How to ruin any food: Potato Salad

Tonight we are ruining potato salad. For those of you who dislike potatoes, this post should help you convince others to think as we do. Just remember that we have nothing again french fries, but that’s another post.

Are you ready? Beware, you might get egg on your face.

WARNING: DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU ENJOY GOOD FOOD.

The rest of this post in intended to be humorous and not to be taken as new culinary treats about to sweep the nation.Any attempt to ingest the substance described below is not suggested and should be avoided. If you do attempt to taste any of the following food related ideas, please be warned that disgust, nausea and possibly even death could be the result.

History:

For such a staple in our time, it is odd that there is not more information on the history of potato salad. I had expected to find some concrete history, however there really isn’t any. The most quoted refrain is that potato salad is linked to Spanish explores as they discovered potatoes in South America in the 16th century while searching for gold.

However almost as many people credit the Germans for creating potato salad.

While there is no way to know for certain who invented potato salad, I can promise that we’ll ruin it tonight.

What it is:

Potato salad is basically a bunch of cooked potatoes chopped up and mixed with hard-boiled eggs and mayonnaise.

How it’s made:

Take cooked potatoes, chop them into pieces, cubes are preferred by many. Dice your hard-boiled eggs and add to your potatoes. Mix in enough mayonnaise to bind everything together, add relish or celery and whatever other spices you normally use, mix everything together and chill, serve by plopping a scoop on someone’s plate.

How to ruin it:

Potato salad is surprisingly easy to ruin, to make everything easier, I’m breaking it down into several parts.

Potatoes:

The potato is the first thing to ruin and surprisingly easy.

The first obvious thing to do is to use raw, uncooked potatoes, this is an easy way to ruin potato salad as the potatoes should turn an unappetizing brown..

Another way is to use turnips instead, this will startle everyone who tastes it and is another easy way to ruin it.

You could also use a mix of turnips and potatoes.

Sweet potatoes are another interesting option, however it might become a favorite of anyone who tries it.

A much more time-consuming way to ruin it is to use only potato skins.

One last way is to use Idaho Spud candy bars ( http://idahospud.com/bar-idahospud.html ) in place of real potatoes, this will result in a very sticky mess and will ensure a ruined batch of potato salad.

 

Eggs:

The egg is another easy way to ruin a batch of potato salad.

Raw eggs are the easiest way to ruin a batch of potato salad, combined with raw potatoes, there is no way anyone would eat it.

My favorite way to ruin the eggs are to take creme Easter eggs and use those instead, however if used with the Idaho Spud bars, you have created a great dessert.

Mayonnaise:

Ruining Mayonnaise could almost have a post of its own, there are so many ways to ruin it. Here are a few:

  • Vanilla frosting
  • Whipped cream
  • A chilled white sauce with lumps
  • Alfredo sauce
  • Root beer
  • Cola

Any of those will create a potato salad that is ruined.

Spices\relish:

Cinnamon, cloves or nutmeg are perfect spices for ruining the flavor of potato salad.

 

Instead of pickle relish, try one of these:

    • Salsa
    • Tomatillo salsa, green and perfect to fool anyone into thinking it is regular pickle relish.

 

    Chocolate chips

That’s all the ways I have to ruin potato salad tonight, did I miss any? Let me know in the comments!

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it

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One thought on “How to ruin any food: Potato Salad

  1. Pingback: How to ruin any food: A look back at Summer | Mageowl's Blog

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