How to ruin any food: Candy corn

Candy corn, the best vegetable in the world. All kidding aside,  nearly everyone loves candy corn, after all what’s not to like?

Tonight I’m taking a lighthearted look at how you could ruin candy corn, a nearly impossible task, but one I feel quite able to accomplish.

Shall we get started?

Before we begin, once more I feel compelled to offer these words:

WARNING: DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU ENJOY GOOD FOOD.

The rest of this post in intended to be humorous and not to be taken as new culinary treats about to sweep the nation.Any attempt to ingest the substance described below is not suggested and should be avoided. If you do attempt to taste any of the following food related ideas, please be warned that disgust, nausea and possibly even death could be the result.

 

History:

Candy corn is a strain of candy that was bred thousands of years ago when an enterprising genius crossed sugarcane with a strain of corn that was all ready extra sweet. It was lost for thousands of years until a few seeds were found in a lost pyramid in 1880.

All kidding aside, candy corn is one of the odd foods that I’ve  selected over the past months, as its history can be traced, more or less.

It’s generally agreed that it was first made by the Wunderlee Candy Company in Philadelphia, PA sometime in the 1880s, though the exact year is unknown.

However it was the  Goelitz Candy Company that managed to make candy corn popular. It is also credited by some for saving the Goelitz company until they invented the Jelly Belly jelly bean.

Regardless, it is a wonderful candy that  we can enjoy.

More facts can be found at http://www.hauntedbay.com/history/candycorn.shtml

and numerous other sites.

 

What it is:

It’s candy shaped like corn kernels. The kernel is divided in three parts, each part is a different color, yellow, orange and white normally.

 

How to ruin it:

Now we come to the fun part: how to ruin a perfect candy.

I don’t expect everyone to make their own candy corn so they can ruin it from the ground up, there are plenty of other ways to ruin it. Some might be quite tasty too.

 

Baked corn:

This would work, but it’ll all melt into one unappetizing lump.

Creamed corn

This dish might not be too bad depending on how you make it. I’d recommend using ice cream if you want it to be enjoyable. Otherwise I’d suggest adding sage and diced onion to it to give it a bit of a bite.

Corn chowder

A must taste soup. The candy corn will make it sweet, if you add the creamed corn you’d also season it and add a nice creamy texture as well.

Corn bread

Candy corn bread, so good you don’t even need jam or jelly! However the corn might settle to the bottom and burn, which only ruins it.

Candy corn on the cob:

Take a bread stick just out of the oven and roll it in candy corn. Serve with butter and ground pepper.

Candy corn grits:

Just roughly chop candy corn and use as you would normal grits.

 

I hope these ideas will help you ruin candy corn for everyone you know this Halloween.

Please share any ideas you have for ruining candy corn in the comments.

Thanks for reading. I hope you’ll join me again next Saturday night as I ruin another food. Thanks for reading!

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