Who needs gold?

It is I, Doctor J. Smith again, even though my last few attempts to plunder the wealth of the galaxy on this date have failed, I’m going to try it again! This time there will be no trouble!
 This time, now that this bubble headed Bobbie has become something of an expert at hacking into this blog, if only on April first, I have a grand plan to become rich!

 First off, I’ve built a new machine that, instead of targeting all the gold in the universe, will convert all scrape metal within two parsecs into solid silver… hmmm?

 Don’t worry about how it’ll work, William, just know that it does! Now where was I? Oh yes. The silver will be transported to this barren world by a simple process that I invented. After that, all I have to do is to set up a silver mint and I’ll have more silver coins than I will know how to spend and each one will have my face on them!

 Now I’ll finally have to nought money to buy my way back to Earth! I never wanted to leave there in the first place after all, but things happen.

 It’s time! You, William, pull those levers now! You, robot, you bubble headed numskull, throw those switches now! Yes, yes… everything is working, now I’ll activate the transmuter and… success! Look at all of this silver! More silver than any human has ever seen before!

 Wait.. who are you? The Silver pirates from the Omega nebula? Gah! Look how fast they steal my silver! Do something you chrome plated bucket of bolts!

 Too late… too late… my best plan, ruined, and all because of space pirates!

 Come along, William, my boy, let’s look at that blue box over there. No, I’ve never seen it before, but it says police on it, who better to chase down those pirates and get my silver back?

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