Jokes for June 22nd 

Sorry about the jokes being a bit rare this month. I’ll do my best tonight, I hope you enjoy!

 

What do you get if you cross a baseball with a football?

I’m not sure, but it won’t work for either sport.

 

What did the spy say to the chef at the burger place?

I need the recipe to the secret sauce!

 

Why did the spy make a good chef?

He was always able to acquire secret recipes.

 

Why was the say turned chef irreplaceable?

He was the only one with clearance to the recipes.

 

Why did the spy decide to become a short order chef?

He wanted to come in from the cold.

 

I hope you enjoyed these jokes, thanks for reading!

Jokes for April 6th

It’s Thursday night again, but much more importantly is the fact that it’s the first week of baseball season! Enjoy these baseball jokes.

 

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Why was the golfer banned from being a ball boy?

Because he kept getting a hole in one.

  

Why did the chef quit the team?

He couldn’t cut the mustard.

 

Why did the baseball team sign a knitter?

They needed a more good mitts.

 

Why did the baseball manager hire the lemonade as a scout?

Because it had found a good pitcher.

 

Was the vampire hunter bet concerned about the baseball season opener?

Of course, he had quite a stake in it.

  

Why did the frog watch the baseball game?

He had always dreamed of being a catcher.

 

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I hope you enjoyed these jokes. Thanks for reading!

Jokes for March 9th

It’s Thursday night again, that means it’s time for some jokes! I hope you enjoy, I tried to find something that would appeal to everyone.

 

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Why did the bell offer to make a fruit salad?

Because it was good at peeling.

 

Why did the chef complain that he felt like a bell?

Because he had been peeling all day.

 

What did people say about the desert the chef made in the shape of a bell?

It was a-pealing.

 

What happened when the banana ran into the bell?

It peeled.

 

When the clockmaker ran out of chimes, he put an orange in his new clock, he hoped that it would let out a peel when struck.

 

Why did the bell like apples instead of strawberries?

They had a good peel.

 

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I hope these jokes made you laugh. Thanks for reading!

Jokes for March 3rd

It’s Friday night, time for Thursday night jokes, sorry for the delay.

 

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Why did the chef win an Oscar?

It was for something he whipped up.

 

Why did the chef become an inventor?

He enjoyed whipping up new things.

 

How did the chef get enough money to build a new restaurant?

He buttered up an investor during a toast.

 

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Thanks for reading, I hope to be back on schedule next week.

Jokes for February 23rd

It’s Thursday night, which means that tomorrow is Friday. Who is ready for the weekend?

 Anyway, I hope you enjoy these jokes tonight.

 

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What day of the week is a chef’s favorite day?

Fry-day

 

What day of the week do potatoes hate the most?

Friday

 

Why does ice cream enjoy Fridays?

Because it’s not a sundae.

 

Was the egg roll happy it was Monday?

Yes, it was over the moon happy that it wasn’t Friday.

 

Which day of the week is the best day to make fritters?

Friday.

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I hope these jokes made you out chuckle, or at least made you want some French fries.

Thanks for reading!

Jokes for February 2nd: a few classics

It seems like it’s been a quick past two weeks, unfortunately I haven’t come up with any new jokes, so instead I thought I’d share a few old jokes that you might not remember, enjoy!

 

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A man walked into a truck stop and ordered a hamburger, and as an after thought he added “Hold the pickle.”

 A few moments later, Harry, the truck stop’s harried short order chef whose was very hairy, came marching out on the kitchen and thrust a dripping cucumber into the man’s hand, saying “Hold your own pickle!”

 

Jack went to a taco joint south of the border for Lunch, after he had eaten he noticed a rabbi, a cardinal and a cleric making something together behind the counter, curious he asked the proprietor, Jose.

 Jose opened his mouth to reply, but a ninja fell from the ceiling, pressed a dirk to Jose’s throat and asked what he wanted on his tombstone.

 Being a person who always answered any questions asked him, and knowing that he had only one more chance to speak before he died, answered both questions at one by saying “Holy guacamole!”

 Jose was astounded when the ninja laughed, handed him an avocado pizza and left peacefully.

 

A woman was arrested after buying a jar of sodium and a portable power pack, she was charged with a salt and battery.

 

A famous sport star past his prime recently put his house up for sale, when the real estate agent asked why, he pointed to the ceiling and said “My fans don’t like me anymore.”

 

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Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this classic jokes.

Thursday night jokes for January 5th

New year, new night, new jokes! Enjoy!

 

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Why can’t snowmen be politicians?

Because they aren’t full of hot air.

 

Why is a retired pirate like a stale pretzel?

They are both old salts.

 

Did you hear about the dentist who repaired teeth with candy? He gave everyone a sweet tooth.

 

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I didn’t promise that they’d be good jokes. I hope you enjoyed these jokes anyway. Thanks for reading!

Jokes for December 15th

Thursday? Are you sure it’s Thursday? Maybe it’s really Wednesday… Wednesday plus one day.

 Okay, I’m running late with this weeks jokes, but such things happen during the holiday season. Enjoy these jokes even though they are a day late.

 

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What decoration did the investor buy?

Silver bells.

 

What creature likes rain at Christmas time?

A rain-deer.

 

What is a snowmans favorite musical instrument?

Jingle bells.

 

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That’s all the jokes for tonight, I hope you enjoyed them.

Thanks for reading!

Jokes for December 7th

Another week, another joke. I’m just getting warmed up with winter themed jokes, I hope you enjoy!

 

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What happened when the village of snow people had a party?

It turned into a snow ball.

 

 Why did the reindeer attack the entryway ?

Because it wanted to deck the hall.

 

How did the snowman politician deal with the political uncertainty?

He didn’t, he just froze.

 

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I hope you enjoyed these jokes, I’ll have more next week. Thanks for reading!

Thursday night jokes

When is Thursday like Wednesday? When I lose track of the days. While that might not be a good joke, it is, unfortunately, the truth, somehow I forgot that last night was Wednesday night.

 I’ve decided to bring back a few old jokes for tonight, since it’s almost winter, I thought you might enjoy these snowy jokes.

 

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Why did the gambler start a snow removal business?

Because you can clean up with snow.

 

Why did the gambler in Alaska start a snow removal business?

He said it was a sure bet.

 

Was the snowman afraid of the snow shovel?

He was frozen stiff.

 

Why is a melting snowball like a spy?

They both came in from the cold.

 

Why did the snowball become a rouge spy?

Because is was out in the cold.

 

A priest, a snowman and a farmer walk into a police station in Hawaii to report a crime. The farmer and priest enjoy the warmth, while the snowman says “I feel like I’m being grilled.”

 

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That’s all for tonight, I hope you enjoyed the jokes, thanks for reading!