this time they are zombies as well! Custer appears with his troops and saves the day. He learns what’s happening and promptly declares that he’ll wipe them out… After he’s done with Little Bighorn, that is.
What happens next is either a bloody battle against the zombies with riffles, or a long discussion about time paradoxes… Followed by an ingenious solution to the newest zombie attacks.
Either way, the zombies are destroyed, the plague is eradicated and humanity is safe once more… Unless they missed a sample of the bacterium, that is.
The heroes from the future ride towards the horizon and the movie is over.

So what do you think? With how zombie movies are in vogue right now, it should be a blockbuster.

Thanks for reading and please feel free to share your thoughts.


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