How to ruin any food: Chicken noodle soup

It’s getting cold outside and everyone is starting to think about soup, so what could be better than to ruin chicken noodle soup?

With that thought in mind I’m going to show you a few foolproof ways to ruin this great soup.

Before we begin, once more I feel compelled to offer these words:


The rest of this post in intended to be humorous and not to be taken as new culinary treats about to sweep the nation.Any attempt to ingest the substance described below is not suggested and should be avoided. If you do attempt to taste any of the following food related ideas, please be warned that disgust, nausea and possibly even death could be the result.



The history of chicken noodle soup is hard to pin point, as normal for these posts.

Chicken soup seems to have originated almost as soon as early human kind discovered how to boil water or shortly there after.

The addition of noodles to soup seems to have originated in Asia.

Other than that the history of this food is cloudy… like some soups.


What it is:

Chicken noodle soup is a simple soup that is made from chicken, broth, noodles and seasonings.


How to ruin it

Ruining such a simple soup requires a delicate touch, though a harder hand only manages to ruin it a bit more thoroughly.


The broth:

The first place to look as we begin to  ruin this soup is the broth. Similar to my earlier post on how to ruin onion soup ( the broth is the first key to examine.

Consider changing the broth completely, use lemonade instead.

A few more substitutions to consider:

  • Vodka (Note: A few people might really enjoy this one!), you would want to serve it cold however.
  • Ginger ale
  • Vinegar
  • Pickle juice

The chicken:

Another good place to ruin this soup is the chicken. While for the most part chicken is chicken, there are a few spots where you can ruin the chicken:

  • Freezer burned chicken
  • Greasy chicken
  • Fast food chicken
  • Chicken flavored pet treats

The noodles:

The final place you can ruin this soup. While most any kind of noodle will work, there are a few that won’t… at least if you do it right.

  • Spaghetti noodles… with spaghetti sauce and meatballs.
  • Linguine noodles… with Alfredo sauce.
  • Lasagna noodles… with lasagna sauce and meat included.
  • Angel hair pasta (just make sure you wonder out load what happened to that large spider web that was in your kitchen.)

With any combination of those you won’t even have to worry about seasoning it! However you can play around with the seasonings to ruin it further. Consider Paprika and Curry powder as two options, though many more exist.


Now for a quick bonus:

Chicken noodle soup for your cat:

Take chicken broth, add plenty of chicken.

Forget the noodles and add catnip.

Serve slightly warm or cool depending on your cat’s preference.



Thanks for joining me tonight, I hope this has given you a few new ideas for ruining chicken noodle soup.

Have any ideas of your own on how to ruin chicken noodle  soup? Please share them in the comments.

I hope you’ll join me again next Saturday night as I ruin another food. Thanks for reading!

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