How to ruin any food: Tuna fish sandwich

Tonight I’m going to show you how simple it is to ruin a tuna fish sandwich. I hope you enjoy this post, even if something in it might smell fishy to you.

Are you ready for some fun?

 

Before we begin, once more I feel compelled to offer these words:

WARNING: DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU ENJOY GOOD FOOD.

The rest of this post in intended to be humorous and not to be taken as new culinary treats about to sweep the nation.Any attempt to ingest the substance described below is not suggested and should be avoided. If you do attempt to taste any of the following food related ideas, please be warned that disgust, nausea and possibly even death could be the result.

 

History:

The history of the tuna fish sandwich is very off, mostly because there really isn’t one. I managed to find several interesting facts about tuna and tuna melts, but not one solid fact about tuna fish sandwiches.

I did manage to learn that the word tuna wasn’t coined until the 1880s, also that by 1910 there were a few recipes in cookbooks for tuna fish sandwiches.

The following sites may interest you:

http://thecollegecritics.com/2011/06/18/tour-de-hamdel-chicken-of-the-sea-edition-or-who-invented-the-tuna-melt/

http://homecooking.about.com/od/foodhistory/a/tunahistory.htm

 

What it is:

A tuna fish sandwich at its plainest is composed of tuna and mayonnaise between slices of bread. Most recipes call for pickle relish, black pepper and other spices.

 

How to ruin it:

Ruining tuna fish sandwiches is easy compared to some other foods we’ve ruined in the past, but it does take a delicate touch. It is too easy to go overboard and ruin it past the point you want, in this case moderation is important.

This is one food that you can’t ruin the main ingredient of tuna fish.

Bread:

If you want to ruin a tuna fish sandwich only by the bread, I suggest cinnamon toast, it should have the desired effect.

Spices:

Spices are of course the easiest place to turn, add a bit of cocoa and you’ve ruined your tuna fish sandwich. Here is a list of spices to consider adding instead of the normal ones:

  • Nutmeg
  • Cinnamon
  • Fennel
  • Mustard seed

There are likely other spices that would help ruin it as well.

Mayonnaise:

This is the best place to ruin a tuna fish sandwich in my mind.

Replace the mayonnaise with vanilla frosting, I promise that this will ruin it for anyone you give one to.

Melted white chocolate, this would need to be eaten on a warm day, or while still slightly warm, but it will ruin your sandwich.

Alfredo sauce could also be substituted for mayonnaise.

Cottage cheese, the texture will ruin the sandwich for most people.

Other ingredients:

There are, of course, other ingredients that many people put in a tuna fish sandwich, such as pickle relish. Here are a few options to add to your tuna fish sandwich:

  • Chocolate chips
  • Pineapple chunks
  • Maraschino cherries
  • Cheese curds
  • Gummy candies

 

Bonus recipe:

If you want to get rid of the extra tuna fish you might have, I’ve got a very quick and simple recipe for your cat:

Mix your leftover tuna fish with milk and catnip. Any cat should enjoy this.

 

I hope this fishy post has given you a few ideas on how to ruin your next tuna fish sandwich. Do you have any suggestions? I’d enjoy hearing them.

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this post and I hope you’ll join me again next week as we ruin another food!

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