Jokes for September 4th

It’s the first Wednesday in September, you know what that means don’t you? Time for more jokes! Which it would be whether or not it was September or any other month and regardless of what week it was.
Now that I have that decidedly unfunny line written, I can move on to the jokes… I’m hoping they are a bit funnier. Are you ready?


Why did the peach that was thrown into the compost start a tree farm?

It had the pits to do it.

Why did the bird never need to worry about being locked out of its hotel in Istanbul?

It was a Tur-key!

Why did the mail carrier change careers to enter the ring?

He knew a thing or two about boxing.


What do you get if you cross a garden with a pole vaulter?

A salad bar that keeps raising its standards.

What did one cucumber say to another as it was brined

“This is another fine pickle you’ve gotten us in to!”


How do you eat a pickle while hanging by your feet?

Turn it upside down.

How do you make a pickle salty?

Get it a job on a sea going ship.


Going into the end of the season, a baseball team was on top of the standngs. Then came the bad news, virtually every star on the team was injured. Fifteen games later, with the season hanging in the balance, the manager turned to the replacement players and said “No matter the out come of these last games, we’re going to have a great fall. Either winning the World Series or on the golf course.”

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed these bad jokes.


Do you have anything to say?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s