Tonight we’re going to ruin an iconic holiday treat, the yule log cake, or as it is technically known as, the bûche de Noël.
While everyone can like this desert, it takes a bit of work to ruin it to the point no one likes it takes some work.
Are you ready for an culinary adventure the likes of which most people have nightmares about?
Before we begin, once more I feel compelled to offer these words:
WARNING: DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU ENJOY GOOD FOOD.
The rest of this post in intended to be humorous and not to be taken as new culinary treats about to sweep the nation.Any attempt to ingest the substance described below is not suggested and should be avoided. If you do attempt to taste any of the following food related ideas, please be warned that disgust, nausea and possibly even death could be the result.
The history of the yule log cake is an old one, one that the origins are hazy at best, which is normal for these posts of mine.
As the cake is a sponge cake, it dates about to around 1615 at least, as that’s when the first recipe for this kind of cake was published, which obviously means that it dates back at least a few years further.
In the nineteenth century it became popularized by bakers in Paris as they tried to out do one another.
The name bûche de Noël wasn’t generally linked to the cake until around the end of WWII from what I was able to find out.
What it is:
An yule log cake is a sponge cake that is rolled up after it is frosted, more frosting is spread on the outside of the cake. The outer frosting is typically grooved with a fork to resemble a tree truck.
A slice is commonly cut off and placed on the side as a discarded branch might be.
How to ruin it:
The trick to ruining this cake is to take a delicate hand to it. Therefore we will not be ruining the cake itself, save for one adjustment.
You will normally have the option to put lemon zest in the cake batter, we’ll replace that with a grated habanero.
The best and easiest place to ruin this cake is in the frosting.
There are several ways to ruin the frosting, you also have the option of ruining just the inner frosting, the outer frosting or both. I’ll give you ideas here for both the inner and outer frosting, it’s up to you which you want to ruin.
Instead of frosting, use mayonnaise.
Another option is a nice Hollandaise sauce that you thicken a bit more, you might want to refrigerate it to set it further.
If those don’t sound bad enough for you, try a cheese sauce.
If you want to go crazy, use a really thick salsa.
For the outer frosting you can once again use mayonnaise, but you might want to do something fancier to normal frosting, here are a few ideas:
Flavor your frosting with a can of root beer, it’ll add a bit of something to the frosting and be so unexpected that it’ll ruin your cake.
Add soy sauce to the frosting instead of milk, it’ll add a bit of saltiness to it, though certain people might like it, such as old salts or anyone who loves the sea.
Use plain cream cheese to frost your cake, no sugar or flavoring at all, it’ll be so bland that it’ll ruin it without trouble.
Use regular frosting, then top it with black pepper for that earthy look.
I hope that these ideas will help put some spice in ruining your desert during these holidays.
Please feel free to offer your own tips on how to ruin a yule log cake.
Thanks for reading, I hope you’ll join me again next week when we ruin another food.