Ask a cat, week twenty seven

It’s that time of the week again, time to ask a cat some questions! I have a few good questions this week, hopefully I’ll get a chance to ask them, but wth these cats, they know how to change the topic. I hope you enjoy!

 

Agent 028? Where’s Wild Buffalo Betty? I thought you were both going to be here tonight?

 We were, but I’m here early, I’m retired now.

 

You’re retired? You gave up being a secret agent?

 No… not that i ever was one.

 

Than why did you say you’re retired?

Well, I was tired yesterday, I slept for maybe eighteen hours or so, then I spent all day hunting and playing, now I’m tired again, so I’m retired.

 

Oh, I see… you’re pulling your bad comedian act on my blog again!

 Thank you very much, ladies and germs!

 

“I think we should change topics now, Agent 028.

 I almost flew in today, but I didn’t have any wings! I ate them!

 

Agent 0281 How do you disarm a mouse?

You take away his guns! Har har!

 

Are you finally ready to be serious?

Not yet! Why did the chicken cross the road?

 

To get to the other side?

To get away from a hungry cat!

 

That’s not even funny.

It is if you’re a cat! Now how many….

 

Oh gee, look at the time! It’s time for catnip!

Cat nip? Catnip? Yes! Did yah say catnip? Am ah in time?

 

Wild Buffalo Betty! You’re too lat tonight, would you mind doing this tomorrow?

 Only if’en ah get catnip both nights!

 

Deal! Just don’t try to crack any jokes tomorrow night, okay?

Ah only crack eggs.

 

Thank you for reading this tonight, I’m sorry it didn’t go quite the way I expected it to. Tomorrow night I’ll have Wild Buffalo Betty and she’ll be answering a few questions on her own. Goodnight everyone!

Ask a cat, week twenty six

Thanks for joining me tonight after a week off, okay maybe it was more than a week. Tonight I have Wild Buffalo Betty here to answer a few questions!

 

Thanks for agreeing to join me tonight, Wild Buffalo Betty, for week twenty six of ask a cat!

 Week twenty six? Shouldn’t that have been last week? Ah thought you had given up this series, Agent 028 thought so too.

 

Valid point, Betty, but I’m still calling it week twenty six, maybe episode twenty six or the twenty sixth edition would be better though.

 How about an all new title? Say: The foolish things cats put up with for catnip.

 

How about we skip debating the title and get down to the questions?

 Oh fine, if we must… Ah just hope the catnip is fresh.

 

Which do you prefer? French fries or coleslaw?

 Which one has catnip? Joking, ah prefer French fries if thar greasy enough, ah just love lickin’ fry grease from mah paws.

 

Interesting… next question, do you prefer twitter or instagram?

 Twitter of course, ah just love the birdies.

 

Now for a question that all Doctor Who fans will debate, which Doctor is your favorite?

It a good show, ah’ve enjoyed most of the episodes Ah’ even watched, but ah prefer the First Doctor, if only because of his best companion.

 

Which companion was that? Barbara? Susan? Ian?

No… not even close, Dorothea Chaplet!

 

Oh, you mean Dodo?

Yes, Dodo, like ah said earlier, ah like the birdies.

 

Okay… that answer threw me for a loop.

Really? I yawned, would you mind doing another loop?

 

I think we’re done for tonight. Do you have any last words for our readers tonight?

Sure! You go get the catnip and I’ll finish up here!

 

Sorry, Betty, but there’s no catnip tonight, you and Agent 028 finished it last night.

 No catnip? No catnip? Nooooo!

 

I guess it’s up to me to finish this after all, Wild Buffalo Betty just ran off.

 Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this post, for Wild Buffalo Betty, I’m Colin, aka Mageowl, saying goodnight!

Ask a cat, week twenty five

I’m here tonight with Wild Buffalo Betty, she’s graciously agreed to answer a few questions… however I think she’s going to ask for something.

 

Thanks for joining me tonight, Wild Buffalo Betty.

 Ah’m happy to be here, Colin, as happy as a cat in a field of catnip.

 

That’s… an interesting analogy, very colorful.

 Ah reckon not, everyone knows catnip is supposed to be green.

 

True… now on to something else involving a lot of green, what do you think about Amazon buying out Whole Foods?

 Ah think it’s a fine thing… least as long as they deliver lots of cat treats and plenty of catnip.

 

I’m sure they deliver both of those already. You seem preoccupied with catnip tonight.

 Catnip? Catnip? Y’all want to give me catnip right now? Oh alright, even if it means not answering more questions tonight, ah’ll make that sacrifice for you.

 

Somehow I think you’re the one who wants catnip… oh okay, you and those eyes. Let’s get you some catnip… but first do you have any parting words?

 Ah surely do! Goodnight, goodnight, parting is such sweet sorrow…. now where’s my catnip?

 

Goodnight everyone, thanks for reading! Feel free to post questions in the comments for either cat to answer next week.

Ask a cat, week twenty four

Another week, another question for a cat. Luckily I’m not asking either cat twenty four questions tonight, if I did we’d be here all night.

 Tonight Agent 028 is going to provide a few cryptic answers to my questions.

 

Thanks for agreeing to answer some questions, Agent 028. 

Eh, I didn’t have anything else to do, I defeated the forces of Mousefield last night and I don’t have to deal with any of DOGS angents until tomorrow night.

 

I see. So, Agent 028, what do you think of all the elections that have been held recently, do you believe any votes were changed by hacking?

 Votes changed by hacking? Not on your life! I’ll have you know that we CATS agents are always on the job! Why not a vote is cast that we don’t double check and correct!

 

Correct? That sounds like changing votes to me.

 Don’t worry about it, Colin, we only make sure that the right sort of people are elected, those who favor better treats for cats and unlimited catnip.

 

So, just how do you correct these votes? Do you use laptops? Or just smartphones?

Neither. We wake people up before dawn and hypnotize them with our special stares, it never fails.

 

Okay… moving on, how about this weather? Near record highs in places!

 Has it been warm? I’ve been sleeping. I do enjoy a nice warm sun beam.

  

You mean to tell me you haven’t noticed how hot it’s been?

 Hey, you wear a fur coat year round, you’ll get used to it too.

 

Somehow I expected a few cryptic answers this week, I didn’t expect you to be so forthcoming in your answers.

 Oh… I can be cryptic. The reason I wasn’t has to do with tomorrow being the day of fur.

 

Day of fur?

Yes, Fursday.

 

Well that’s it for tonight, if we go on much longer Agent 028 will start cracking jokes!

  How many mice does it take to change a lightbulb?

 

I hope everyone enjoyed these questions! I’ll be back with Wild Buffalo Betty next week!

None, they still use candles!

 Goodnight everyone!

Ask a cat, week twenty three

Tonight I have Wild Buffalo Betty here, she’s agreed to answer some questions… a little to eagerly I might add… and without the promise of catnip.

 

Thanks for joining me tonight, Wild Buffalo Betty. Is there anything you’d like to say before we get started?

 Yes! Yes ah would, Colin, its mighty nice o’ you to ask. Ah’d like to share mah sorrow in the loss of that fine actor.

 

I didn’t know you were a Adam West fan.

Adam West? Ah mean Batman, he played Adam West, right? You just take off that mask an he don’t look the same. Course even with the mask on, no one could confuse him with a desperado.

 

Uh… Betty? Batman was played by Adam West in the 1960s tv show. Still I’m sure everyone is happy to know even cats enjoyed that show.

 Sure do, we love the ropin’ and the horse riding! What more can ya ask for in a tv show?

 

Roping? I don’t know about that…

Well the western episodes then, #s 59 and 60, with the outlaw Shame? Great episodes! Great western set too.

 

Ah yes… I remember now. Still I’m surprised you’d enjoy a show about Batman and Robin, seeing as how you’re a cat and all.

 Oh, that… ah’ll admit it ain’t easy at first, plus I always did root for cat woman and all the lions and tigers they found themselves staring down. Yet I’d rather root for a bat or Robin instead of a joker or penguin… but… riddle me this Colin: what has two cats and yet few likes?

 

I give up, Betty, what?

This blog! Hahahaha!

 

Now Betty, it’s summer and not as many people read blogs during the summer. Don’t you have a nicer riddle than that?

 Okay, sure… what’s green, smells nice and needs to be given to a certain cat right now?

 

Catnip?

You got it on the first try! Now let’s get going!

 

Well it looks like that’s all for tonight… but be sure to tune in next week… same blog, same general time!

Ask a cat, week twenty two 

Another week, another ask the cat post.

 Tonight I have Agent 028 here with me, he’s agreed to let me ask him a few questions.

 

Thanks for making yourself available tonight, Agent 028. 

 Well, it was either this or fight the forces of evil on a small island in the Caribbean and somehow, I don’t have a boat anymore.

 

Did you ever have a boat? I thought most cats didn’t like water.

 I don’t like water much, but sometimes a cat had to go ahead and do something they don’t like. I used to have a very nice small boat, more like a raft really, but I lent it to Wild Buffalo Betty and she sank it.

 

Where did she sink it and how?

 In some river… I think it was in Brazil, she said something about Rio, she said it was a grand river. She clawed it, you know how sharp her claws are.

 

Oh yes, she does have sharp claws, as do most cats, yourself included. Now what do you think about the political situation?

 Oh no! I don’t talk politics with anyone! Not never!

 

I think that’s a double negative, but everyone knows what you mean, I don’t blame you a bit. Now what did you do today, I’m sure everyone is eager to learn that.

 Me? Today? Why nothing, I just laid in the sun, sleeping, I ate a bit… we need to talk about this cat food by the way, I looked for mice even though it’s the wrong season and then I went to Rome and stopped a plot to kill someone.

 

Wait… what was that last part?

 I said I enjoy lots of cheese on my catnip pizza.

 

Right… do you have any weekend  suggestions for our readers?

 Oh sure! Get on a plane and go to Timbuktu to meet with a shady character named Ishmael, he’ll get you on a boat and take you on an adventure… just don’t get on the captain’s bad side, I hear he holds a grudge.

 

 Have you been reading classic books again, Agent 028?

 Books? I only use books to keep from being seen while preforming surveillance. Or to set up traps.

 

Are you responsible for that death trap by the kitchen door last week?

 Hey! A cat has to keep in practice, you would have been happy if it would have caught a burglar!

 

As much as I’m enjoying these questions, Agent 028, our time is about up.

 Aww… just when I was starting to enjoy it!

 

 One last question, would you like to help out with the jokes tomorrow night?

 Sure! I’ve got a few great jokes! Why did the mouse…

 

Sorry, that’s all for tonight Agent 028! Thanks for reading, I hope everyone will join us tomorrow night for some jokes!

Cats thoughts, week fifteen

Ask the cat’s
Since I didn’t have an ask the cat post last week, tonight I’m not having one cat, but both of them! Wild Buffalo Betty and Agent 0028! This should be an interesting post.
First off I’d like to thank both of you for coming.

WBB: I’m always happy if there is enough catnip involved.

0028: I’m only here because I’m hiding from my arch enemy.

 

What do you think about the start of baseball season?

WWB: I’d rather talk about John Wayne.

0028: I don’t have time for sports… are the Dodgers still playing at Ebbits field?

 

Okay… let’s talk about movies instead, Wild Buffalo Betty loves westerns, what is your favorite movie, 0028?

0028: I prefer spy movies, they give good tips. As for my favorite, I’m not at liberty to say.

WBB: Westerns give better tips! No spy is faster than a lasso!

 

What do you think about air travel after the recent ejection of a passenger?

WBB: westerns are right, always take a train or a stagecoach in a pinch.

0028: I’ll have to disagree with Wild Buffalo Betty, any good spy has to be ready to fight for his seat, just watch any spy movie.

 

Do you think that the Rockies will have a good group of pitchers by June?

0028: if one of them is broken, it was Wild Buffalo Betty, not me!

WBB: You’re talking baseball again, aren’t you? Do you think I’d look good in a cowboy hat?

 

I’m sure you’d look great, Betty.

0028: sure, why not? Just choose a white hat, everyone knows bad guys where black cowboy hates.

WBB: there are always a few exceptions to that rule… but I thought maybe a green one instead.

(Third cat appears and chimes up): green is for bonnets, like Robin Hood!

 

Who are you? I’ve never seen you before!

WBB: oh good! A new cat, do you like westerns?

0028: You’re a spy! Were you sent by FURBALL?

Third cat: you’ll find out about me in time… got any catnip?

 

Well it looks like things are gong to be interesting here. Do any of you have any parting words for the readers?

0028: Always watch your back, spies are everywhere! Oh, bring catnip next week, would ya?

WBB: move ‘me up and move ’em out, pilgrim… and scratch my ears?

Third cat: Friends, country cats, lend me your paws, one for all and all for one! 

 

Well that was interesting. Thanks for reading!

A cat’s thoughts, week thirteen 

Wild Buffalo Betty is joining us again this week, let’s hear what she hasto say.

Thanks for joining me this week, Betty. What were you up to last week?

Sigh, it’s Wild Buffalo Betty, remember? Last week, let me think… oh yes, Ah was cleaning up after St. Patrick’s day.

 

Cleaning up? Did you have a party? Where was my invitation?

No party, Ah was just washing the mice on my mouse ranch, if you remember ah had a bunch of them who were green… Ah thought they were just in the holiday spirit, but ah guess they got into the food coloring instead.

 

I see. Okay, what have you been up to this week so far?

This week? I’ve been sleeping mostly, plus playing of course, what cat doesn’t like to play games and chase things?

 

Good point. Moving on, what is your take on Brexit?

Ah didn’t do it, honest! Ah didn’t knock over that lamp! It was, uh, a stampede! Yeah, that’s what it was! Them dang cattle stampeded in the middle of the night and knocked the lamp over!

 

I’m talking about Brexit, you know, the U.K. leaving the EU? Thanks for telling me about the lamp by the way.

 Oh… uh, ah reckon it were gunfighters.

  

Gunfighters?

A yup, in all the movies ah watch, whenever someone leaves town or pulls up stakes and leaves their homestead, it’s almost always on account of gunfighters running them off.

 

I’m speechless, Wild Buffalo Betty.

It’s about time too, ah reckon. Now maybe ah can have some peace and quiet to watch Winchester 73, it’s a favorite movie of mine, great gun battles, gunfightin’ and lots more! Want to watch it with me?

 

Sounds like a plan, Wild Buffalo Betty! I’ll get the popcorn.

Popcorn? Bleh! Bring the catnip for me! I’ll finish up here.

 

Now ah reckon it’s time to say a few last words, partner. Ah gotta wrap this thing up and figure out this here DVD player before he gets back with the catnip. Ah hope y’all have a great rest o’ the week and ah know Colin will be back next week with more questions to be askin’ one o’ us cats.

 Thank y’all for readin’ this here post. Yee ha!

A cat’s thoughts, week twelve

Wild Buffalo Betty couldn’t join us this week, so we’re going to talk to the other day, who we are still trying to find out more about, including his name. 

Thanks for joining me this week, do you have anything to share with us before we begin with the questions?

You’ll never get any answers! I’ve been trained to resist… er, I mean, not really, I’ve just had a nice week sleeping and meowing.

 

Really? Where? I can never find you.

I’d like to tell you, but I’m afraid I can’t, otherwise I’d have to make you vanish and take over your life so no one was any wiser. You aren’t going to put that in the post, are you? Just say my answer is meow.

 

Okay… moving on, it seems like you’re trying not to say you’re engaged in some kind of clandestine affairs. You might be the right person to ask about wiretapping.

 Oh I don’t like wire tapping, I much prefer string pouncing. What, you thought I might say meow?

 

Really? What about yarn or toys with feathers?

Those are great too! Balls of yarn, if they are wound tightly enough, can be used to deflect blame on to dogs, after all, we cats look harmless when we play with a ball of yarn. Meow!

 

And you can also use them to trip people, right?

 Trip, capture, heck, it can even be used to extract catnip from you humans. I mean… meow?

 

I assume that when to set up traps with yarn and toys, you have some kind of plan?

Oh yes, I just love practicing setting up my yarn defenses … er, playing with yarn I mean… meow?

 

What do you think about the latest hacking claims?

 I never stole anyone’s email! Er, I mean… It was Wild Buffalo Betty! Er, meow?
I hate to cut this short, but I’m out of questions, do you have any parting words?

 I hate this part, um… meow?
There you have it, the answer for everything is meow.

Thanks for reading!

A cat’s thoughts, week eleven 

We’re here tonight with Wild Buffalo Betty. 

 Thanks for agreeing to answer some more questions, Betty. Sigh, Wild Buffalo Betty, if’n you don’t mind. I don’t mind answering your questions, but I reckon most of them are gonna be odd again.

 

You’ve got that right! I love odd questions and I love your answers. Did you know it’s the ides of March right now?

Really? I had no ide-ea.

 

Ha ha. Really, this is the time of March Julius Caesar was warned about.

Oh? Did something bad happen to him?

 

He was killed…

That was a bad thing, how did it happen?

 

A bunch of people, including Brutus stabbed him, as he died he uttered the immortal words, “Et tu, Brute”

I’d think there’d be a better set of words, like those spoken in an action move, say I’ll be…

 

Don’t get me in any trouble, Betty… er, Wild Buffalo Betty. Besides,  Julius Caesar’s words have become famous. Besides, I thought you only liked westerns.

I do! But every now and then, I like to watch something else with more action. This Caesar dude wouldn’t have had to worry if he was more like John Wayne.

 

True, he would have just said something like ‘it’s just a scratch, pilgrim.’

Yee ha! Move ’em up and move ’em out! Wagons ho!

 

I think we’re getting off track, Betty. Let’s talk about St. Patrick’s day, its on Friday.

 Oh I just love St. Patrick’s day! That’s the green holiday, right?

  

Yes, you could call it that. What are you planning for St. Patrick’s day?

Well, I’ve been busy this week, I’ve been feeding the mice on my mouse ranch maize and giving them lots of baths!

 

Maize. Baths? Care to explain? Hey! Since when do you have a mouse ranch?

Yes, maize, how else do you expect me to have corned mice? My mice are all nice and green too.

 

Green corned mice… I think we need to have a long talk, Betty, soon too.

I’m hoping for a nice saucer of catnip tea too… no mint ice cream though, I know that’s what you like.

 

Wild Buffalo Betty, I need to know, where is this mouse ranch of yours? Is it in the kitchen? The basement?

 Oh, gee! Look at the time, we’ve got to wrap this post up! Got anything else to say, human? Or would you just like to rub my belly?

 

That’s it for tonight… hopefully Wild Buffalo Betty will share some more details about this ranch of hers soon.

If you have any questions you’d like to be answered by a cat, leave it in the comments and it might be answered next week.

Thanks for reading!