Tonight we will be ruining fettucini alfredo. Why you ask? Mostly because I have a habit of using alfredo sauce to ruin many other foods and decided turn about is fair play.
I have to ask, are you ready?
Before we begin, once more I feel compelled to offer these words:
WARNING: DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU ENJOY GOOD FOOD.
The rest of this post in intended to be humorous and not to be taken as new culinary treats about to sweep the nation.Any attempt to ingest the substance described below is not suggested and should be avoided. If you do attempt to taste any of the following food related ideas, please be warned that disgust, nausea and possibly even death could be the result.
To begin with, there is some debate on the proper name of the dish, some say fettuccine AlFredo while others prefer Fettucini Alfredo. One may be more correct than the other, but perhaps it doesn’t really matter, we all know what we’re talking about, right?
The dish was created in 1914 by Alfredo di Lelio for his pregnant wife.
What it is:
Fettuccine Alfredo is a dish of fettucini noodles mixed with a butter, cream and Parmesan cheese. However in Italy it does not have the cream added to it.
How to ruin:
Tonight we’ll be breaking this part down a bit further than normal, but it’ll be worth it.
This isn’t that hard of a dish to ruin, however you do need to have a good bit of imagination.
We most definitely do not want to use fettuccine noodles, it won’t ruin the dish in a large way, but it can certainly help.
Angel hair pasta is a good option, it’s thin and about as far from fettuccine as you can get.
Rigatoni is also a good option, it’s round and at a glance doesn’t resemble fettuccine at all.
Lasagna noodles are a great choice as well, they are large and extremely awkward to eat covered in Alfredo sauce.
This is the key to ruining any batch of fettuccine AlFredo, no matter what kind of pasta you use, it can still be edible and possibly even tasty, once the sauce is ruined however…
Butter is very hard to ruin, however you could use margarine or shortening instead.
A key part of the sauce, Parmesan cheese is what everyone thinks of when they think of fettuccine AlFredo. To properly ruin the dish, use any of the following cheeses:
Many other kinds of cheese taste completely different from Parmesan that you can also use, just have a bit of fun and try to out ruin the fettuccine AlFredo your friends make.
One of the easiest parts of the dish to ruin, the cream can be replaced with a few things that won’t change the overall look very much is at all, but will change the taste.
Consider ice cream, it is partly cream, but it has enough other flavors in it that no one tasting your fettuccine AlFredo will accept their taste buds at first.
If you want to really ruin it, use mint chocolate chip ice cream, it’ll ruin your dish even faster.
Another good option would be sour cream or cottage cheese, they both have strong enough tastes that it would ruin your fettuccine AlFredo, however a few people might think you’ve created a new delicacy.
I hope this post has given you some ideas on how to ruin your next batch of fettuccine AlFredo.
Have a favorite way to ruin it? Post it in the comments!
Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this post and I hope you’ll join me again next week as we ruin another food!