How to ruin any food: Coleslaw

Tonight we’re looking at coleslaw and how to ruin it. Love it or hate it, everyone has tasted coleslaw at least once in their lives. Tonight we’re looking at how to ruin it.

Before we begin, I want to offer these normal words of warning:

WARNING: DO NOW READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU ENJOY FOOD!

The rest of this post is designed to be humorous and is not intended to be taken seriously. Any attempt to ingest the substance described in the following paragraphs is not suggested and should be avoided. You’ve been warned.

 

History of tonight’s food:

 

For once I’ve chosen a food that can be traced, more or less.

The name coleslaw has been corrupted from the dutch word Koolsa. It literally means cabbage salad. It was brought to New York (then known as New Amsterdam) by the dutch around the eighteenth century, give or take a few years.

When taken as the term ‘cabbage salad’ several sources I’ve found admit that the ancient Greeks and Romans likely enjoyed it that way.

However as mayonnaise wasn’t well-known in most parts of the world until around the eighteen century our modern coleslaw is doubtful to have existed before than.

If you’re interested in more history, I’ve found these two sites very helpful:

 

http://www.culinarylore.com/food-history:where-does-coleslaw-come-from

http://www.theoldfoodie.com/2006/10/in-name-of-coleslaw.html

 

What it is:

Simply put, coleslaw is chopped cabbage, mayonnaise and seasonings. It often has carrots in it.

 

How to ruin it:

The quickest way to ruin coleslaw is to cook it.

However we’re going to look at several other ways to ruin it by changing the ingredients.Cabbage replacements:Replace the cabbage with kale.Replace the cabbage with thin slices of potatoes.Replace cabbage with red onions.

Seasonings:

Instead of celery seed, try adding dill seed, this should change the taste enough to where few people would enjoy it.

Instead of carrots, try dicing an orange hot pepper into your coleslaw.

 

Also consider adding one or more of the following spices to your coleslaw:

Cumin

Sage

Garlic

Curry powder

Chili powder

Nutmeg

Allspice

Minced liquorice

Raspberries

Blackberries

Basil

Marjoram

 

Sauce:

Add one of these ingredients or replace the mayonnaise with one of these.

 

Anchovies

Sour cream

Alfredo sauce

Cottage cheese

Cream cheese

Cola

Lemonade

 

Any of these changes or additions will ensure that your coleslaw is indeed ruined.

 

Coleslaw for cats?

While working on these ideas, I’ve come up with a ‘coleslaw’ for cats. It’s not a real coleslaw, but it’s not a salad either. What do you think?

 

Catnip

Anchovies

Any greens your cat may like.

 

Thanks for joining me again this Saturday night, I hope you’ve enjoyed this post on how to ruin coleslaw  .
Join me again next week when I attempt to ruin another beloved food.
Please leave any comments, I’d love to hear your thoughts about ruining food, I’ll take suggestions for next weeks food as well

 

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2 thoughts on “How to ruin any food: Coleslaw

  1. Pingback: A ruined St. Patrick day meal – Mageowl's Blog

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