What would Shakespeare say today?

What would Shakespeare write today? How many ch different would his famous plays be? What about the lines that get quoted so often?

If you’ve been wondering about these questions, I have the answer! I’ve put several seconds into thinking up these reworked quoted. I hope you enjoy!

I’d like to apologize in advance for any formatting errors, the new WordPress app has a few bugs in it.

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Original: A fool think himself wise. A wise man knows himself to be a fool.

Updated: a fool thinks himself wise enough to be a politician. A wise man knows himself to be fool enough to be a politician.

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Original: Better three hours to early than a minute late.

Updated: Better a text too soon than a tweet to late.

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Original: wisely, and slow. They stumble who run fast.

Updated: Wisely and slow. They stumble into traffic who text while jogging.
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Original: There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

Updated: there is nothing either good nor bad, but politicians make it so.

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Original: My words go up while my thoughts remain below. Words without thoughts never to heaven go.

Updated: My words go up while my thoughts remain below. I should have been a political speechwriter.

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Original: To be, or not to be, that is the question.

Updated: To be, or not to be, politicians can have it both ways.
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Original: To be, or not to be, that is the question.

Updated: To tweet or to blog, that is the question I text.
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Original: The lady doth protest too much, me thinks.

Updated: That lady protests like a politician, or I’ll be a grapefruit in sweatpants.
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Original: Out damned spot, out I say!

Updated: Siri, how do I remove blood stains?

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Original: now is the winter of our discontent.

Updated: As we get past the Fall equinox, the days begin to get shorter. As the jet stream moves to bring cold are from the North Pole down our way and the El Niño is forming in the pacific looks to push high than normal amounts of moisture inland, it looks like we’re in for a hard winter. Coupled with a downturn in the economy and a crashing stock market, I’d say we may now have a winter of discontent on our hands.

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How did I do? Do you think that William Shakespeare would write like that if he were alive today? Even if he wouldn’t, I hope you managed to get a chuckle from these updated quotes.

Thanks for reading.

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