Jokes for August 5th

its Wednesday night again, how did that happen?

 I’ve got a few jokes for you tonight, they are a bit silly, I hope you enjoy them!




What do you get if you cross late night tv infomercial salesman, a pirate, a squid and a ninja?
An arrr that can slice and dice eight things at once.

What sells like hot cakes in restaurants at the North Pole?




How many tomatoes fit in a jar full of pickles?
None, there are too many pickles.

How did the pirate find Alaska?
He didn’t, but Yukon.

How did the astronaut build a skyscraper?
He claimed that he did naut.




When did the cuckoos birds get into boxing?
When they had their clocks cleaned.

When the acrobat tried to moonlight as a juggler, the circus manager told him to quit clowning around.


Finish these jokes!


Remember when I used to give you the first half of a joke and let you come up with the punchline? It’s back!

Only this time I have a new section! I’ll give you the punchline and you can come up with the first part of the joke.

 Here’s the start of a joke:

    What do you call a pirate who only steals melted sand?

Here’s a punchline:

       No one knows, there still are too many variables.

Now get busy and leave your completed jokes in the comments, the best ones will be showcased in next weeks joke post. Feel free to make minor changes to the wording here.


 I hope you’ve enjoyed these jokes tonight. Thanks for reading!

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