How to ruin any food: Pudding

Welcome to the first How to Ruin Any Food post of 2015! Last year was a great year for ruining foods and I hope that this year will be just as good.

I’ve got a few plans for this year, which includes revisiting a few of the first posts in this series and seeing if we can ruin them further.

Tonight we’re going to look at pudding, like it or hate it, you’ll know how to ruin it after tonight.

Before we begin, once more I feel compelled to offer these words:

WARNING: DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU ENJOY GOOD FOOD.

 The rest of this post in intended to be humorous and not to be taken as new culinary treats about to sweep the nation.Any attempt to ingest the substance described below is not suggested and should be avoided. If you do attempt to taste any of the following food related ideas, please be warned that disgust, nausea and possibly even death could be the result.

History:

The history of pudding is quite complex, it has changed form over the centuries from sausage to the custard-like dessert we know today. The term pudding seems to have its origins in Ancient Rome, it continued through the middle ages without too much change.

However rice puddings have been around almost as long.

The earliest reference to a chocolate pudding dates to the 1740s.

Much more information can be found on the following sites:

http://www.foodtimeline.org/foodpuddings.html

http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Am-Welcoming-You-To-Kik-Culinary-Corner-And-History-Of-Some/297089

 

What it is:

What we’re looking at ruining tonight is the kind of cornstarch pudding we typically enjoy today, such as vanilla, chocolate or butterscotch.

Typically you take milk, sugar, cornstarch with a bit of salt, flavoring and sometimes butter, heat it until the milk is scalded and it’s started to thicken. It can be served either warm or chilled.

 

How to ruin it:

To ruin pudding, we first have to settle on the base, once that’s in place, we can start changing the rest of the ingredients to ruin it.

We’ll start with about 2 cups of milk, heat it and add 2 or 3 tablespoons of cornstarch.

With that simple recipe we can create the perfectly ruined pudding.

A great pudding to start with would have a good cup of sugar, more of less depending on your taste. If you like it sweet use less, if you don’t like your pudding sweet, double the amount of sugar, remember we’re not going after something you’ll enjoy eating here.

After settling on the amount of sugar, we need to decide on the other flavor of our pudding, here are a few to choose from:

  1. Cayenne
  2. Tomato
  3. Avocado
  4. Soy sauce
  5. Bacon grease
  6. Enchilada
  7. Roast beef

Many other flavors are available to you, but these will give you a start. If you decide to make roast beef pudding, just use beef broth, make sure to increase the sugar and add a dash of steak sauce and Worcestershire sauce to the mix, I’d recommend serving it over mashed potatoes.

The most important thing to remember when ruining pudding it that you don’t want to sweetness of the sugar to blend with the other flavors, nor to overwhelm it, what you’re looking for is the sweetness to battle with the other flavor in a never-ending battle for dominance.

A second thing you need to keep in mind is the temperature you serve it at, if you make a roast beef pudding, you’ll want to serve it cold if you enjoy warm meals, or warm if you like cold beef sandwiches.

Also consider serving it with a grating of cheese on top, cheddar is perfect with chocolate pudding if you’re looking to ruin it.

Bacon grease will give you a lip smacking pudding, if you use enough bacon grease you can also use the pudding for a candle if you need the light.

These ideas should help you get started ruining your next batch of pudding.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this post, I’d enjoy reading any thoughts you have, or how you’d ruin pudding.

Thanks for reading. I hope you’ll join me again next week when we ruin another food!

 

 

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