t’s Wednesday night again, not only that but Halloween is nearly upon us! With that in mind, I’ve come up with some the the strangest, most confusing and hopefully funny halloween themed jokes you’ll ever hear.
Jack L. Antrn was a very respectable CEO of the Squash canner co until one morning while he was inspecting the plant he managed to stumble over a guardrail and land in the waste bin. He was unhurt, but he issued only one comment:”Pumpkin guts.”
How do you stop a charging werewolf?
Toss a bucket of pumpkin guts in its path.
A witch happened upon a vampire and a werewolf who were having a heated debate. When she asked what they were arguing about, the vampire and werewolf replied “Pumpkin guts!”
Once there was a young jack o lantern who was unable to compete at sports, after weeks of careful consideration his doctor reach a conclusion, he had no pumpkin guts.
The werewolf family always made sure to invite a witch along when they took a long trip, whenever they got lost they could just ask “Witch way?”.
Shortly before dawn one day, a vampire was hurriedly flying back to his coffin in bat form when he ran into a witch, literally. The witch lost her broom in the crash, the vampire was disorientated. The vampire, in desperation, grabbed the witch and asked “Witch way up?”
Did you hear that Dracula hired a werewolf to run a steamroller over his patch of turnips?
He had to, he couldn’t squeeze blood from a turnip himself.
Why did vampires enjoy the company of gangsters in the 1930s?
They loved a good blood bath.
What did the vampire hunter do when he had a run of good luck playing poker?
He raised the stake.
Why do vampires avoid butcher shops?
They don’t like the steaks.
When a family of ghosts moved into a new house they threw a party. It wasn’t much of a party, it lacked spirit.
A ghost wanted to change how people saw him, so he went to a party, but no matter how hard he tried, he just wasn’t the life of the party.
Bob the ghost had befriended a medium who was forced to quit doing seances do to lack a lack of people interested in contacting ghosts. In an attempt to cheer up the medium, Bob threw a party for her. Despite inviting other ghosts, witches, vampires and even a zombie, nothing could raise the medium’s spirits.
I hope you’ve enjoyed these jokes.
Please feel free to comment or share a halloween joke of your own.
Thanks for reading!