How to ruin any food: Fettucini Alfredo

Tonight we will be ruining fettucini alfredo. Why you ask? Mostly because I have a habit of using alfredo sauce to ruin many other foods and decided turn about is fair play.

I have to ask, are you ready?

Before we begin, once more I feel compelled to offer these words:

WARNING: DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU ENJOY GOOD FOOD.

The rest of this post in intended to be humorous and not to be taken as new culinary treats about to sweep the nation.Any attempt to ingest the substance described below is not suggested and should be avoided. If you do attempt to taste any of the following food related ideas, please be warned that disgust, nausea and possibly even death could be the result.

 

History:

To begin with, there is some debate on the proper name of the dish, some say fettuccine AlFredo while others prefer Fettucini Alfredo. One may be more correct than the other, but perhaps it doesn’t really matter, we all know what we’re talking about, right?

The dish was created in 1914 by Alfredo di Lelio for his pregnant wife.

 

What it is:

Fettuccine Alfredo is a dish of fettucini noodles mixed with a butter, cream and Parmesan cheese. However in Italy it does not have the cream added to it.

 

How to ruin:

Tonight we’ll be breaking this part down a bit further than normal, but it’ll be worth it.

This isn’t that hard of a dish to ruin, however you do need to have a good bit of imagination.

Pasta:

We most definitely do not want to use fettuccine noodles, it won’t ruin the dish in a large way, but it can certainly help.

Angel hair pasta is a good option, it’s thin and about as far from fettuccine as you can get.

Rigatoni is also a good option, it’s round and at a glance doesn’t resemble fettuccine at all.

Lasagna noodles are a great choice as well, they are large and extremely awkward to eat covered in Alfredo sauce.

Sauce:

This is the key to ruining any batch of fettuccine AlFredo, no matter what kind of pasta you use, it can still be edible and possibly even tasty, once the sauce is ruined however…

Butter:

Butter is very hard to ruin, however you could use margarine or shortening instead.

Cheese:

A key part of the sauce, Parmesan cheese is what everyone thinks of when they think of fettuccine AlFredo. To properly ruin the dish, use any of the following cheeses:

  • Limburger
  • Mozzarella
  • Cheddar
  • Munster

Many other kinds of cheese taste completely different from Parmesan that you can also use, just have a bit of fun and try to out ruin the fettuccine AlFredo your friends make.

Cream:

One of the easiest parts of the dish to ruin, the cream can be replaced with a few things that won’t change the overall look very much is at all, but will change the taste.

Consider ice cream, it is partly cream, but it has enough other flavors in it that no one tasting your fettuccine AlFredo will accept their taste buds at first.

If you want to really ruin it, use mint chocolate chip ice cream, it’ll ruin your dish even faster.

Another good option would be sour cream or cottage cheese, they both have strong enough tastes that it would ruin your fettuccine AlFredo, however a few people might think you’ve created a new delicacy.

 

I hope this post has given you some ideas on how to ruin your next batch of fettuccine AlFredo.

Have a favorite way to ruin it? Post it in the comments!

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this post and I hope you’ll join me again next week as we ruin another food!

 

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6 thoughts on “How to ruin any food: Fettucini Alfredo

  1. HISTORY OF ALFREDO DI LELIO CREATOR IN 1908 OF “FETTUCCINE ALL’ALFREDO” (OR “FETTUCCINE ALFREDO”), NOW SERVED BY HIS NEPHEW INES DI LELIO, AT THE RESTAURANT “IL VERO ALFREDO” (“ALFREDO DI ROMA”) IN ROME, PIAZZA AUGUSTO IMPERATORE 30

    With reference of your article I have the pleasure to tell you the history of our grandfather Alfredo Di Lelio, who is the creator of “fettuccine all’Alfredo” (or “fettuccine Alfredo”) in 1908 in restaurant run by his mother Angelina in Rome, Piazza Rosa (Piazza disappeared in 1910 following the construction of the Galleria Colonna / Sordi). The trattoria of Piazza Rosa is the birthplace of fettuccine all’Alfredo
    Alfredo di Lelio opened the restaurant “Alfredo” in 1914 in a street in central Rome, after leaving the restaurant of his mother Angelina. In this local spread the fame, first to Rome and then in the world, of “fettuccine all’Alfredo”.
    In 1943, during the war, Di Lelio sold the restaurant to others outside his family.
    In 1950 Alfredo Di Lelio decided to reopen with his son Armando his restaurant in Piazza Augusto Imperatore n.30 “Il Vero Alfredo” (“Alfredo di Roma”), which is now managed by his nephew Ines, with the famous “gold cutlery”” (fork and spoon gold) donated in 1927 by two well-known American actors Mary Pickford and Douglas Fairbanks (in gratitude for the hospitality).
    See also the site of “Il Vero Alfredo” http://www.ilveroalfredo.it (with news about franchising) .
    I must clarify that other restaurants “Alfredo” in Rome do not belong to the family tradition of “Il Vero Alfredo” in Rome.
    I inform you that the restaurant “Il Vero Alfredo” is in the registry of “Historic Shops of Excellence” of the City of Rome Capitale.
    Best regards Ines Di Lelio

    Like

    1. Thank you for your fascinating reply to my blog post. It really explains the history more than I did, as well as correct a few facts I had gotten wrong.
      As a fan of old movies, I am aware of who Mary Pickford and Douglas Fairbanks are and find it a fascinating bit of trivia.
      I truly love food and enjoy cooking, i hope you understand that my ruining food posts are meant to be humorous.
      I feel very honored that you took the time to respond.
      I congragulate you on having this restaurant still in your family and i wish you many more years of continued success.
      I hope that you will continue to follow my blog and feel free to comment at any time.

      Like

  2. Hi,
    You sound like a funny guy. We love fettucini alfredo.
    I’m glad you liked my post “…3 Blogging Mistakes?”
    Thanks for your visit to my site on Tuesday. I’m sorry I couldn’t get over here until now to thank you.
    Janice

    Like

  3. Hi Janice,

    I’m glad you enjoyed this post. I, too, enjoy fettuccine Alfredo. I enjoyed writing this post, I learned a lot about the dish, the history of which is amazing.
    I’ve been enjoying your posts, I’m hoping I’m learning something from them too.
    Thanks for reading my blog!

    Like

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