How to ruin any food: Ice Cream sandwiches

Tonight we’re looking at ice cream sandwiches and how to ruin them. This is strictly ice cream sandwiches tonight, not sundaes or floats or cones… those are going to be looked at in future posts.

Before we begin, I want to offer these normal words of warning:



The rest of this post is designed to be humorous and is not intended to be taken seriously. Any attempt to ingest the substance described in the following paragraphs is not suggested and should be avoided. You’ve been warned.


History tonight’s food:


The humble ice cream sandwich, an icon of summer, is something nearly everyone has had, but oddly enough little information is available in regards to its origin.

The most quoted idea is that it was invented in New York around 1900 or slightly before. A search will turn up several pages all quoting the New York Tribune article about ice cream sandwiches, which seems to be all the information we have to date about the early days of ice cream sandwiches.

The article notes that the first ice cream sandwiches were made to order in a tin mold and cost 1¢.

What’s almost as interesting is the Wikipedia page that lists variations of ice cream sandwiches across the world. I don’t have the time to mention all of the variations, so I’ll just refer you to the Wikipedia page: which is worth a quick read.


What it is:


An ice cream sandwich is simply a slab of ice cream between two cookies.


Ways to ruin it:

At first glance you might think that it would be hard to ruin an ice cream sandwich, but with just a bit of ingenuity it’s not hard at all.

Here are a few ways to begin:


Use whole wheat bread.

Use white bread.

Use rye bread.


Now that we have the simplest ways listed, let’s get a bit more creative.


Make an open face sandwich by leaving off the top cookie.

With the ice cream staring you in the face, cover it thickly in chocolate syrup so you can’t pick it up, which ruins it.


If you want to keep both cookies on it, consider adding something between the cookie and the ice cream, such as:



Ketchup (sweet of course)




Now let’s explore a few not quite so harsh ways to ruin  an ice cream sandwich.


Use raisin cookies and tell everyone that it’s chocolate chip.


Put the ice cream between gram crackers and frost the outside, this will still taste good, but will be at least twice as messy.


Make a Neapolitan ice cream sandwich with unique flavors: Tomato in replace of the Strawberry, Oyster sauce for the Chocolate and Vodka instead of Vanilla.


Odd ideas:


Take two slices of toast, put a piece of lettuce on one, a slice of tomato ice cream, bacon and cover with the second piece of toast, now you have an ice cream BLT sandwich.


Use whole wheat bread and put one scoop of each of the following ice creams inside: Bacon, Coleslaw, tomato. Now you have a lunch time ice cream sandwich.


I hope you’ve enjoyed this post, I enjoyed writing it. I hope that you won’t try any of these, though I think all the flavors I have listed could be created with a little work.

I hope you’ll join me again next week, when another unsuspecting food will face ruination.

Thanks for reading and feel free to comment.

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