Jokes for November 19th

It’s Wednesday night again, time for another batch of jokes! Tonight I’ve got a bunch of jokes, both good and bad, that I’m eager to share with you!


What did the submarine captain do when he retired?
He bought a dive.

What did Dr. Van Helsing serve for Thanksgiving?

What did the baseball pitcher turned judge say to the outfielder before throwing the book at him?
You’re way off base.


A world famous cyber thief took sick and when to see a famous doctor. The doctor examined the thief. After careful consideration, the doctor said “Take one tablet an hour and call me in the morning.”

The captain of a submarine retired and opened up a hardware store that only took orders online. Things were going well until one day when a retired enemy admiral turned contractor came in to pick up his order. The retired sub captain asked for his order, the admiral replied “Sink, sink!”


Jane excitedly called up a famous scientistic paper to announce a world shaking discovery.
“I’ve discovered something that can change its mass to be as light a a feather or as heavy as a boulder!”
The scientists were appropriately intrigued and asked for more details.
“It’s a cat,” Jane replied.

What activity are cats adept at?

Thank’s for reading, I hope you enjoyed these jokes tonight.


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