How to ruin and food: Onion soup

Tonight I’m taking a look at how to ruin onion soup. While I could focus on soups in general, I’m going to save a few soups for later this winter.

Onion soup is popular, this is also the time of year where fresh onions are plentiful and many people are thinking about making soup out of them.

Are you ready to continue?

Before we begin, once more I feel compelled to offer these words:

WARNING: DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU ENJOY GOOD FOOD.

The rest of this post in intended to be humorous and not to be taken as new culinary treats about to sweep the nation.Any attempt to ingest the substance described below is not suggested and should be avoided. If you do attempt to taste any of the following food related ideas, please be warned that disgust, nausea and possibly even death could be the result.

 

History:

Onion soup is one of the oldest meals around, as are soups in general. Once again it is a food that is nearly impossible to date, as adding anything to a pot of water (even before actual pots were invented) to make it go further is just natural.

Onions have been eaten by humans for as long as history records, so alas I cannot shed any light on the history of onion soup, though I suspect that there are many interesting things hidden in the dark edges of history.

 

What it is:

Onion soup is a soup made from onions, normally with a beef broth and other seasonings. Commonly served with cheese melted on top.

 

How to ruin it:

Ruining Onion soup isn’t as hard as you might think, and it can be done in a variety of ways, the broth, the seasonings and even the onion to a lesser degree.

The Broth

The easiest way to ruin onion soup is to use root beer instead of the broth.

Don’t like root beer? Try ginger ale.

If those two ideas aren’t good enough for you, consider these:

  •  Ice tea
  • Ketchup (as a bonus around Halloween you can apologize to your guests about a ‘slight bit of blood’ that might have gotten into the soup).
  • Soy sauce
  • Hot sauce

 

The Seasonings

Seasonings need t be strong enough to pierce the onion flavor to be tasted. Onion soup doesn’t really need spices if you enjoy the flavor of onions. However for our task of ruining onion soup the spices are key.

  • Licorice
  • Anice
  • Vanilla
  • Peppermint
  • Spearmint

Any other strong spice that doesn’t fit with onions also will work.

The Onions

Changing the onion is a bit harder, however it can be accomplished in a few ways.

First off don’t cook the onions, just cut them in large pieces and wait until the rest of the soup is hot, put the onions in just before serving, most people won’t enjoy the taste of raw onions.

Another way to change the onions is to forget them, use lemon slices instead, or potatoes.

 

Consider the following recipe as another way to ruin onion soup.

 

5 cups Broth

1 teaspoon of onion flakes

4 Potatoes, cubed

3 large tomatoes, crushed

2 large carrots, chopped

1 bell pepper, sliced

Thyme to taste

Sage to taste

Pepper to taste

Celery, two stalks

 

Cook it however long you want and call it onion soup. Just make sure to comment on how strong the onions are, your guests will be confused if nothing else.

 

Thanks for joining me tonight, I hope this has given you a few new ideas for ruining onion soup.

Have any ideas of your own on how to ruin onion soup? Please share them in the comments.

I hope you’ll join me again next Saturday night as I ruin another food. Thanks for reading!

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