Jokes for July 30th

Thanks for joining me again this Wednesday evening. I’ve got a few jokes for you tonight, they might not be great jokes, but it think you’ll get a few chuckles from them.

what do…

What do you eat to lose weight on a beach?
Sea food (See food).

What do you get if a feline is offered food it doesn’t like?
A new can of food… Quickly!

What do you see in the middle of the sea?

What does a lion and a cactus have in common?
You don’t want to cross either one of them.

What do you call an old teak carving of Anne Boleyn?
An Anne-teak

Tonight’s odd joke

A dishonest politician decided he would do anything to get elected. He tried everything to raise his rating, finally he decided to risk everything and called a press conference in the fair grounds.
When the reporters arrived they saw the politician racing down the track, suddenly they saw that he was trying to pole vault. The politician smoothly sailed into the air, but instead of landing safely, he became tangled end in the pole. The headlines noted that the politician had vaulted to the top of the pole.

Finish the jokes

It’s back, my favorite feature of my joke post! It’s your turn to finish these jokes.Get your funny bone warmed up and get busy!

Why did the chicken buy a horse?

A bishop, a knight and a king climbed onto a pirate ship captained by Blue Beard himself. Blue Beard took one look at them and…

Cat jokes

What do you get if a cat bites you?

Cat nip!

Why did the cat cross the road?

To catch a chicken.

What does a cat call a shoe lace?

A toy.

A failed joke

Which president did a lot of laundry?

George Washington.

Thanks for reading, I hope you laughed at one of these jokes tonight.
Please let me know which jokes you prefered, I’m always interested in making my jokes better. I you hated a certain joke I’d be interested in knowing why as well.
Thanks again! I’ll have a new batch of jokes next Wendesday.


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