How to ruin any food: Beverages: Apple cider

Happy Halloween!

Tonight we’re going to ruin a staple fall and winter drink, apple cider! While there are several interpretations of the word cider, I’m talking about the normal, nonalcoholic drink.

Are you ready to ruin apple cider? I am!

Before we begin, once more I feel compelled to offer these words:


The rest of this post in intended to be humorous and not to be taken as new culinary treats about to sweep the nation.Any attempt to ingest the substance described below is not suggested and should be avoided. If you do attempt to taste any of the following food related ideas, please be warned that disgust, nausea and possibly even death could be the result.

What it is:

Apple cider can be confusing. Many people are unsure what the difference is between apple cider and apple juice, I was confused too, until I did some research:

The basic difference is that apple cider is unfiltered, once it’s been filtered its apple juice.

If you’re interested in more details, here’s a good site to read:


History of Apple Cider:

The history of apple cider is vague at best, it’s undoubtedly one of the oldest drinks around, likely invented as soon as a press was invented in an area where apples grew.

What is known is that apple trees have been grown at least since 1300 BC, (in Egypt if you were wondering), Julius Caesar found apple cider being drank in England when he arrived and is said to have been fond of the drink.

I  personally  like to believe that  the first apple cider was invented by accident when a large boulder rolled off a cliff and smashed a pile of apples into pulp,  the result was applesauce and apple cider.

The one site that I found to be the most helpful of all the ones I read is:


How it’s made:

Apple cider is made by crushing the juice and pulp from apples.

How to ruin it:

Ruining apple cider is not too hard, however it does require a bit of consideration and experimentation. There are four main ways to ruin it, I’ve broken it down into parts as normal.


Spices are one of the easiest ways to ruin apple cider, consider adding any of the

  • Curry powder
  • Cumin
  • Black pepper
  • Cayenne powder
  • Celery seed

Any of these will ruin your apple cider.


Additions are another great way to ruin your apple cider. What kind of additions can you use you might ask, which is a fair question. Additions to drinks are not easy to do in general. You need to make sure that your addition will mix into your apple cider with little or no change to the appearance. Here are a few ideas:


  • Worcestershire sauce
  • Soy sauce
  • Hot sauce
  • Oyster sauce


  • Cornstarch – Makes it thick and nasty.
  • Corn meal – Adds a bit of texture.


If you really want to give your apple cider a different taste, change or add another juice to it:

  • Orange
  • Grape
  • Cranberry

There are undoubtedly other juices that will change the flavor of or apple cider, I chose these three as good examples as they are all very strong flavors on their own.

Other ways:

There are a few other ways to ruin apple cider:

Add ice cubes, but not just any ice cubes, make your ice cubes with:

  • Root beer
  • Tomato juice
  • Lemon juice
  • Ginger ale

Any of those will ruin your apple cider.

Another way to ruin it, or at least have some fun at your guests expense is to take an old computer mouse. or at least the cord from one, dangle it from the pan or jar and tell your guests that you juiced your old computer.


That’s about it for my ideas on how to ruin apple cider, I hope you enjoyed this post!

Have an idea I missed? Post it in the comments!

Thanks for reading.


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