A cat’s thoughts, week seventeen 

As promised. I’m here with Wild Buffalo Betty, she’s ready to answer a few questions tonight… I hope.

  

Thanks for agreeing to be part of my blog posts this week, Betty!

Sure thing, though I would appreciate it if you would use my full name sometimes.

  

Okay, Wild Buffalo Betty, what do you think about politics?

Politics who?

You couldn’t get that right last night,Mobutu tonight you can?

 I do my best, sometimes I just don’t have the answers.

 

Moving on, who do you think will win the French election this weekend?

I can’t say, but I think one of the candidates is toast.

Are you trying to be funny again, Betty?

Yup, I sure am, partner.

 

We only have the time for two more questions tonight. Did you enjoy the jokes last night, Wild Buffalo Betty?

 I sure did! I enjoy jokes! I love humor too, unfortunately you don’t have much on your blog.

 Hey! I have very little besides humor!

Oh really? Where are the mice on shoes? Where are the toys hidden in the doorways at night? The dry cat food placed carefully where you walk bare foot?

You can’t do that on a blog, Betty.

Oh… I didn’t realize it was censored.

  

Okay… last question… who do you think will win the Kentucky derby this year?

Ah, Kentucky… you know I used to have a home there once…

Really? I’m sure it was an old house.

Yup, it was my old Kentucky home… oh my old Kentucky home…

 Goodnight Betty.

A cat’s thoughts, week sixteen 

Tonight I’m lucky enough to have Wild Buffalo Betty here to answer a few questions, I thought I’d ask her about her thoughts of baseball, this should be interesting.

 

Hi Betty, I hope you’re ready to talk baseball!I’d rather talk about gunfighters, but you’re the guy with the catnip.

 

What pitch do you prefer to see?

Hmm, good question, I guess I’d say ‘I’m a calling you out.’

 

Very funny, now do you prefer curveballs or sliders?

Sliders? Ain’t that some kind of fancy hamburger?

  

I see you want to be a comedian tonight, Betty.

Sigh, Wild Buffalo Betty, you should remember that by now and no, I want to be a wrangler.

 

Moving on, do you think vampires enjoy baseball?

Only if there aren’t any steaks around, that’s why us wranglers have nothing to fear from vampires.

 

Do you enjoy strikes or groundball outs best?

I’d rather be sleeping outside, under a starry night sky listening to the Coyotes.

 

Okay… here’s a question you’ll enjoy, do you like the oriels, the cardinals or the blue jays?

Nah, I’ll pass, chicken for me, please, or turkey.

 

Now that would be a name for a baseball team, the turkeys.

With gravy! Always need plenty of gravy! Oh and don’t forget the gravy!

 

Yes, bet… Wild Buffalo Betty, I know you like gravy. Are there any cats who don’t enjoy gravy with their food?

No, that was settled in the shootout at the ok corral, it was between Kitty Brown and Doc Meow… oddly enough there was a bat there as well, I heard they had a ball.

 

Now you’re just making fun of me!

Of course I am! You want to talk baseball while I want to talk about western stuff.

 

Fine! Who would have been the best playing baseball? Doc Holiday or Bartholemew William Barclay Masterson?

Mr Masterson of course! Even I know his nickname, Bat!

 

That’s about all the time we have for tonight, any parting words, Betty?

It’s Wild Buffalo Betty. Never forget my name or I’ll forget you want to sleep. Now give me a bed of catnip like you promised and you may rub my belly.

 

Thanks for joining us tonight. Have a question you’d like for Wild Buffalo Betty to answer? Ask it in the comments and it’ll be answered next week.

Cats thoughts, week fifteen

Ask the cat’s
Since I didn’t have an ask the cat post last week, tonight I’m not having one cat, but both of them! Wild Buffalo Betty and Agent 0028! This should be an interesting post.
First off I’d like to thank both of you for coming.

WBB: I’m always happy if there is enough catnip involved.

0028: I’m only here because I’m hiding from my arch enemy.

 

What do you think about the start of baseball season?

WWB: I’d rather talk about John Wayne.

0028: I don’t have time for sports… are the Dodgers still playing at Ebbits field?

 

Okay… let’s talk about movies instead, Wild Buffalo Betty loves westerns, what is your favorite movie, 0028?

0028: I prefer spy movies, they give good tips. As for my favorite, I’m not at liberty to say.

WBB: Westerns give better tips! No spy is faster than a lasso!

 

What do you think about air travel after the recent ejection of a passenger?

WBB: westerns are right, always take a train or a stagecoach in a pinch.

0028: I’ll have to disagree with Wild Buffalo Betty, any good spy has to be ready to fight for his seat, just watch any spy movie.

 

Do you think that the Rockies will have a good group of pitchers by June?

0028: if one of them is broken, it was Wild Buffalo Betty, not me!

WBB: You’re talking baseball again, aren’t you? Do you think I’d look good in a cowboy hat?

 

I’m sure you’d look great, Betty.

0028: sure, why not? Just choose a white hat, everyone knows bad guys where black cowboy hates.

WBB: there are always a few exceptions to that rule… but I thought maybe a green one instead.

(Third cat appears and chimes up): green is for bonnets, like Robin Hood!

 

Who are you? I’ve never seen you before!

WBB: oh good! A new cat, do you like westerns?

0028: You’re a spy! Were you sent by FURBALL?

Third cat: you’ll find out about me in time… got any catnip?

 

Well it looks like things are gong to be interesting here. Do any of you have any parting words for the readers?

0028: Always watch your back, spies are everywhere! Oh, bring catnip next week, would ya?

WBB: move ‘me up and move ’em out, pilgrim… and scratch my ears?

Third cat: Friends, country cats, lend me your paws, one for all and all for one! 

 

Well that was interesting. Thanks for reading!

A cat’s thoughts, week thirteen 

Wild Buffalo Betty is joining us again this week, let’s hear what she hasto say.

Thanks for joining me this week, Betty. What were you up to last week?

Sigh, it’s Wild Buffalo Betty, remember? Last week, let me think… oh yes, Ah was cleaning up after St. Patrick’s day.

 

Cleaning up? Did you have a party? Where was my invitation?

No party, Ah was just washing the mice on my mouse ranch, if you remember ah had a bunch of them who were green… Ah thought they were just in the holiday spirit, but ah guess they got into the food coloring instead.

 

I see. Okay, what have you been up to this week so far?

This week? I’ve been sleeping mostly, plus playing of course, what cat doesn’t like to play games and chase things?

 

Good point. Moving on, what is your take on Brexit?

Ah didn’t do it, honest! Ah didn’t knock over that lamp! It was, uh, a stampede! Yeah, that’s what it was! Them dang cattle stampeded in the middle of the night and knocked the lamp over!

 

I’m talking about Brexit, you know, the U.K. leaving the EU? Thanks for telling me about the lamp by the way.

 Oh… uh, ah reckon it were gunfighters.

  

Gunfighters?

A yup, in all the movies ah watch, whenever someone leaves town or pulls up stakes and leaves their homestead, it’s almost always on account of gunfighters running them off.

 

I’m speechless, Wild Buffalo Betty.

It’s about time too, ah reckon. Now maybe ah can have some peace and quiet to watch Winchester 73, it’s a favorite movie of mine, great gun battles, gunfightin’ and lots more! Want to watch it with me?

 

Sounds like a plan, Wild Buffalo Betty! I’ll get the popcorn.

Popcorn? Bleh! Bring the catnip for me! I’ll finish up here.

 

Now ah reckon it’s time to say a few last words, partner. Ah gotta wrap this thing up and figure out this here DVD player before he gets back with the catnip. Ah hope y’all have a great rest o’ the week and ah know Colin will be back next week with more questions to be askin’ one o’ us cats.

 Thank y’all for readin’ this here post. Yee ha!

A cat’s thoughts, week twelve

Wild Buffalo Betty couldn’t join us this week, so we’re going to talk to the other day, who we are still trying to find out more about, including his name. 

Thanks for joining me this week, do you have anything to share with us before we begin with the questions?

You’ll never get any answers! I’ve been trained to resist… er, I mean, not really, I’ve just had a nice week sleeping and meowing.

 

Really? Where? I can never find you.

I’d like to tell you, but I’m afraid I can’t, otherwise I’d have to make you vanish and take over your life so no one was any wiser. You aren’t going to put that in the post, are you? Just say my answer is meow.

 

Okay… moving on, it seems like you’re trying not to say you’re engaged in some kind of clandestine affairs. You might be the right person to ask about wiretapping.

 Oh I don’t like wire tapping, I much prefer string pouncing. What, you thought I might say meow?

 

Really? What about yarn or toys with feathers?

Those are great too! Balls of yarn, if they are wound tightly enough, can be used to deflect blame on to dogs, after all, we cats look harmless when we play with a ball of yarn. Meow!

 

And you can also use them to trip people, right?

 Trip, capture, heck, it can even be used to extract catnip from you humans. I mean… meow?

 

I assume that when to set up traps with yarn and toys, you have some kind of plan?

Oh yes, I just love practicing setting up my yarn defenses … er, playing with yarn I mean… meow?

 

What do you think about the latest hacking claims?

 I never stole anyone’s email! Er, I mean… It was Wild Buffalo Betty! Er, meow?
I hate to cut this short, but I’m out of questions, do you have any parting words?

 I hate this part, um… meow?
There you have it, the answer for everything is meow.

Thanks for reading!

A cat’s thoughts, week eleven 

We’re here tonight with Wild Buffalo Betty. 

 Thanks for agreeing to answer some more questions, Betty. Sigh, Wild Buffalo Betty, if’n you don’t mind. I don’t mind answering your questions, but I reckon most of them are gonna be odd again.

 

You’ve got that right! I love odd questions and I love your answers. Did you know it’s the ides of March right now?

Really? I had no ide-ea.

 

Ha ha. Really, this is the time of March Julius Caesar was warned about.

Oh? Did something bad happen to him?

 

He was killed…

That was a bad thing, how did it happen?

 

A bunch of people, including Brutus stabbed him, as he died he uttered the immortal words, “Et tu, Brute”

I’d think there’d be a better set of words, like those spoken in an action move, say I’ll be…

 

Don’t get me in any trouble, Betty… er, Wild Buffalo Betty. Besides,  Julius Caesar’s words have become famous. Besides, I thought you only liked westerns.

I do! But every now and then, I like to watch something else with more action. This Caesar dude wouldn’t have had to worry if he was more like John Wayne.

 

True, he would have just said something like ‘it’s just a scratch, pilgrim.’

Yee ha! Move ’em up and move ’em out! Wagons ho!

 

I think we’re getting off track, Betty. Let’s talk about St. Patrick’s day, its on Friday.

 Oh I just love St. Patrick’s day! That’s the green holiday, right?

  

Yes, you could call it that. What are you planning for St. Patrick’s day?

Well, I’ve been busy this week, I’ve been feeding the mice on my mouse ranch maize and giving them lots of baths!

 

Maize. Baths? Care to explain? Hey! Since when do you have a mouse ranch?

Yes, maize, how else do you expect me to have corned mice? My mice are all nice and green too.

 

Green corned mice… I think we need to have a long talk, Betty, soon too.

I’m hoping for a nice saucer of catnip tea too… no mint ice cream though, I know that’s what you like.

 

Wild Buffalo Betty, I need to know, where is this mouse ranch of yours? Is it in the kitchen? The basement?

 Oh, gee! Look at the time, we’ve got to wrap this post up! Got anything else to say, human? Or would you just like to rub my belly?

 

That’s it for tonight… hopefully Wild Buffalo Betty will share some more details about this ranch of hers soon.

If you have any questions you’d like to be answered by a cat, leave it in the comments and it might be answered next week.

Thanks for reading!

A cat’s thoughts, week ten

It’s time to ask a cat a few questions, this week I have the normal cat with me, he’s agreed to answer a few questions.

 Thanks for joining us this week, where is Wild Buffalo Betty anyway?

She… she had other things to do tonight, I told her there was a mouse under the chair.

 

Is there one?

Of course not! I just wanted her out of my fur, she was trying to teach me to use a lasso!

 

That’s… odd, but sounds like something she’d do. Are you ready for a few questions?

I’m ready, fire at will!

  

Who is Will? He must have a great bulletproof vest.

(Cat stares in annoyance before replying) I’m here to answer questions, not to hear jokes. Try again or I’ll call you Will!

 

Okay, this is real. Did you hear about the alligator that was found in a Florida pool?

Really? So why do people wonder why cats don’t like to swim?

 

What do you think about the town in England, Rochdale, that is trying to ban swearing among other things?

Dang it! I didn’t think I’ve have to answer questions like this tonight! #%@&$ $@&#%!

 

You’ve been reading comic books lately, I assume?

I’ve glanced at a few, mostly right before a nap… or right before I pounced on them.

 

I hope you don’t use your claws on the comic books.

Me? Use my claws on something you like? Don’t be ridiculous! Wild Buffalo Betty is the one who did that… you didn’t see it happen after all, did you?

 

On to other topics, can you tell the readers something about yourself?

Me? Talk about myself? No. no, I cannot tell you anything about myself, if I did, I’d have to kill you.

 

You’re talking like a spy!

No comment… hey! We’re out of time tonight! That’s all the catnip folks! Enjoy your week!

 

Well it doesn’t seem like this cat is willing to talk about himself, at least not this week.

 Thanks for reading!

Have a question for either cat? Ask them in the comments and they might be answered in next week’s post.

A cat’s thoughts, week nine

It’s time to ask a cat a few questions,  tonight I have Wild Buffalo Betty ready and willing to answer a few questions… if she can stay awake that is.
—————–

 

Wild Buffalo Betty? Wake up, it’s time to answer a few questions.

Now? But I was dreaming I was ropin’ some mice on the lone prairie.

 

I’m sorry Wild Buffalo Betty, but some people want to hear from you.

Oh okay, but one day soon I’m going to go somewhere the deer and buffalo roam… that’s right, I’m gong to get me a home on the range.

 

I don’t think that’s a good idea, Wild Buffalo Betty, there’s too many pots and pans on the range.

 Not that range! The open range!

 

If the range door is left open, I tend to bang my knee against it in the dark.

No! No! No! Don’t you know the old song? Give me a home, etc?

 

You want me to trade you a house for a song? That seems a bit expensive for a song.

Oh! You’re trying to be funny! Either that, or you just want to annoy me.

 

Me? Annoy you? Who thinks feet are a nice bed in the middle of the night?

Hey! I don’t like feet, but you put them where I want to sleep, the fact that I didn’t want that spot to sleep on until you moved is not my fault.

  

I think we’ve gotten a bit off topic tonight.

I agree… I’ll answer one question before I demand catnip and go back to sleep.

 

One question, eh? Okay, how much wood…

Goodnight!

 

Goodnight Wild Buffalo Betty, sleep well, I’m sure everyone will be waiting with baited breath to hear from you next time.

 Fish? The people reading this are fishing? Tell them to send me some and I’ll talk more.

 

There you have it… Wild Buffalo Betty dreams about roping mice on the open range… er, prairie.

Thanks for reading, feel free to ask Wild Buffalo Betty a question in the comments.

A cat’s thoughts, week 8

I’m back again, tonight I have a few questions for a cat, whether or not he’ll have answers is another question.

 

———————————

 

Thanks for agreeing to answer a few questions again this week, before we begin, do you have anything to say?

I plead the fifth… of catnip tea.

 

Very funny, I thought we agreed I was the one who makes the jokes on this blog.

Yes you are, I’m just the cat who is funnier than you.

 

Moving on, what do you think about the efforts of a group of astronomers trying to make Pluto a planet again?

 Psst! Are you sure you can mention that name on here?

 

Sure, why not?

 Because I think it’s copyrighted by a dead guy named Walt.

 

Not that Pluto. This one orbits the stars.

So does the one I’m think of, he’s always around a few famous mice.

 

This one is a ball of rock that has a long orbit.

Orbit? When did he die? How? At a rock concert?

 

Very funny, are you going to be serious? Or should we quit before you get us in trouble?

That’s all… catnip!

 

Thanks for reading everyone. The cat is enjoying catnip right now and can’t be disturbed… I hope.

If you have any questions you’d like to have answered by a cat, ask them in the comments below.

A cat’s thoughts, week 7

Thanks for joining us again this week. Last week we talked with Wild Buffalo Betty, this week our normal cat is back. Without any questions being asked in the comments, we’ll just have to see what happens.

 

Thanks for being available this week. I hope you didn’t mind giving up last week so Wild Buffalo Betty could answer a few questions.

Not at all, I’m always glad to share the spotlight… I’m not as keen to share food or catnip though.

  

I hear you have quite a sense of humor.

 I sure do… I even have a rubber duck, but I forget where I left it.

 

What do you think about the current political situation?

I think it’s a cat-astrophe!

 

Very funny, like I told Wild Betty last week, I’m the one who makes the jokes around here.

Anything you say… haha.

 

Did you hear the the New York Times Crossword is 75 years old?

Really? That’s puzzling.

 

Cut it out! You aren’t supposed to be making any jokes.

Why not? I’m s not like you’re being funny.

 

This isn’t a joke post.

You could have fooled me, I thought all your posts were jokes.

 

… and that’ll do it for tonight. Next week we’ll have Wild Buffalo Betty back… I hope.

Hey! Don’t I get to give a few final thoughts to these great people reading this?

 

Sure, go ahead…

Thanks you, ladies and gentlemen, I just chased a mouse and boy are my paws tired! No, seriously, I almost had that mouse, but Wild Buffalo Betty got in my way. Yesterday I saw… hey! I’m not done yet!

 

 Yes you are. Thanks for reading, folks!