Jokes for August 13th

It’s Wednesday again, time for more joke! I’m not sure if you’ll enjoy these jokes, but I have high hopes.
Tonight I’m going to try something new, I’m going to write a joke in different ways, I want you to tell me in the comments which one you enjoy.

Why do…

Why do baseball teams refuse to hire gardeners to pull weeds?
Because they want more rooting.

Why do pirates sleep poorly?
Because they drink grog.

How do…

How do you tell if a pirate drank watered rum?
He’s groggy.

How do you know if a parrot once belonged to a pirate?
It’s not easy, but an eye patch and cutlas are two good clues.


In deep space there is a planet inhabited by a race of people made entirely out of gold. They also are incredibly rude. They are known as the cold gold golems.

A cowboy was traveling through Europe, he kept looking around for some place to buy supplies, finally, annoyed beyond belief, he stopped a politician.
‘This here is Europe, right?’ The cowboy asked, when the politician nodded, he asked ‘then where is all this rope eur using?’

Joe and jane were enjoying a picnic one day. Joe turned to Jane and asked “How do you like the maize?”
“It’s a bit corny,” she replied.

Which is better?

Did you hear about the king of a land of measuring devices? He likes being called the Ruler of the rulers.

What do you call the king of a land that is composed of measuring devices?
The Ruler of the rulers.

Who rules in the land of measuring sticks?
The Ruler of the rulers.

Two cat jokes

What is a cat’s favorite play?
A midsummer’s night dream feast.

How can you tell if a cat has eaten his fill?
Is there food left? If so, he’s still hungry.

That’s it for tonight, I hope you’ve enjoyed these jokes and this post. I enjoyed writing it.
Please remember to comment about which version of the ruler joke you like best.


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