How to ruin any food: Ice cream sundaes

Tonight we’re looking at ice cream sundaes and how to ruin them. This is strictly ice cream sundaes tonight, not floats or cones… those are going to be looked at in future posts.

Before we begin, I want to offer these normal words of warning:

 

WARNING: DO NOW READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU ENJOY FOOD!

The rest of this post is designed to be humorous and is not intended to be taken seriously. Any attempt to ingest the substance described in the following paragraphs is not suggested and should be avoided. You’ve been warned.

 

History of tonight’s food:

 

The origins of ice cream sundaes are almost as confusing as most of the foods I’ve looked at over the past few months. Several cities claim it as their own, each one with stories that seem plausible.

Evanston, Illinois,  Two Rivers, Wisconsin, Ithaca, New York are the most often cited cities that claim the honor of the Ice cream Sundae, though Plainfield, Illinois also has its supporters. The dates listed as the probable year of invention range from 1880 to 1899.

 

What it is:

 

A sundae normally contains vanilla ice cream with syrup, whipped cream and a cherry on top.

 

Ways to ruin it:

 

At first glance you might think that it would be hard to ruin an ice cream sundae, but with just a bit of ingenuity it’s not hard at all.

Here are a few ways to begin:

 

Serve it on a Monday and call it an Ice cream Mondae.

Serve it on Tuesday and call it a Tuesdae.

Serve it on Wednesday and call it a Wednesdae.

Serve it on Thursday and call it a Thursdae.

Serve it on Friday and call it a Fridae.

Serve it on Saturday day and call it a Saturdae.

 

Now let’s get serious and really start ruining ice cream sundaes!

 

    Full replacements:

 

Replace  the vanilla ice cream with avocado ice cream, cover in hot sauce and serve a mango on top.

 

Use tomato ice cream, spaghetti sauce and a meatball replaces the cherry.

 

      Change one ingredient:

 

Ice cream:

 

Bacon

Cabbage

Mango

Tomato

Avocado

Walnut

Turkey gravy

Jalapeno

 

 

Sauces:

 

Hot sauce

Mustard

Horseradish

Worcestershire

Pickle relish

Ketchup

Vodka

Spaghetti

 

Cherry replacements:

 

Mango

Tomato

Potato

Brussels sprout

Radish

Turnip

Parsnip

Any mushroom that’s safe to eat

 

Take one or more of the above items and make your sundae normally, I promise you that it’s ruined. No one is going to enjoy any of these ice cream sundaes.

 

However I have one sundae that any cat will enjoy:

 

Vanilla ice cream, sprinkle with catnip and place an anchovy on top. Any cat would love this sundae.

 

I hope you’ve enjoyed this post, I enjoyed writing it. I hope that you won’t try any of these, though I think all the flavors I have listed could be created with a little work.

I hope you’ll join me again next week, when another unsuspecting food will face ruination.

Thanks for reading and feel free to comment.

 

 

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