Jokes for April 13th

I didn’t have the chance to come up with any new jokes, so I thought I’d dust off a few classic jokes, enjoy!

 

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What kind of bed do berries like best?

Straw.

 

What did the criminal turned baseball player say after he bought a house?

“I’ll never steal home again!”

  

 Why do baseball pitchers make excellent bowlers?

Because they know how to throw strikes.

  

Why did the omelet refuse to pitch at a certain ballpark?

The fans were always egging him on. 

 

Why do pack rats make excellent pinch runners?

They are always stealing. 

  

Why did the prospector never go hungry?

There was always something in his pans. 

 

How do mechanics fry their French fries?

In an oil pan. 

  

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I hope you enjoyed these jokes. Thanks for reading!

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Jokes for April 6th

It’s Thursday night again, but much more importantly is the fact that it’s the first week of baseball season! Enjoy these baseball jokes.

 

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Why was the golfer banned from being a ball boy?

Because he kept getting a hole in one.

  

Why did the chef quit the team?

He couldn’t cut the mustard.

 

Why did the baseball team sign a knitter?

They needed a more good mitts.

 

Why did the baseball manager hire the lemonade as a scout?

Because it had found a good pitcher.

 

Was the vampire hunter bet concerned about the baseball season opener?

Of course, he had quite a stake in it.

  

Why did the frog watch the baseball game?

He had always dreamed of being a catcher.

 

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I hope you enjoyed these jokes. Thanks for reading!

Two jokes for August 3rd

It’s Wednesday night again, it’s been another quick week so far, but I managed to come up with too jokes for you, enjoy!

 

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What did the citrus fruit promise when he ran for office?

Lemonade.

  

What does a citrus fruit need when its injured?

Lemon-aid.

 

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I hope you enjoyed the jokes tonight, thanks for reading!

Jokes for July 27th

It’s Wednesday night again. These summer days are just flying by, aren’t they? I haven’t been blogging much this month, but I’m going to try to add at least one more post a week.

 I wasn’t able to come up with any jokes I thought were good enough, so here are a few old jokes, I hope you get a chuckle from them.

 

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A priest, a cowboy and pirate were marooned on an island. There was nothing growing on the island except for bananas. After eating their fill, the cowboy and pirate discovered that the bananas were bad and causing hallucinations.

As the priest watched, the pirate tried to wrap a banana peel around his head, meanwhile the cowboy was similarly trying to tie a banana around his next.

 Finally the priest realized that in their hallucinations, the cowboy and pirate believed that the bananas were bandanas.

 “I’m glad I didn’t go ape over those,” the priest said aloud, adding “if I had, I’d be bananas by now!”

 

 

When the investigator found a clue, he quickly declared it to be something fishy, though he could never explain what a red herring was doing in a tuna cannery. 
   

 

How do you make a banana leave you alone?

 Show it the ice cream and chocolate sauce, that’s sure to make any banana split.

 

 

What was the complaint of the puma on a beach?

Sandy claws.

 

 

 

Why did the omelet refuse to pitch at a certain ballpark?

The fans were always egging him on. 

  

  

Why do pack rats make excellent pinch runners?

They are always stealing. 
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 I’ll try to have some new jokes for next week. Thanks for reading.

Humor for April 27th

Believe it or not, it’s Wednesday night again, which means it’s time for some humor!

 I have a few jokes, puns and general bits of humor for you tonight, I hope you enjoy!

 

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Why did the flower grower take up shipbuilding in April?

Because he needed a few Mayflowers.

 

 

What did the inspector say when the box of eggs was pushed off a table?

That they were knocked off.

 

 

When a ghost starts to drink, you might say that the spirit was in good spirits.

  

 

The soufflé chef couldn’t make the baseball team as manager because he couldn’t get the batter up.

 

 An artist who specialized in carving marble statues was hired to carve a statue out of cheese, he worked diligently on it. His employer checked in to see how the statue was coming, the artist just said “So far so Gouda.”

 

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I hope you enjoyed the humor tonight. Thanks for reading!

Baseball jokes for April 6th

Baseball season started this week, so I thought I’d present you with a few baseball jokes tonight. I hope you enjoy them!

 

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How did the rookie become the fans favorite player on the team?

He was a hit.

 

Did the baseball player enjoy his career?

He had a ball.

 

How important was the home opener?

It was key.

  

Why do baseball pitchers make excellent bowlers?

Because they know how to throw strikes.

 

Why was the baseball team of vampires the best in the league? 

Because they suck the life out of other team!

 

Why was a strangler the best player playing against vampires? 

Because he choked up on the bats!

 

Why was a zombie baseball team always the worst of league? 

Because they’re always looking for new brains.

 

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 I hope these jokes gave you a chuckle.

Thanks for reading, now play ball!