How to ruin any food: Peanut Brittle

Tonight we’re going to ruin Peanut Brittle. While many of us might not eat it, it’s still nice to know how to ruin it, just in case you find yourself in a position where you might have to ruin a batch of peanut brittle on a moments notice.

I hope you enjoy!

Before we begin, once more I feel compelled to offer these words:

WARNING: DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU ENJOY GOOD FOOD.

The rest of this post in intended to be humorous and not to be taken as new culinary treats about to sweep the nation.Any attempt to ingest the substance described below is not suggested and should be avoided. If you do attempt to taste any of the following food related ideas, please be warned that disgust, nausea and possibly even death could be the result.

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What it is:

Peanut brittle is a candy composed of peanuts and a candy brittle, which is a hard sugar or possible a toffee depending on what recipe you find.

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History of Peanut brittle:

Peanut brittle fits in this series of posts very well, partly because there is no one story about how it came to be invented.

Brittle itself is commonly thought to be one of the oldest candies in the world, its origins are, of course, lost to time.

The addition of peanuts to brittle has many legends around it, unfortunately there is really no way to know which may be true:

  • Peanuts and molasses were dumped into a river and saved a town.
  • A southern woman added baking soda to a batch of taffy and continued to cook it.
  • Aliens from Alpha Centuri landed in China and gave a farmer the recipe, saying that he was chosen to help them undermine the human race by getting a large portion of humanity addicted to the candy.
  • The recipe for Peanut brittle was found in an ancient jug floating in the sea, it was assumed to have been floating for over three thousand years and is the last fragment of Atlantis.

While I made up the last two, they seem just as likely as the other stories.

If you’re interested in reading more about the stories behind peanut brittle, I suggest the following site:

http://nationalpeanutboard.org/history/where-did-peanut-brittle-come-from-it-depends-on-whom-you-ask/

 

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How to make it:

The making of peanut brittle is much harder than most other foods I give basic recipes for. It takes sugar and water heated until the sugar begins to get thick and hard, at which point baking soda and peanuts are added. Vanilla and salt may also be added depending on your recipe. I suggest finding a good recipe and a good thermometer before trying to make a batch, unless of course you are ruining a batch, in which case just guess, it’ll help to ruin it if you don’t follow a recipe.

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How to ruin it:

Ruining peanut brittle is fairly simple, there are many ways to do it, from adding spices to replacing the peanuts, there are more ways than you can easily shake a stick at, if you do try to shake a stick at these ideas, please go ahead and add the stick once you are done shaking it.

Peanut replacements:

  • Black jelly beans,
  • Small Peppermint flavored pieces of gum.
  • Pinto beans, dried
  • Chickpeas, dried
  • Corn kernels, dried
  • Chopped garlic cloves
  • Split peas, dried.
  • Small chunks of celery stalk

Any of these replacements will ruin your peanut brittle.

Seasonings:

Seasonings are another easy way to ruin peanut brittle:

 

  • Cumin powder
  • Garlic powder
  • Onion powder
  • Cayenne powder
  • Rosemary

Brittle additions:

Add any of the following to your brittle to ruin it:

  • Root beer
  • Hot sauce
  • Worcestershire sauce
  • Steak sauce
  • Lemonade

Other ways:

Here are a few more ways to ruin your peanut brittle that don’t fit into the other options:

  • Use unshelled peanuts
  • Burn the brittle
  • Make it soft, freeze until hard, it will melt in hands.
  • Take marshmallow creme, add a few drops of green food coloring and drip on top of peanut brittle to make it appear molded.

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That’s about all the ideas I have right now for ruining peanut brittle, have I missed any? Let me know in the comments!

Thanks for reading!

 

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