How to ruin any food: Soft Tacos

Tonight I’m going to show you how to ruin soft tacos. This soft take on the classic hard or crisp taco is quite tasty and even easier to ruin than normal tacos.

I hope you’re ready to enjoy a batch of ruined soft tacos!

WARNING: DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU ENJOY GOOD FOOD.

The rest of this post in intended to be humorous and not to be taken as new culinary treats about to sweep the nation.Any attempt to ingest the substance described below is not suggested and should be avoided. If you do attempt to taste any of the following food related ideas, please be warned that disgust, nausea and possibly even death could be the result.

 

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What they are:

A soft taco is basically a small flour tortilla with beans, meat, cheese and other toppings piled on one side of the tortilla and the other side folded over.

 

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History of soft tacos:

 

The history of tacos is interesting in itself, in fact it seems that what we know today as a soft taco is more traditional than the hard-shelled tacos, though the original soft tacos would have been made with corn tortillas instead of flour ones.

The history of tacos is an uncertain one, though there are references to it having been invented any time between 1500s and the 1800s, though it is possible it is a lot older than either of those dates.

If you’re interested in more details behind the origin of tacos, I suggest these fascinating sites:

National Taco Day: History of the Taco and Recipes

http://allabouttacos.weebly.com/

 

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How to make a soft taco:

 

A soft taco is very simple to make, simply take the filling you normally use for a taco and assemble your soft taco on its side in layers. Normally you’d do it something like this:

Tortilla (of course)

Beans (spread on one half the tortilla)

Meat (right smack dab on top of the beans)

Cheese (On top of the meat)

Salsa

lettuce and sour cream optional.

Fold the tortilla over the filling and enjoy.

 

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How to ruin them:

Now we come to the fun part of the post, ruining soft tacos!

You can ruin your soft tacos by doing any single thing listed below, or if you really want a ruined soft taco, mix and match any  number of the ideas below. Have fun!

Tortillas:

The tortilla is perhaps the most critical part of a soft taco.  The best way to ruin a tortilla is to make them yourself, in which case I suggest reading my post on ruining tortillas:

https://mageowl.wordpress.com/2015/08/09/how-to-ruin-any-food-tortilas/

If you don’t have the time to ruin your tortillas from scratch, there are still a few things you can do to store-bought tortillas:

  • Place the tortillas into a low over until they begin to turn crispy, the tortilla will break when you try to fold it, helping to ruin your soft taco.
  • Take a sharp knife and cut a tiny slit into the center of each tortilla, once folded this will rip and the filling will spill out, ruining your soft taco.
  • Get the largest tortillas you can find, these will be too large to easily eat as a soft taco, ruining your meal.
  • Brush your tortillas with melted butter and shake a mixture of nutmeg and cinnamon on, allow to sit until the butter hardens up. The result will be a tortilla that tastes like it was meant for a dessert, plus if enough butter was used, it’ll become slippery in the eaters hand, ruining the meal.

Refried Beans:

Ruining refried beans is quite easy, I point you to the post I wrote about ruining them:

https://mageowl.wordpress.com/2014/09/28/how-to-ruin-any-food-refried-beans/

Cheese:

Ah, cheese, perhaps one of my favorite ways to ruin something. The wrong cheese can turn a great meal into a ruined meal in seconds.

To ruin your soft tacos, consider using any of the following cheeses instead of cheddar:

  • Limburger
  • Mozzarella
  • Swiss
  • Blue cheese (also adds that moldy color, double the ruin!)
  • Munster

 

Toppings:

What’s better than the toppings on a taco, soft or otherwise?

Try a few of these toppings on your next soft taco to ruin it:

  • Strawberry jam
  • Strawberry jam mixed with pickle relish to mimic salsa.
  • Coleslaw
  • Sauerkraut
  • Spaghetti sauce
  • Mustard
  • Ketchup
  • Barbecue sauce
  • Pesto

Sour cream replacements:

  • Vanilla ice cream
  • Mint ice cream
  • Tomato ice cream (there really is such a thing)
  • Buttered popcorn
  • Frozen yogurt

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There you have it, several ways to ruin soft tacos. Did I miss any? What is your favorite way to ruin a soft taco? Have a food you’d like to see me ruin? Leave a comment!

Thanks for reading!

 

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