Jokes for March 11th

Tonight I have an interesting array of jokes for you, I hope you enjoy them, I enjoyed coming up with them for you.

——————————

Whys:

Why did the comedian do his act while running a marathon?
He had a running joke.

Why did the marathon runner take a playing card with him?
He was a running joker.

Why did the cookie baker try out for the baseball team?
He had a great cutter.

Whens:

When the cat ran off carrying a book of humor, it became a running joke

When the baseball player went to Los Vegas, he won big at cards, he had an ace on his side.

When the clockmaker trying out for the baseball team had a slow start in spring training, he ran out of time.

Jokes:

A genetic scientist had managed to splice human genes into all the food in his kitchen, while his back was turned everything got out of hand. The food began having battles with one another: the eggs were beaten and the cream was whipped. When the fowl managed to take over most of the kitchen, everything began to change, it was chicken a la king, the beef was grilled, and gladiator style battles were arranged; cherries pitted against oranges, even the fish agreed that fight was the pits.
The only sign of freedom was the apple pie, it was a la mode.
Farmer Bob noticed that the farm next to his had been sold, he wanted to meet his new neighbor, but things came up and it was time for the carrot crop to be harvested before he found time to talk over the fence to the new neighbor. He was surprised to see the new farmer was being followed by a group of rabbits, he managed to ask the new farmer about it.
 “I was an animal trainer, I could get a dog to do any trick you wanted, I trained horses to prance, heck, I even managed to train a cat to sleep on command. These here rabbits are much better however,” the new farmer added, farmer Bob asked how they were better, so the new farmer explained, “I trained them to follow me as I harvest, each one carries a tiny sack of seed, which they plant as they follow me, they are my reseeded hare line.”
———————-
I hope you’ve enjoyed these joke, puns and riddles,

Advertisements

Do you have anything to say?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s