How to ruin any food: Jams and jellies

Tonight I thought I’d continue to tackle seasonal foods, this time with jams and jellies. I classify these as seasonal as this is the time of year many fruits are ready to be used for jam and jelly making.

This should be an interesting task, ruining jams and jellies, but I doubt it’ll be very hard. Shall we begin?

Before we begin, once more I feel compelled to offer these words:


The rest of this post in intended to be humorous and not to be taken as new culinary treats about to sweep the nation.Any attempt to ingest the substance described below is not suggested and should be avoided. If you do attempt to taste any of the following food related ideas, please be warned that disgust, nausea and possibly even death could be the result.

What it is:

Quite simply, jam is what you get into when you try to write a post about something you don’t know anything about… oh, not that kind of jam?

All kidding aside, jam is a spread made from fruit with limited waste.

Jelly is quite similar to jam, however it utilizes the juice of the fruit without the rest of the flesh and seeds.



As you should realize by now, while I’ll try to give you a few key facts about the history of tonight’s foods, it isn’t a simple thing to do as they have been eaten for so long that no one knows how they were invented for the most part.

From what records survive, the ancient Romans enjoyed jams, in fact one Marcus Gavius Apicius in the first century A.D. wrote a cookbook that had jam recipes in it, more about which can easily be found, here is the Wikipedia article about it

Jam was not very well-known until after the crusades, mostly because sugar was not as prevalent as it is today.

As for Jelly, very little information is available from what I’ve found, only that the word derives from the french word gelée.



How to ruin it:

ruining jams and jelly takes a steady hand, deviate from your recipe too much and it won’t work, the jelly might not set or it might be too thin or thick. How ever it is possible if you are brave.


 Dye jelly!

Use a few drops of food coloring, just imagine eating green strawberry jelly. Purple apple jam, or even blue raspberry jam!

This isn’t too hard to do and pretty safe as you won’t be using more than a few drops of your food coloring.


Does this jam taste funny?

Yes, season your jam. Use just a little bit to keep from risking your jam or jelly setting up. A few drops of flavoring shouldn’t hurt how it sets up, but it should change the taste perfectly! Imagine biting into what looks like raspberry jam and finding that it has a strong mint taste.


Strange jams and jellies:


Everyone else is doing it now, pepper jelly, tomato jelly, you name it and someone had tried to make it. Now it’s your turn.

While this is a bit riskier than simply adding a bit to a proven recipe, it shouldn’t be too hard for you to create a new jam or jelly based on what you have.

Consider two or more flavors. Try Mango and Cherry. Apple and Tomato. Strawberry, blueberry and raspberry. The sky is the limit if you have the patience and skill.


These ideas should give you a good start to ruining your next batch of jam or jelly

I’d like to know if you have any tips or suggestions for ruining jams or jellies.

Thanks for reading, I hope you’ve enjoyed tonight’s post.


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