Ask a cat, week twenty part two

As promised, I’m here tonight with Wild Buffalo Betty, this won’t be a long post, but she did have something she wanted to talk about.

 

Thanks for agreeing to do this tonight, Wild Buffalo Betty, was there any questions you really wanted to answer tonight?

 Sigh, yes, Colin, I’d like to take a moment of silence for my favorite actor who went to Boot Hill this week.

 

Your favorite actor died? Agent 028’s favorite actor died too, Roger Moore.

 Yup, he was my favorite actor too, he was in my favorite show, Maverick. The Alaskans was pretty good too.

 

So Roger Moore was a secret agent on a western?

 No! That was that silly Wild Wild West, I’m talking about Maverick, a serious western. He was great in that show, ah reckon.

 

I don’t think I’ve ever watched it, so I’ll take your word for it.

 Ah thank ya, Colin. Now I’m running late for a roundup.

 

What are you rounding up?

Oh the normal, mice mostly, I found a few catnip mice Agent 028 forgot about.

 

Would you like to say the parting words tonight, Wild Buffalo Betty?

 Ah sure would…. take care this weekend, try to watch Maverick or the Alaskans. Colin will return next week with another ask the cat, until then, move ’em up an move ’em out!

A cat’s thoughts, week twenty 

Well I’m here, but unfortunately it seems that Wild Buffalo Betty isn’t… she promised to be here tonight, but I guess that catnip distracted her. I guess I’ll just have to…. oh, here’s Agent 028!

 I don’t have time! I’m busy! Hey!

 

Come on, Agent 028, it’ll only take a few minutes of your time, what are you up to anyway?

 If you must know, I’m getting ready to go on a mission, do you know what happened this week?

 

A few things have happened, what are you referring to?

 A great agent died, they say it was natural, but I don’t agree.

 

Are you referring to the actor Roger Moore?

 Actor? Wow, he was a good undercover agent! You never even realized he was a secret agent pretending to be an actor!

 

Uh… but he played a secret agent…

 In truth, he was a secret agent pretending to be an actor playing a secret agent, which is something few agents can do convincingly.

 

I see you have gathered a few things together… a dozen catnip mice, a feather toy, a bottle cap and a box?

 No, no, no… those are deadly exploding catnip mice, the feather toy contains a GPS tracking device, the bottle cap is a self propelled anti collar device, it can cut through a collar in less than five seconds.

 

 I almost hesitate to ask about the box.

Oh, the ‘box’! It’s an amazing gadget! It flies, sails, it can be pushed or pulled, it can carry anything I need and I can sleep in it.

 

Okay…. did you ever watch Roger Moore in a movie?

Oh no, I knew him much better than in training films, he taught me everything I know about guns and explosives. I also learned a few things about car chases, but I try to leave those for dogs.

 

Well I’m sure you are anxious to get going, but do you have any parting words for our readers?

 Sure, never get into trouble you can’t get out of, always watch your own back and… (stares at iPad) I’m coming for you, Mousefield!

 

Hi ya! How y’all doing?

Wild Buffalo Betty? But we’re done here, Agent 028 filled in for you.

 

Gee… Ah was really hoping to answer your questions tonight.

How about tomorrow night? I’ll ask you a few questions tomorrow night, okay, Wild Buffalo Betty?

 

That sounds great, partner, ah reckon I’ll see ya then, night y’all!

Until tomorrow, Wild Buffalo Betty! 

 

Thanks for reading, I’ll be back tomorrow night with Wild Buffalo Betty,.

A cat’s thoughts, week nineteen 

Tonight I’ve agreed to let Wild Buffalo Betty try a new format, I’m not sure how’s it’s going to work, but let’s see how it goes. Without any further ado, here’s Wild Buffalo Betty!

 

Thanks, Colin! Aha glad to be here tonight. As you said, ah wanted to try something new this week, you can just sit back and listen to me and mah thoughts.

 

If a cat catches a mouse in the woods, does she still get catnip?

 

To bee, or not to bee, Ah don’t really care as long as Ah get enough catnip, you can have a thousand bees if you want.

 

When it comes to ropin’ catttle, ah reckon you should carry a lasso.

 

Give me a home where the Buffalo roam and ah’ll show ya a pile o’ debris.

 

 Every watering hole should have plenty of catnip tea and milk.

 

I look pretty in a cowboy hat, don’t you want to give me catnip?

 

Ah, Wild Buffalo Betty? I don’t think that quite fits.

  Why not? It’s a thought of mine! Ah thought ah could say what I wanted to.

True, but… oh well, here’s some catnip, say goodnight Betty.

  Ah’ not going to fall for that! Goodnight Colin, goodnight readers, Ah hope you enjoyed my thoughts!

 

Well that was interesting… what do you think? Did you enjoy this format or the old one?

Thanks for reading!

 

A cat’s thoughts, week eighteen 

Tonight I have Agent 0028 here, he hadn’t exactly agreed to answer questions, but hopefully I can convince him to share his thoughts.
Thanks for joining us tonight, Agent 0028.

I’m only here because my ear needs to be scratched.

Okay, if that’s how you want it, shall we begin?

Yes, please, after my ear is scratched I’ll take a can of tuna.
How about a few questions first? What did you think of the French election this past weekend?

I can’t comment, I didn’t have anything to do with it.

 

I’m sure you didn’t, your not French. Nor we’re you in France… we’re you?

I really can’t say, though the view from that tower was excellent.

 

Moving on, what are your thoughts about the FBI director being fired?

He should be, in my opinion, he never had good catnip… oh, wait, that’s the CIA director, my mistake.

 

Wait a moment… are you saying you are a real spy? Or are you a Russian double agent?

Nyet… er, no, I cannot confirm or deny such rumors.

 

Assuming for a minute you are a spy cat… cat spy? Secret cat agent? Well, assuming you are one, what are so,e of your skills?

 What can any cat do better than a human? Hack. Assuming I were a spy, I could safely say I’m the best hacker in the world. Want next weeks winning lottery numbers? I’m your cat.

 

So if, say, I wanted to know what someone received in email, I wouldn’t have to contact a Russian hacker?

 Well, a Russian cat could hack as well as me, but so could a Siamese cat… I’m not sure about any lynx, they like linux… not that I have any complaints about different operating systems, I know lots of cats who enjoy windows… actually I think all cats enjoy windows.

 

So I’ll assume you don’t like macs?

Hey, I’m not here to get into any arguments, if you can’t ask simple questions I can ignore, this interview is over.

 

I guess that’s it for tonight, I hope you found Agent 0028’s answers interesting. Thanks for reading!

A cat’s thoughts, week seventeen 

As promised. I’m here with Wild Buffalo Betty, she’s ready to answer a few questions tonight… I hope.

  

Thanks for agreeing to be part of my blog posts this week, Betty!

Sure thing, though I would appreciate it if you would use my full name sometimes.

  

Okay, Wild Buffalo Betty, what do you think about politics?

Politics who?

You couldn’t get that right last night,Mobutu tonight you can?

 I do my best, sometimes I just don’t have the answers.

 

Moving on, who do you think will win the French election this weekend?

I can’t say, but I think one of the candidates is toast.

Are you trying to be funny again, Betty?

Yup, I sure am, partner.

 

We only have the time for two more questions tonight. Did you enjoy the jokes last night, Wild Buffalo Betty?

 I sure did! I enjoy jokes! I love humor too, unfortunately you don’t have much on your blog.

 Hey! I have very little besides humor!

Oh really? Where are the mice on shoes? Where are the toys hidden in the doorways at night? The dry cat food placed carefully where you walk bare foot?

You can’t do that on a blog, Betty.

Oh… I didn’t realize it was censored.

  

Okay… last question… who do you think will win the Kentucky derby this year?

Ah, Kentucky… you know I used to have a home there once…

Really? I’m sure it was an old house.

Yup, it was my old Kentucky home… oh my old Kentucky home…

 Goodnight Betty.

A cat’s thoughts, week sixteen 

Tonight I’m lucky enough to have Wild Buffalo Betty here to answer a few questions, I thought I’d ask her about her thoughts of baseball, this should be interesting.

 

Hi Betty, I hope you’re ready to talk baseball!I’d rather talk about gunfighters, but you’re the guy with the catnip.

 

What pitch do you prefer to see?

Hmm, good question, I guess I’d say ‘I’m a calling you out.’

 

Very funny, now do you prefer curveballs or sliders?

Sliders? Ain’t that some kind of fancy hamburger?

  

I see you want to be a comedian tonight, Betty.

Sigh, Wild Buffalo Betty, you should remember that by now and no, I want to be a wrangler.

 

Moving on, do you think vampires enjoy baseball?

Only if there aren’t any steaks around, that’s why us wranglers have nothing to fear from vampires.

 

Do you enjoy strikes or groundball outs best?

I’d rather be sleeping outside, under a starry night sky listening to the Coyotes.

 

Okay… here’s a question you’ll enjoy, do you like the oriels, the cardinals or the blue jays?

Nah, I’ll pass, chicken for me, please, or turkey.

 

Now that would be a name for a baseball team, the turkeys.

With gravy! Always need plenty of gravy! Oh and don’t forget the gravy!

 

Yes, bet… Wild Buffalo Betty, I know you like gravy. Are there any cats who don’t enjoy gravy with their food?

No, that was settled in the shootout at the ok corral, it was between Kitty Brown and Doc Meow… oddly enough there was a bat there as well, I heard they had a ball.

 

Now you’re just making fun of me!

Of course I am! You want to talk baseball while I want to talk about western stuff.

 

Fine! Who would have been the best playing baseball? Doc Holiday or Bartholemew William Barclay Masterson?

Mr Masterson of course! Even I know his nickname, Bat!

 

That’s about all the time we have for tonight, any parting words, Betty?

It’s Wild Buffalo Betty. Never forget my name or I’ll forget you want to sleep. Now give me a bed of catnip like you promised and you may rub my belly.

 

Thanks for joining us tonight. Have a question you’d like for Wild Buffalo Betty to answer? Ask it in the comments and it’ll be answered next week.

Cats thoughts, week fifteen

Ask the cat’s
Since I didn’t have an ask the cat post last week, tonight I’m not having one cat, but both of them! Wild Buffalo Betty and Agent 0028! This should be an interesting post.
First off I’d like to thank both of you for coming.

WBB: I’m always happy if there is enough catnip involved.

0028: I’m only here because I’m hiding from my arch enemy.

 

What do you think about the start of baseball season?

WWB: I’d rather talk about John Wayne.

0028: I don’t have time for sports… are the Dodgers still playing at Ebbits field?

 

Okay… let’s talk about movies instead, Wild Buffalo Betty loves westerns, what is your favorite movie, 0028?

0028: I prefer spy movies, they give good tips. As for my favorite, I’m not at liberty to say.

WBB: Westerns give better tips! No spy is faster than a lasso!

 

What do you think about air travel after the recent ejection of a passenger?

WBB: westerns are right, always take a train or a stagecoach in a pinch.

0028: I’ll have to disagree with Wild Buffalo Betty, any good spy has to be ready to fight for his seat, just watch any spy movie.

 

Do you think that the Rockies will have a good group of pitchers by June?

0028: if one of them is broken, it was Wild Buffalo Betty, not me!

WBB: You’re talking baseball again, aren’t you? Do you think I’d look good in a cowboy hat?

 

I’m sure you’d look great, Betty.

0028: sure, why not? Just choose a white hat, everyone knows bad guys where black cowboy hates.

WBB: there are always a few exceptions to that rule… but I thought maybe a green one instead.

(Third cat appears and chimes up): green is for bonnets, like Robin Hood!

 

Who are you? I’ve never seen you before!

WBB: oh good! A new cat, do you like westerns?

0028: You’re a spy! Were you sent by FURBALL?

Third cat: you’ll find out about me in time… got any catnip?

 

Well it looks like things are gong to be interesting here. Do any of you have any parting words for the readers?

0028: Always watch your back, spies are everywhere! Oh, bring catnip next week, would ya?

WBB: move ‘me up and move ’em out, pilgrim… and scratch my ears?

Third cat: Friends, country cats, lend me your paws, one for all and all for one! 

 

Well that was interesting. Thanks for reading!

A cat’s thoughts, week fourteen 

Tonight I’m joined by… no cat, actually, they both said they had their fill dong an extra post over the weekend, so I’m going to try to make you forget that there isn’t a cat, please bear with me.
I’m here with no cat. How are you tonight?

… cricket… cricket….

 

Hmmm? Oh, cat got your tongue , eh?

…. cricket…cricket…

 

Well you are a cat, or at least you normally would be. So, what are your thoughts about the political situation?

… glare…. cricket… sticks out tongue.

 

I’m sure almost everyone shares that opinion. Do you expect it to get any better soon?

… stares in disbelief….

 

I’m afraid that’s the general consensus. Turning to other matters, if you could have dinner with one person, er, cat I suppose, who would it be?

… cricket… glare….

 

Ah, of course, you wouldn’t want to share your dinner, sensible answer. Baseball season has just started, are you excited?

YES! Yes! Go Rockies! Strike the bums out! Let’s win some games! Hey, who’s on first this year?

 

Oh look, we have a ghost cat that’s fond of baseball and Abbot and Costello.

Are the Dodgers in Brooklyn again? How about the Giants?

  

I’m afraid we’re out of time for tonight, but with any luck, we’ll have this baseball loving ghost cat back in a few weeks. Any parting words?

 Yes! It’s a shame if the home team doesn’t win.

 

Thanks for reading! Feel free to ask any of the cats a question in the comments below.

Ask the human as asked by Wild Buffalo Betty.

Howdy all, it’s Wild Buffalo Betty here, it’s time to ask a human some questions, ah reckon.
 

Thanks for joinin’ us tonight, Colin.

You’re welcome, Betty I’m happy to be here!

  

Now ah reckon ah should start by askin’ how your week was.

It was great, lot of good food and plenty of cat hair to go around.

  

I’m glad you’re enjoying the cat hair, Ah have plenty more of it. Now what movie do you reckon you like the most?

What movie? Wow, that’s a hard thing to choose, there are a lot of great movies. I do like Singing in the Rain.

  

Ah didn’t ask what you liked to do, but what you liked to watch.

Oh, er… right… how about Operation Petticoat?

  

Ah never reckoned you were some kinda clothes doctor. Now what do ya like to watch on TV movie wise?

The Court Jester?

  

Wow! You are busy! You’re a clothes doctor, a clown and ya sing when it’s rainin’! How do you have time to watch movies?

Sigh, I don’t. I only watch westerns with you, like The Man From Utah.

  

Who’s this man from Utah? Does he like John Wayne movies? What’s on tonight anyway?

The man who shot Liberty Valance , Stagecoach, High Noon…

  

Really? The Man who shot Liberty Valance is on the Stagecoach that leaves at High Noon? I’d love to talk more, but ah bet there’s gonna be a great shootout!

Oh! My Darling Clementine…

  

Bye! I’m out of here! Everyone have a great weekend! And my name is Wild Buffalo Betty, not Clementine!

A cat’s thoughts, week thirteen 

Wild Buffalo Betty is joining us again this week, let’s hear what she hasto say.

Thanks for joining me this week, Betty. What were you up to last week?

Sigh, it’s Wild Buffalo Betty, remember? Last week, let me think… oh yes, Ah was cleaning up after St. Patrick’s day.

 

Cleaning up? Did you have a party? Where was my invitation?

No party, Ah was just washing the mice on my mouse ranch, if you remember ah had a bunch of them who were green… Ah thought they were just in the holiday spirit, but ah guess they got into the food coloring instead.

 

I see. Okay, what have you been up to this week so far?

This week? I’ve been sleeping mostly, plus playing of course, what cat doesn’t like to play games and chase things?

 

Good point. Moving on, what is your take on Brexit?

Ah didn’t do it, honest! Ah didn’t knock over that lamp! It was, uh, a stampede! Yeah, that’s what it was! Them dang cattle stampeded in the middle of the night and knocked the lamp over!

 

I’m talking about Brexit, you know, the U.K. leaving the EU? Thanks for telling me about the lamp by the way.

 Oh… uh, ah reckon it were gunfighters.

  

Gunfighters?

A yup, in all the movies ah watch, whenever someone leaves town or pulls up stakes and leaves their homestead, it’s almost always on account of gunfighters running them off.

 

I’m speechless, Wild Buffalo Betty.

It’s about time too, ah reckon. Now maybe ah can have some peace and quiet to watch Winchester 73, it’s a favorite movie of mine, great gun battles, gunfightin’ and lots more! Want to watch it with me?

 

Sounds like a plan, Wild Buffalo Betty! I’ll get the popcorn.

Popcorn? Bleh! Bring the catnip for me! I’ll finish up here.

 

Now ah reckon it’s time to say a few last words, partner. Ah gotta wrap this thing up and figure out this here DVD player before he gets back with the catnip. Ah hope y’all have a great rest o’ the week and ah know Colin will be back next week with more questions to be askin’ one o’ us cats.

 Thank y’all for readin’ this here post. Yee ha!