Random thoughts by Colin

Tonight I have a few random thoughts for you.

If a bear took up golf and got annoyed, would he be teed off?

People ask how much wood a woodchuck could chuck, yet no one asks just who named them woodchucks since they don’t throw chunks of wood.

With baseball season winding down, regardless of if your team is in the playoff race, it’s time to set the clocks for February, less than six months until spring training!

Wild Buffalo Betty and Agent 028 have a lot of good posts for you coming up this week, I’ve agreed to let them continue with their posts if they can get twenty likes this week, so if you enjoy the odd posts those two cats write, give them a few likes this week.

I’ll be back next weekend to let you know what happens!

Thanks for reading!

Advertisements

Agent 028 where are you?

There’s a mad scientist in the Bronx,

His hideout’s in the Alps.

There’s a conspiracy theory in Hawaii,

That’s turning out to be quite righty.

There’s a navy short a sub,

That food’s not good to snub.

Agent 028 where are you?

.

There’s a mad scientist in the Bronx,

His hideout’s in the Alps.

There’s a conspiracy theory in Hawaii,

That’s turning out to be quite righty.

There’s a navy short a sub,

That food’s not good to snub

Agent 028 where are you?

Mouse acres

(As sung by Wild Buffalo Betty and Agent 028 in order)


Mouse acres is the cat’s meow.

Mouse ranching is the life for me.

Catnip spreading out so far and wide.

Keep the sofa, just give me that countryside.

.

The sofa is where I’d rather stay.

I get tired chasing mice.

I just adore an ear scratch.

But did you say catnip?

.

The mice!

The naps!

The catnip!

Okay you got me there!

.

Mouse acres here we come!

I’m back!

After a few weeks away, I, Colin, have returned to start blogging again.

While I hadn’t expected to have Wild Buffalo Betty and Agent 028 blog while I was gone, I see it went pretty smoothly… aside from them hitting save as draft instead of publish a few time this week.

As Wild Buffalo Betty reported, I’ve agreed to let her and Agent 028 do a few more posts this month, I’ve seen the ones that they have ready to go and I hope you’ll enjoy them as much as I have, I’m looking forward to seeing what else they come up with next week.

Now this wouldn’t be much of a post from me without a few jokes, so here we go!

———————————————————-

What did one bar of soap say to the other?

Don’t lye to me!

What does soap do on a lazy day?

It lyes around.

What did the police detective tell the bar of soap?

I know when you lye.

Why couldn’t the detective catch the soap?

It was too slippery.

—————————————————————-

Well that’s it for tonight, I hope you got a chuckle out of the jokes, I’d be lying if I said they were my best.

Thanks for reading!

Oh we’re off…

Oh we’re off to smell the catnip! The wonderful, wonderful, wonderful catnip of mine!

We sniff it for it is a whiz of a nip,

Oh if ever a nip there was this is it!

Because, because, because because,

oh because of the wonderful things it does!

Oh we’re off to smell the catnip! The wonderful catnip of mine!

The tail of Wild Buffalo Betty

Ah’m just a poor kitty, looking for catnip. This is mah story:

Ah were born on the range… the open range, not a cookin’ range. Ah was raised beside cows and horses, broke mah first horse at six weeks and ah’ve ain’t never looked back.

Six months ago, a mean ole gunfighter killed mah pa, so Ah strapped on this here six gun and ah’ve been searchin’ for the outlaw ever since.

Ah’ve had lots ‘o adventures, riding herd with John Wayne, getting into gun fights with James Stewart. Leading a wagon train across country from St. Louis to San Francisco, even laying on top of a stagecoach with my rifle shooting desperadoes who wanted the strong box!

Ah’ll never forget Bullrun either… ah was hanging onto that bull with all mah claws, ah don’t think he liked that.

Now Ah’m no closer to finding that outlaw who killed mah pa, but ah’ve got a standing invitation to join Colonel Cody’s show.

Now if’en ah could just find a bit o’ catnip ah can relax tonight…

Wild Buffalo Betty cooks again!

Hi y’all, it’s me, Wild Buffalo Betty, tonight ah’m a goin’ to show you the best topping for a hotdog… no, not that kind of dog! A beautiful, or whatever kind o’ sausage you are gonna eat.
First, take a large glop o’ sour cream, I just love sour cream! Put it in a bowl and eat it… er, I mean… a nice large bowl where you can mix something else into it, or if you want to make a large batch, just mix it in the container itself.

 Next, add a lot of catnip! Oh, catnip! My favorite thing!

 Now mix the two together until the our cream looks greenish in color, yes you need that much, more if possible. 

 Next,  this is the hardest part! Let it sit for at least an hour, over night is better, but I don’t think anyone would have that much will power! I never have any left over for the next day myself, although, Colin doesn’t let me make a very large batch.

  

There you have it, the absolute best recipe ah’ve ever found! Enjoy!

Sit down and…

It’s me, Agent 028… I didn’t really want to do this, but Wild Buffalo Betty insisted, she said if I refused to do at least one post on this blog while Colin is away, she’d steal all my catnip and my blanket!

So I’m going to tell you a quick tail…

Sit down and I’ll tell you a tail, a tail of a cat named Tom, a poor wild cat just trying to find catnip…

Tom was hunting one day, just trying to keep fed, when he pounced on a bird and struck oil, nasty stuff, it ruined his feast.

Well Tom was annoyed and he said to his kin, “I ain’t living here in an oil pit no more, California, that’s where I’m a going!”

So he took up his catnip and headed out, California bound he was, he had heard o’ a place where no oil was to be found, a woman called Beverly lived in those hills.

Now Tom is quite fit and he spends his days on the fiddle, hunting fast mice and rolling in catnip.

But whenever his kin showed up, he’d chase them right off, yowling “Don’t come back now, ya hear!”

Ask a cat, week thirty

Another week, another post with crazy answers by cats.
Tonight I have Agent 028 here answering questions. Hopefully he’ll have some good answers to my questions tonight.

Thanks for joining me tonight, Agent 028!
It wasn’t my idea, but between Wild Buffalo Betty and my bosses who think these posts are good publicity, I had no choice.

First off, have you had any interesting adventures this past week?
I did, several in fact, but I can’t tell you about them, they have been classified top secret. I can tell you about the twelve hours I spent staring under the cupboard if you’d like.

That’s okay, Agent 028, I wouldn’t want you to give up any trade secrets. I was wondering if you could tell me who catches more mice, you or Wild Buffalo Betty?
Well… that’s an interesting question. I could catch more, but since I’m so busy saving the world… er, you know I meant sleeping there. Anyway, I let Wild Buffalo Betty catch most of them since she raises them.

I’ve heard of Betty’s hobby, as have most people reading this post. Tell me, if ranching mice is such a great hobby like Betty claims, why didn’t you get involved in it?
Me? Raise mice? I like to catch them and play with them, I wouldn’t be seen on a mouse ranch!

Moving on from mice… what do you think about the political situation?
I think it means I’ll be very busy… er… sleeping. Yes, that’s it! I’m tired of it!

I think most people are tired of hearing about nothing but politics. What would you like to discuss next?
Um… I guess I’ll have to act like Wild Buffalo Betty here and say… catnip!

Ah yes, the go to topic for cats! Do you prefer your catnip fresh or dried?
It comes fresh? I think I’ll stay with dried, it sounds easier to roll in.

Do you prefer catnip mice or just a pile of catnip?
As Wild Buffalo Betty would say: Both! Now!

I shouldn’t have started talking about catnip before I was ready to end this post, huh?
There is no better time to have catnip. Seize the day, seize the catnip, or so I always say!

Okay! Okay! Before we go, do you have anything else to say to the readers tonight?
I do, actually… never let yourself get dragged into answering questions unless you know you can get catnip out of it. Goodnight everyone! Come back n, Colin! Let’s go!

That’s our post for tonight… just a moment, Agent 028! If you want a cat to answer a question of your choosing, leave it in the comments! Thanks for reading!

Ask a human #7

Welcome y'all, Ah'm Wild Buffalo Betty and it's time to ask a human a few questions. Now ah don't know about y'all, but ah was havin' a mite o' trouble remembering how many weeks Agent 028 and ah have been doing this, so ah took the liberty o' renaming it to number o' posts.
This week ah have Colin answering these questions.

Thank ya fur joining me, Colin, are you ready to answer a few questions?
Hi Betty! I'm glad to be here! I'm more than ready, I'm eager! How are we doing it this week?

Ah'm glad you asked that, Colin! Ah was going to have ya give me the answers before I asked the questions, but that might be confusing.
So what else is new? This post can be anything! My first answer is twenty seven!

How many mice do you want in your slippers overnight?
Maybe this wasn't a good way to do it after all. A dozen books worth is my second answer.

For mah second question, how many more moths do you want?
Okay… next answer… only what you like.

Oh good! Er… ah mean… what's for dinner tonight?
Hey! That one worked nicely! Next answer… a few hours of reading.

What would you happily give up to pet me?
I have a feeling you're making up these questions after I give you my answer. Shakespeare.

How do you scare away a drunk dragon?
I see what you did there, Wild Buffalo Betty! Nice one.

In two words, tell me what you thought of the last mouse ah caught.
I still think you're cheating, Betty. Only green.

What color should catnip be?
Why does it always come down to catnip for you, Betty?

Yes, please! Right now if you please.
I answered right into that one, didn't I? Okay, Betty. I'll go get the catnip while you finish this post.

Thank ya for joining me tonight, Colin! Make sure the catnip is fresh!
Ah want to thank everyone for reading this tonight. Now don't tell Colin, but Agent 028 and I have something new planned for next week!
Good night, y'all!