Jokes for July 23rd

Thanks for joining me on this fine Wednesday night, I’ve got a few new joke and a few old jokes. I hope you enjoy.

What kind of music do cats like?
String music.

What happens if a cat gets into a vat of butter while being chased by a dog?
It gives the dog the slip.

A billionaire was traveling with his dog, an official stopped him and demanded to know if his dog had papers, the billionaire replied “Papers? Who has papers these days? I’ll have you know my dog owns three news channels!”

It was the fight of the century, triple layer chocolate cake vs Gelato. They were evenly match through the first five rounds, in the sixth round it looked like the cake had finally found Gelato’s weakness, but Gelato fought bravely on. In the seventh round Gelato managed win win the match on a TKO. When asked later how it had won, it replied “Ice creamed it.”

A chicken was the only survivor of a shipwreck, it finally makes it to an island. Deciding to search the isle for signs of life, the chicken walked from one end of the isle to the other and back again. When it returned to where it started it hadn’t found a single sign of life, but suddenly a native leaped out of the bushes and exclaimed in perfect English “Here’s the double crosser!”

An amazed traveler visited a zoo with a large storeroom of musical insterments. When he asked who played them, the zoo keeper explained that the animals played them. “The reptiles are only good at playing scales, elephants love the trumpets… The Avians aren’t that good, their playing is for birds, but the cats play most of the rest pretty good.”
The amazed traveler asked how the cats were better, to which the zoo keeper said, “All cats love any kind of strings.”

Thanks for reading, I hope you’ve enjoyed these jokes!
I’ll try to make next weeks all new jokes.


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