How to ruin any food: Potato soup

It’s time to ruin another food! Tonight we’re ruining potato soup, which looks to be quite interesting, both in the ruining of it as well as the history of it.

Are you ready?

Before we begin, once more I feel compelled to offer these words:

WARNING: DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU ENJOY GOOD FOOD.

The rest of this post in intended to be humorous and not to be taken as new culinary treats about to sweep the nation.Any attempt to ingest the substance described below is not suggested and should be avoided. If you do attempt to taste any of the following food related ideas, please be warned that disgust, nausea and possibly even death could be the result.

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What it is:

Potato soup is, of course, a soup made from potatoes. It’s comprised of potatoes, broth and often a bit of bacon.

There are many recipes for potato soup, too many to sift through to create a basic soup, so I apologize about not including a recipe for it in this post.

While a basic soup, it is also thought of as a comfort food by many people.

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History of potato soup:

Potato soup is an odd food, there is little to no information on the history of it, so we’re forced to look a bit further into the history of each part of this food:

The history of soup dates back to just after humans learned how to boil water.

The history of the potato seems linked to the Incas, however there are some people who debate this.

What we’re left with is this: At some point in history, people began to eat potatoes. Someone decided to boil a potato and somehow soup was created.

I fear that this is another food that we’ll never know the exact history of.

 

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How to ruin it:

 

Now we come to the fun part of this post, the ruining of potato soup. I promise you that after this you’ll never look at potato soup  in the same way, enjoy!

 

Potato replacements:

The quickest and easiest way to ruin potato soup is to replace the potato:

  • Sweet potatoes – still a potato in name, but it’ll change the soup completely.
  • Turnip – it grows underground like a potato.
  • Rutabaga – another root crop and nasty in its own right.
  • Parsnips – yet another root crop, however it can almost be mistaken for a carrot, which just makes it worse in this soup.
  • Idaho spud candy bar – remember this one? I last suggested it when I ruined potato salad a few months ago, it’ll ruin this soup too!

Broth replacements:

The broth, stock or whatever your recipe calls the liquid for this soup is the next best way to ruin potato soup:

  • Root beer – is there anything this great beverage can’t ruin?
  • Lemonade – another drink everyone loves, yet it can ruin a soup.
  • Coffee – many people enjoy coffee, but not when added to potatoes in a soup.
  • Grape juice – or really any fruit juice, will help ruin this soup.
  • Vodka – it’s made from potatoes after all, however I’d suggest serving this soup cold.

Spices:

Spices are another nice way to ruin a soup. A good soup is carefully seasoned, just enough of a few spices and everything blends perfectly… however when you ruin a soup, you want to use lots of any or all of these spices!

  • Cumin
  • Curry powder
  • Caraway
  • Horseradish
  • Anise
  • Licorice

A few last ways to ruin it:

Yes, once again I have a few ideas that don’t seem to fit into the other categories, I might have been able to squeeze them in, but I thought this spot was better for them:

 

Marshmallows: A handful or five of marshmallows can work wonders for a soup, if your soup is thick enough, they will make it gooey.

 

Potatoes: In addition to replacing the potato with something else, you can just use uncooked potatoes and make sure that they stay hard, this is a perfect way to ruin this soup!

 

Serve it cold: When I say cold, I mean cold! Freeze your soup in bowls and get some dry ice. Before you serve the soup, put a bit of dry ice on top and watch as your guests try to taste it, they will think the steam is because it’s piping hot!

 

Another way to play havoc with this soup and your guests is to serve it with a scoop of ice cream floating on top, just make sure that it’s an odd flavor of ice cream that won’t taste good with your soup, I suggest strawberry or mint chocolate chip.

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That’s all the ways I could come up with to ruin potato soup, did I miss any? What’s your favorite way to serve potato soup? Let me know in the comments!

I hope you enjoyed this post, thank you for taking the time to read it!

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