How to destroy a classic movie: Creature from the Black Lagoon

It’s Friday night again and we’re going to have some fun redoing a classic movie again.
Tonight I’ve chosen Creature from the Black Lagoon to rewrite. While it’s a great movie, I think we can make it a blockbuster flop tonight.

The plot

As you most likely already now, the plot of the original movie is a half-man, half-fish creature that is found somewhere up the Amazon… and not the website either.
An archeologist/professor finds a fossilized hand of the creature, sends details back and gets an expedition sent to search for the rest of the skeleton, however a living creature has found the group the arcologist/professor left behind to keep an eye on the fossil and killed them.
The expedition is trapped when the creature builds a dam behind their boat and starts to attack the scientists while he waits to kidnap the single woman aboard.

Our movie

Our first task is to change the name, while the original tile is a fine title, we’re going to add a bit of humor to our movie.
Our new title: Creature from the Black Legume.

A tomb is discovered in an uncharted part of the Amazon, a team of specialists are airlifted in to explore the tomb. After unsealing the tomb, the specialists are stunned to find that the only thing the tomb contains is a single black bean.
One year later, in a green house in North Dakota (or wherever you want to set it), a scientist has received the black legume and has planted it.
That night there is a lighting storm that hits the greenhouse, awakening the bean, or rather the creature inside it.
When the scientist arrives the next morning, the greenhouse is in ruins, only the single legume is unharmed, but it’s grown quite large, the scientist soon realizes that the legume is feeding of the other plant, unfortunately he doesn’t realize that it’s also feeding on anything that it can until his assistant is killed by the plant.
A special team of mercenaries is sent in to destroy the legume, but before they can, an alien invasion begins.
The aliens are too tough for humans to defeat and our only hope is to convince the aliens to attack the legume and hope they destroy each other.
Little do the scientists and generals know that the legume is actually an alien being who was trapped on Earth millennia ago and the aliens are there to rescue it.
Th black legume enters the alien ship and departs, leaving behind no sign of it’s existence… except for a single strand of DNA a scientist finds an begins to grow a new legume.
The End

I hope you’ve enjoyed this remake, I know I’ve had fun writing it.
Feel free to comment on this or suggest a movie for next week.
Thanks for reading.


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