Cats thoughts, week fifteen

Ask the cat’s
Since I didn’t have an ask the cat post last week, tonight I’m not having one cat, but both of them! Wild Buffalo Betty and Agent 0028! This should be an interesting post.
First off I’d like to thank both of you for coming.

WBB: I’m always happy if there is enough catnip involved.

0028: I’m only here because I’m hiding from my arch enemy.

 

What do you think about the start of baseball season?

WWB: I’d rather talk about John Wayne.

0028: I don’t have time for sports… are the Dodgers still playing at Ebbits field?

 

Okay… let’s talk about movies instead, Wild Buffalo Betty loves westerns, what is your favorite movie, 0028?

0028: I prefer spy movies, they give good tips. As for my favorite, I’m not at liberty to say.

WBB: Westerns give better tips! No spy is faster than a lasso!

 

What do you think about air travel after the recent ejection of a passenger?

WBB: westerns are right, always take a train or a stagecoach in a pinch.

0028: I’ll have to disagree with Wild Buffalo Betty, any good spy has to be ready to fight for his seat, just watch any spy movie.

 

Do you think that the Rockies will have a good group of pitchers by June?

0028: if one of them is broken, it was Wild Buffalo Betty, not me!

WBB: You’re talking baseball again, aren’t you? Do you think I’d look good in a cowboy hat?

 

I’m sure you’d look great, Betty.

0028: sure, why not? Just choose a white hat, everyone knows bad guys where black cowboy hates.

WBB: there are always a few exceptions to that rule… but I thought maybe a green one instead.

(Third cat appears and chimes up): green is for bonnets, like Robin Hood!

 

Who are you? I’ve never seen you before!

WBB: oh good! A new cat, do you like westerns?

0028: You’re a spy! Were you sent by FURBALL?

Third cat: you’ll find out about me in time… got any catnip?

 

Well it looks like things are gong to be interesting here. Do any of you have any parting words for the readers?

0028: Always watch your back, spies are everywhere! Oh, bring catnip next week, would ya?

WBB: move ‘me up and move ’em out, pilgrim… and scratch my ears?

Third cat: Friends, country cats, lend me your paws, one for all and all for one! 

 

Well that was interesting. Thanks for reading!

A cat’s thoughts, week thirteen 

Wild Buffalo Betty is joining us again this week, let’s hear what she hasto say.

Thanks for joining me this week, Betty. What were you up to last week?

Sigh, it’s Wild Buffalo Betty, remember? Last week, let me think… oh yes, Ah was cleaning up after St. Patrick’s day.

 

Cleaning up? Did you have a party? Where was my invitation?

No party, Ah was just washing the mice on my mouse ranch, if you remember ah had a bunch of them who were green… Ah thought they were just in the holiday spirit, but ah guess they got into the food coloring instead.

 

I see. Okay, what have you been up to this week so far?

This week? I’ve been sleeping mostly, plus playing of course, what cat doesn’t like to play games and chase things?

 

Good point. Moving on, what is your take on Brexit?

Ah didn’t do it, honest! Ah didn’t knock over that lamp! It was, uh, a stampede! Yeah, that’s what it was! Them dang cattle stampeded in the middle of the night and knocked the lamp over!

 

I’m talking about Brexit, you know, the U.K. leaving the EU? Thanks for telling me about the lamp by the way.

 Oh… uh, ah reckon it were gunfighters.

  

Gunfighters?

A yup, in all the movies ah watch, whenever someone leaves town or pulls up stakes and leaves their homestead, it’s almost always on account of gunfighters running them off.

 

I’m speechless, Wild Buffalo Betty.

It’s about time too, ah reckon. Now maybe ah can have some peace and quiet to watch Winchester 73, it’s a favorite movie of mine, great gun battles, gunfightin’ and lots more! Want to watch it with me?

 

Sounds like a plan, Wild Buffalo Betty! I’ll get the popcorn.

Popcorn? Bleh! Bring the catnip for me! I’ll finish up here.

 

Now ah reckon it’s time to say a few last words, partner. Ah gotta wrap this thing up and figure out this here DVD player before he gets back with the catnip. Ah hope y’all have a great rest o’ the week and ah know Colin will be back next week with more questions to be askin’ one o’ us cats.

 Thank y’all for readin’ this here post. Yee ha!

A cat’s thoughts, week twelve

Wild Buffalo Betty couldn’t join us this week, so we’re going to talk to the other day, who we are still trying to find out more about, including his name. 

Thanks for joining me this week, do you have anything to share with us before we begin with the questions?

You’ll never get any answers! I’ve been trained to resist… er, I mean, not really, I’ve just had a nice week sleeping and meowing.

 

Really? Where? I can never find you.

I’d like to tell you, but I’m afraid I can’t, otherwise I’d have to make you vanish and take over your life so no one was any wiser. You aren’t going to put that in the post, are you? Just say my answer is meow.

 

Okay… moving on, it seems like you’re trying not to say you’re engaged in some kind of clandestine affairs. You might be the right person to ask about wiretapping.

 Oh I don’t like wire tapping, I much prefer string pouncing. What, you thought I might say meow?

 

Really? What about yarn or toys with feathers?

Those are great too! Balls of yarn, if they are wound tightly enough, can be used to deflect blame on to dogs, after all, we cats look harmless when we play with a ball of yarn. Meow!

 

And you can also use them to trip people, right?

 Trip, capture, heck, it can even be used to extract catnip from you humans. I mean… meow?

 

I assume that when to set up traps with yarn and toys, you have some kind of plan?

Oh yes, I just love practicing setting up my yarn defenses … er, playing with yarn I mean… meow?

 

What do you think about the latest hacking claims?

 I never stole anyone’s email! Er, I mean… It was Wild Buffalo Betty! Er, meow?
I hate to cut this short, but I’m out of questions, do you have any parting words?

 I hate this part, um… meow?
There you have it, the answer for everything is meow.

Thanks for reading!

A cat’s thoughts, week eleven 

We’re here tonight with Wild Buffalo Betty. 

 Thanks for agreeing to answer some more questions, Betty. Sigh, Wild Buffalo Betty, if’n you don’t mind. I don’t mind answering your questions, but I reckon most of them are gonna be odd again.

 

You’ve got that right! I love odd questions and I love your answers. Did you know it’s the ides of March right now?

Really? I had no ide-ea.

 

Ha ha. Really, this is the time of March Julius Caesar was warned about.

Oh? Did something bad happen to him?

 

He was killed…

That was a bad thing, how did it happen?

 

A bunch of people, including Brutus stabbed him, as he died he uttered the immortal words, “Et tu, Brute”

I’d think there’d be a better set of words, like those spoken in an action move, say I’ll be…

 

Don’t get me in any trouble, Betty… er, Wild Buffalo Betty. Besides,  Julius Caesar’s words have become famous. Besides, I thought you only liked westerns.

I do! But every now and then, I like to watch something else with more action. This Caesar dude wouldn’t have had to worry if he was more like John Wayne.

 

True, he would have just said something like ‘it’s just a scratch, pilgrim.’

Yee ha! Move ’em up and move ’em out! Wagons ho!

 

I think we’re getting off track, Betty. Let’s talk about St. Patrick’s day, its on Friday.

 Oh I just love St. Patrick’s day! That’s the green holiday, right?

  

Yes, you could call it that. What are you planning for St. Patrick’s day?

Well, I’ve been busy this week, I’ve been feeding the mice on my mouse ranch maize and giving them lots of baths!

 

Maize. Baths? Care to explain? Hey! Since when do you have a mouse ranch?

Yes, maize, how else do you expect me to have corned mice? My mice are all nice and green too.

 

Green corned mice… I think we need to have a long talk, Betty, soon too.

I’m hoping for a nice saucer of catnip tea too… no mint ice cream though, I know that’s what you like.

 

Wild Buffalo Betty, I need to know, where is this mouse ranch of yours? Is it in the kitchen? The basement?

 Oh, gee! Look at the time, we’ve got to wrap this post up! Got anything else to say, human? Or would you just like to rub my belly?

 

That’s it for tonight… hopefully Wild Buffalo Betty will share some more details about this ranch of hers soon.

If you have any questions you’d like to be answered by a cat, leave it in the comments and it might be answered next week.

Thanks for reading!

A cat’s thoughts, week ten

It’s time to ask a cat a few questions, this week I have the normal cat with me, he’s agreed to answer a few questions.

 Thanks for joining us this week, where is Wild Buffalo Betty anyway?

She… she had other things to do tonight, I told her there was a mouse under the chair.

 

Is there one?

Of course not! I just wanted her out of my fur, she was trying to teach me to use a lasso!

 

That’s… odd, but sounds like something she’d do. Are you ready for a few questions?

I’m ready, fire at will!

  

Who is Will? He must have a great bulletproof vest.

(Cat stares in annoyance before replying) I’m here to answer questions, not to hear jokes. Try again or I’ll call you Will!

 

Okay, this is real. Did you hear about the alligator that was found in a Florida pool?

Really? So why do people wonder why cats don’t like to swim?

 

What do you think about the town in England, Rochdale, that is trying to ban swearing among other things?

Dang it! I didn’t think I’ve have to answer questions like this tonight! #%@&$ $@&#%!

 

You’ve been reading comic books lately, I assume?

I’ve glanced at a few, mostly right before a nap… or right before I pounced on them.

 

I hope you don’t use your claws on the comic books.

Me? Use my claws on something you like? Don’t be ridiculous! Wild Buffalo Betty is the one who did that… you didn’t see it happen after all, did you?

 

On to other topics, can you tell the readers something about yourself?

Me? Talk about myself? No. no, I cannot tell you anything about myself, if I did, I’d have to kill you.

 

You’re talking like a spy!

No comment… hey! We’re out of time tonight! That’s all the catnip folks! Enjoy your week!

 

Well it doesn’t seem like this cat is willing to talk about himself, at least not this week.

 Thanks for reading!

Have a question for either cat? Ask them in the comments and they might be answered in next week’s post.

A cat’s thoughts, week nine

It’s time to ask a cat a few questions,  tonight I have Wild Buffalo Betty ready and willing to answer a few questions… if she can stay awake that is.
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Wild Buffalo Betty? Wake up, it’s time to answer a few questions.

Now? But I was dreaming I was ropin’ some mice on the lone prairie.

 

I’m sorry Wild Buffalo Betty, but some people want to hear from you.

Oh okay, but one day soon I’m going to go somewhere the deer and buffalo roam… that’s right, I’m gong to get me a home on the range.

 

I don’t think that’s a good idea, Wild Buffalo Betty, there’s too many pots and pans on the range.

 Not that range! The open range!

 

If the range door is left open, I tend to bang my knee against it in the dark.

No! No! No! Don’t you know the old song? Give me a home, etc?

 

You want me to trade you a house for a song? That seems a bit expensive for a song.

Oh! You’re trying to be funny! Either that, or you just want to annoy me.

 

Me? Annoy you? Who thinks feet are a nice bed in the middle of the night?

Hey! I don’t like feet, but you put them where I want to sleep, the fact that I didn’t want that spot to sleep on until you moved is not my fault.

  

I think we’ve gotten a bit off topic tonight.

I agree… I’ll answer one question before I demand catnip and go back to sleep.

 

One question, eh? Okay, how much wood…

Goodnight!

 

Goodnight Wild Buffalo Betty, sleep well, I’m sure everyone will be waiting with baited breath to hear from you next time.

 Fish? The people reading this are fishing? Tell them to send me some and I’ll talk more.

 

There you have it… Wild Buffalo Betty dreams about roping mice on the open range… er, prairie.

Thanks for reading, feel free to ask Wild Buffalo Betty a question in the comments.

A cat’s thoughts, week 8

I’m back again, tonight I have a few questions for a cat, whether or not he’ll have answers is another question.

 

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Thanks for agreeing to answer a few questions again this week, before we begin, do you have anything to say?

I plead the fifth… of catnip tea.

 

Very funny, I thought we agreed I was the one who makes the jokes on this blog.

Yes you are, I’m just the cat who is funnier than you.

 

Moving on, what do you think about the efforts of a group of astronomers trying to make Pluto a planet again?

 Psst! Are you sure you can mention that name on here?

 

Sure, why not?

 Because I think it’s copyrighted by a dead guy named Walt.

 

Not that Pluto. This one orbits the stars.

So does the one I’m think of, he’s always around a few famous mice.

 

This one is a ball of rock that has a long orbit.

Orbit? When did he die? How? At a rock concert?

 

Very funny, are you going to be serious? Or should we quit before you get us in trouble?

That’s all… catnip!

 

Thanks for reading everyone. The cat is enjoying catnip right now and can’t be disturbed… I hope.

If you have any questions you’d like to have answered by a cat, ask them in the comments below.

A cat’s thoughts, week 7

Thanks for joining us again this week. Last week we talked with Wild Buffalo Betty, this week our normal cat is back. Without any questions being asked in the comments, we’ll just have to see what happens.

 

Thanks for being available this week. I hope you didn’t mind giving up last week so Wild Buffalo Betty could answer a few questions.

Not at all, I’m always glad to share the spotlight… I’m not as keen to share food or catnip though.

  

I hear you have quite a sense of humor.

 I sure do… I even have a rubber duck, but I forget where I left it.

 

What do you think about the current political situation?

I think it’s a cat-astrophe!

 

Very funny, like I told Wild Betty last week, I’m the one who makes the jokes around here.

Anything you say… haha.

 

Did you hear the the New York Times Crossword is 75 years old?

Really? That’s puzzling.

 

Cut it out! You aren’t supposed to be making any jokes.

Why not? I’m s not like you’re being funny.

 

This isn’t a joke post.

You could have fooled me, I thought all your posts were jokes.

 

… and that’ll do it for tonight. Next week we’ll have Wild Buffalo Betty back… I hope.

Hey! Don’t I get to give a few final thoughts to these great people reading this?

 

Sure, go ahead…

Thanks you, ladies and gentlemen, I just chased a mouse and boy are my paws tired! No, seriously, I almost had that mouse, but Wild Buffalo Betty got in my way. Yesterday I saw… hey! I’m not done yet!

 

 Yes you are. Thanks for reading, folks!

A cat’s thoughts, week 5

Tonight we welcome back our normal question answering cat! I hope you enjoy tonight’s answer!

 

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 Welcome back, I hope you enjoyed your week off and I’m sure our readers are interested in what you were doing.

 I missed a week? Huh, guess I must have been asleep.

 

This week we’re going to avoid the main political happenings, however I want your opinion on France banning free soda refills, do you think other countries will follow suit?

 Who cares? Maybe you humans care, but I’m going to remain calm until catnip is rationed.

 

Okay, everyone is entitled to their opinions. Moving on, what plans do you have for the weekend?

 The weekend? Same as I do everyday, I guess, eat, sleep, get my ears scratched and my belly rubbed. What else is there to do? Besides catch mice?

 

Do you really like to catch mice?

 Oh yes! It’s fun and I get praised for doing it! There’s nothing better than tossing a mouse down a hallway… I don’t much like the mice you play with, but I’m not much on computers anyway.

 

 That’s about all the time we have for the onight, do you have any words for our readers before we end this weeks ask a cat?

 I do. I have, reluctantly, been hearing about all the political stuff you humans talk about nonstop. I understand that you think it’s important, but just stop talking about politics and let me sleep in peace… at least for a day or two, please.

 

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Thanks for reading this week’s A cat’s thoughts. If you have any questions for either of our question answering cats, please ask them in the comments and they might be answered next week.

A cat’s thoughts, week 4

This post is a few days late this week, but I hope you’ll agree it was worth the wait.

This week the normal cat wasn’t available for questions, so I have a replacement cat, Wild Buffalo Betty. Enjoy her responses, the normal cat should be willing to answer questions again next week.

 

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 First off, I’d like to thank you for taking the time to answer a few questions, Betty.

  It’s Wild Buffalo Betty, if you please. I ain’t liken’ to answer these questions, but it’s a small price to pay for some catnip, ah reckon.

 

Right… what are your thoughts regarding the rash of celebrity deaths lately?

 It’s a shame, some of them were very good actresses and actors, not as good as my favorites, but good.

 

That leads to another question, what movie is your favorite?

 I enjoy any movie with ropin’ in it, or a good ro-dae-o in it!

 

It’s pronounced rodeo.

Poor human, haven’t you ever watched the best movie with a ro-dae-o in it?

 

I’ve watched many movies with rodeos in them, along with lots on westerns and no one ever pronounces it that way.

Mickey Rooney you ain’t, watch Girl Crazy from 1943, you’ll learn its ro-dae-o. Unless you’re claiming that Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland were both wrong.

 

Fine… what events do you like best?

I enjoy watching the roping events, I always hope to learn something I can use.

 

Do you expect to be roping cattle soon? I’ve never heard of cowcats before.

Don’t be a fool! I only rope mice… and unwary human feet. I prefer my lassos to have feathers or bells by the way,  but what do I get? Stupid artificial mice, it’s like giving a cowboy a mechanical bull to ride and expecting him o be happy.

 

I’m afraid we’re going to have to cut this short, but I’m sure everyone is happy to have heard your thoughts tonight. I hope you’ll join us again in a few weeks. Any last words for our readers?

 Yes, give your cats plenty of catnip and feather toys, let them play ro-dae-o with the mice they catch. As John Wayne might say, move ’em up and move ’em out!

 

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Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed these questions with Wild Buffalo Betty. Hopefully next week we’ll be back to the other cat, whom answers our questions without arguing or catnip.

 If you have any questions for either cat, ask them in the comments.