How to ruin any food: Soda bread

Tonight I’ll show you a few easy ways to ruin soda bread. Perhaps one of the simplest breads in the world, it is also one of the easiest to ruin, as you’ll see here.

Are you ready to bake?

 

Before we begin, once more I feel compelled to offer these words:

WARNING: DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU ENJOY GOOD FOOD.

The rest of this post in intended to be humorous and not to be taken as new culinary treats about to sweep the nation.Any attempt to ingest the substance described below is not suggested and should be avoided. If you do attempt to taste any of the following food related ideas, please be warned that disgust, nausea and possibly even death could be the result.

 

History:

While the origins of soda bread are hazy, it is a fact that it did not begin in Ireland as many would assume by the fact most people call it Irish Soda Bread, that is one thing that everyone agrees on. However it seems to be the only thing that is agreed on when it comes to soda bread.

Unfortunately I wasn’t able to find any source that I trusted enough to quote on the origin of it.

 

What it is:

Soda bread is a bread that uses no yeast, instead it uses baking soda and an acidic ingredient (normally butter milk) to create the carbon dioxide required to rise the bread.

A normal recipe calls for flour, baking soda, salt, butter milk, sugar, an egg and some butter.

 

How to ruin:

Now that we have a bit of the admittedly vague history of soda bread and an idea of what it is, we can get done to the fun of ruining it.

This is a simple bread when you think about it, so there are few places to ruin it, but ruin it we shall!

Milk:

The first place to think about ruining it is the milk. As butter milk is normally used as the acidic ingredient, we can use soy milk instead, soy milk is non-acidic, thus it will ruin the bread by keeping it from rising.

If you want to use regular milk, the milk is also a goof place to add any food coloring that you want to use to mimic a moldy color. One other fun idea, if you really want to play a joke on some one, is to use red food coloring, when you go to serve the bread make sure you apply a large bandage to your hand, if its redden as well, your guests will naturally assume that the red is due to blood, this isn’t a nice trick, but you can assure that you’ll have the whole soda bread to yourself with this trick.

Soda:

Now we get to the best way to ruin soda bread, it’s fun, changes the taste and is very easy, it might even help the bread rise a bit, though I doubt as much as normal baking soda and butter milk would.

Use any of the following in place of baking soda:

  • Root beer
  • Ginger ale
  • Cola
  • Black cherry soda
  • Lemon lime soda
  • Club soda
  • Ginger beer

Of course this list is just a starting place, if there is a certain brand or kind of soda you prefer, use that, it’s still soda, so you can call your bread soda bread, though soda pop bread might be a bit more accurate.

Other ways to ruin it:

You can also ruin it by trading out the butter, use coconut oil for a different taste. If you want you could also use shortening.

Try a flavored salt or soy sauce, they might help ruin the soda bread.

You could also use chocolate eggs instead of regular eggs.

 

I hope you find these ideas helpful for the next time you want to ruin a batch of soda bread.

Do you have any suggestions for ruining Soda Bread? Let me know in the comments.

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this post and I hope you’ll join me again next week as we ruin another food!

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