Ask a cat, week twenty seven

It’s that time of the week again, time to ask a cat some questions! I have a few good questions this week, hopefully I’ll get a chance to ask them, but wth these cats, they know how to change the topic. I hope you enjoy!

 

Agent 028? Where’s Wild Buffalo Betty? I thought you were both going to be here tonight?

 We were, but I’m here early, I’m retired now.

 

You’re retired? You gave up being a secret agent?

 No… not that i ever was one.

 

Than why did you say you’re retired?

Well, I was tired yesterday, I slept for maybe eighteen hours or so, then I spent all day hunting and playing, now I’m tired again, so I’m retired.

 

Oh, I see… you’re pulling your bad comedian act on my blog again!

 Thank you very much, ladies and germs!

 

“I think we should change topics now, Agent 028.

 I almost flew in today, but I didn’t have any wings! I ate them!

 

Agent 0281 How do you disarm a mouse?

You take away his guns! Har har!

 

Are you finally ready to be serious?

Not yet! Why did the chicken cross the road?

 

To get to the other side?

To get away from a hungry cat!

 

That’s not even funny.

It is if you’re a cat! Now how many….

 

Oh gee, look at the time! It’s time for catnip!

Cat nip? Catnip? Yes! Did yah say catnip? Am ah in time?

 

Wild Buffalo Betty! You’re too lat tonight, would you mind doing this tomorrow?

 Only if’en ah get catnip both nights!

 

Deal! Just don’t try to crack any jokes tomorrow night, okay?

Ah only crack eggs.

 

Thank you for reading this tonight, I’m sorry it didn’t go quite the way I expected it to. Tomorrow night I’ll have Wild Buffalo Betty and she’ll be answering a few questions on her own. Goodnight everyone!

Ask a cat, week twenty six

Thanks for joining me tonight after a week off, okay maybe it was more than a week. Tonight I have Wild Buffalo Betty here to answer a few questions!

 

Thanks for agreeing to join me tonight, Wild Buffalo Betty, for week twenty six of ask a cat!

 Week twenty six? Shouldn’t that have been last week? Ah thought you had given up this series, Agent 028 thought so too.

 

Valid point, Betty, but I’m still calling it week twenty six, maybe episode twenty six or the twenty sixth edition would be better though.

 How about an all new title? Say: The foolish things cats put up with for catnip.

 

How about we skip debating the title and get down to the questions?

 Oh fine, if we must… Ah just hope the catnip is fresh.

 

Which do you prefer? French fries or coleslaw?

 Which one has catnip? Joking, ah prefer French fries if thar greasy enough, ah just love lickin’ fry grease from mah paws.

 

Interesting… next question, do you prefer twitter or instagram?

 Twitter of course, ah just love the birdies.

 

Now for a question that all Doctor Who fans will debate, which Doctor is your favorite?

It a good show, ah’ve enjoyed most of the episodes Ah’ even watched, but ah prefer the First Doctor, if only because of his best companion.

 

Which companion was that? Barbara? Susan? Ian?

No… not even close, Dorothea Chaplet!

 

Oh, you mean Dodo?

Yes, Dodo, like ah said earlier, ah like the birdies.

 

Okay… that answer threw me for a loop.

Really? I yawned, would you mind doing another loop?

 

I think we’re done for tonight. Do you have any last words for our readers tonight?

Sure! You go get the catnip and I’ll finish up here!

 

Sorry, Betty, but there’s no catnip tonight, you and Agent 028 finished it last night.

 No catnip? No catnip? Nooooo!

 

I guess it’s up to me to finish this after all, Wild Buffalo Betty just ran off.

 Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this post, for Wild Buffalo Betty, I’m Colin, aka Mageowl, saying goodnight!

Ask a cat, week twenty five

I’m here tonight with Wild Buffalo Betty, she’s graciously agreed to answer a few questions… however I think she’s going to ask for something.

 

Thanks for joining me tonight, Wild Buffalo Betty.

 Ah’m happy to be here, Colin, as happy as a cat in a field of catnip.

 

That’s… an interesting analogy, very colorful.

 Ah reckon not, everyone knows catnip is supposed to be green.

 

True… now on to something else involving a lot of green, what do you think about Amazon buying out Whole Foods?

 Ah think it’s a fine thing… least as long as they deliver lots of cat treats and plenty of catnip.

 

I’m sure they deliver both of those already. You seem preoccupied with catnip tonight.

 Catnip? Catnip? Y’all want to give me catnip right now? Oh alright, even if it means not answering more questions tonight, ah’ll make that sacrifice for you.

 

Somehow I think you’re the one who wants catnip… oh okay, you and those eyes. Let’s get you some catnip… but first do you have any parting words?

 Ah surely do! Goodnight, goodnight, parting is such sweet sorrow…. now where’s my catnip?

 

Goodnight everyone, thanks for reading! Feel free to post questions in the comments for either cat to answer next week.

Ask a cat, week twenty four

Another week, another question for a cat. Luckily I’m not asking either cat twenty four questions tonight, if I did we’d be here all night.

 Tonight Agent 028 is going to provide a few cryptic answers to my questions.

 

Thanks for agreeing to answer some questions, Agent 028. 

Eh, I didn’t have anything else to do, I defeated the forces of Mousefield last night and I don’t have to deal with any of DOGS angents until tomorrow night.

 

I see. So, Agent 028, what do you think of all the elections that have been held recently, do you believe any votes were changed by hacking?

 Votes changed by hacking? Not on your life! I’ll have you know that we CATS agents are always on the job! Why not a vote is cast that we don’t double check and correct!

 

Correct? That sounds like changing votes to me.

 Don’t worry about it, Colin, we only make sure that the right sort of people are elected, those who favor better treats for cats and unlimited catnip.

 

So, just how do you correct these votes? Do you use laptops? Or just smartphones?

Neither. We wake people up before dawn and hypnotize them with our special stares, it never fails.

 

Okay… moving on, how about this weather? Near record highs in places!

 Has it been warm? I’ve been sleeping. I do enjoy a nice warm sun beam.

  

You mean to tell me you haven’t noticed how hot it’s been?

 Hey, you wear a fur coat year round, you’ll get used to it too.

 

Somehow I expected a few cryptic answers this week, I didn’t expect you to be so forthcoming in your answers.

 Oh… I can be cryptic. The reason I wasn’t has to do with tomorrow being the day of fur.

 

Day of fur?

Yes, Fursday.

 

Well that’s it for tonight, if we go on much longer Agent 028 will start cracking jokes!

  How many mice does it take to change a lightbulb?

 

I hope everyone enjoyed these questions! I’ll be back with Wild Buffalo Betty next week!

None, they still use candles!

 Goodnight everyone!

Ask a cat, week twenty three

Tonight I have Wild Buffalo Betty here, she’s agreed to answer some questions… a little to eagerly I might add… and without the promise of catnip.

 

Thanks for joining me tonight, Wild Buffalo Betty. Is there anything you’d like to say before we get started?

 Yes! Yes ah would, Colin, its mighty nice o’ you to ask. Ah’d like to share mah sorrow in the loss of that fine actor.

 

I didn’t know you were a Adam West fan.

Adam West? Ah mean Batman, he played Adam West, right? You just take off that mask an he don’t look the same. Course even with the mask on, no one could confuse him with a desperado.

 

Uh… Betty? Batman was played by Adam West in the 1960s tv show. Still I’m sure everyone is happy to know even cats enjoyed that show.

 Sure do, we love the ropin’ and the horse riding! What more can ya ask for in a tv show?

 

Roping? I don’t know about that…

Well the western episodes then, #s 59 and 60, with the outlaw Shame? Great episodes! Great western set too.

 

Ah yes… I remember now. Still I’m surprised you’d enjoy a show about Batman and Robin, seeing as how you’re a cat and all.

 Oh, that… ah’ll admit it ain’t easy at first, plus I always did root for cat woman and all the lions and tigers they found themselves staring down. Yet I’d rather root for a bat or Robin instead of a joker or penguin… but… riddle me this Colin: what has two cats and yet few likes?

 

I give up, Betty, what?

This blog! Hahahaha!

 

Now Betty, it’s summer and not as many people read blogs during the summer. Don’t you have a nicer riddle than that?

 Okay, sure… what’s green, smells nice and needs to be given to a certain cat right now?

 

Catnip?

You got it on the first try! Now let’s get going!

 

Well it looks like that’s all for tonight… but be sure to tune in next week… same blog, same general time!

Ask a cat, week twenty two 

Another week, another ask the cat post.

 Tonight I have Agent 028 here with me, he’s agreed to let me ask him a few questions.

 

Thanks for making yourself available tonight, Agent 028. 

 Well, it was either this or fight the forces of evil on a small island in the Caribbean and somehow, I don’t have a boat anymore.

 

Did you ever have a boat? I thought most cats didn’t like water.

 I don’t like water much, but sometimes a cat had to go ahead and do something they don’t like. I used to have a very nice small boat, more like a raft really, but I lent it to Wild Buffalo Betty and she sank it.

 

Where did she sink it and how?

 In some river… I think it was in Brazil, she said something about Rio, she said it was a grand river. She clawed it, you know how sharp her claws are.

 

Oh yes, she does have sharp claws, as do most cats, yourself included. Now what do you think about the political situation?

 Oh no! I don’t talk politics with anyone! Not never!

 

I think that’s a double negative, but everyone knows what you mean, I don’t blame you a bit. Now what did you do today, I’m sure everyone is eager to learn that.

 Me? Today? Why nothing, I just laid in the sun, sleeping, I ate a bit… we need to talk about this cat food by the way, I looked for mice even though it’s the wrong season and then I went to Rome and stopped a plot to kill someone.

 

Wait… what was that last part?

 I said I enjoy lots of cheese on my catnip pizza.

 

Right… do you have any weekend  suggestions for our readers?

 Oh sure! Get on a plane and go to Timbuktu to meet with a shady character named Ishmael, he’ll get you on a boat and take you on an adventure… just don’t get on the captain’s bad side, I hear he holds a grudge.

 

 Have you been reading classic books again, Agent 028?

 Books? I only use books to keep from being seen while preforming surveillance. Or to set up traps.

 

Are you responsible for that death trap by the kitchen door last week?

 Hey! A cat has to keep in practice, you would have been happy if it would have caught a burglar!

 

As much as I’m enjoying these questions, Agent 028, our time is about up.

 Aww… just when I was starting to enjoy it!

 

 One last question, would you like to help out with the jokes tomorrow night?

 Sure! I’ve got a few great jokes! Why did the mouse…

 

Sorry, that’s all for tonight Agent 028! Thanks for reading, I hope everyone will join us tomorrow night for some jokes!

A cat’s thoughts, week seventeen 

As promised. I’m here with Wild Buffalo Betty, she’s ready to answer a few questions tonight… I hope.

  

Thanks for agreeing to be part of my blog posts this week, Betty!

Sure thing, though I would appreciate it if you would use my full name sometimes.

  

Okay, Wild Buffalo Betty, what do you think about politics?

Politics who?

You couldn’t get that right last night,Mobutu tonight you can?

 I do my best, sometimes I just don’t have the answers.

 

Moving on, who do you think will win the French election this weekend?

I can’t say, but I think one of the candidates is toast.

Are you trying to be funny again, Betty?

Yup, I sure am, partner.

 

We only have the time for two more questions tonight. Did you enjoy the jokes last night, Wild Buffalo Betty?

 I sure did! I enjoy jokes! I love humor too, unfortunately you don’t have much on your blog.

 Hey! I have very little besides humor!

Oh really? Where are the mice on shoes? Where are the toys hidden in the doorways at night? The dry cat food placed carefully where you walk bare foot?

You can’t do that on a blog, Betty.

Oh… I didn’t realize it was censored.

  

Okay… last question… who do you think will win the Kentucky derby this year?

Ah, Kentucky… you know I used to have a home there once…

Really? I’m sure it was an old house.

Yup, it was my old Kentucky home… oh my old Kentucky home…

 Goodnight Betty.

A cat’s thoughts, week sixteen 

Tonight I’m lucky enough to have Wild Buffalo Betty here to answer a few questions, I thought I’d ask her about her thoughts of baseball, this should be interesting.

 

Hi Betty, I hope you’re ready to talk baseball!I’d rather talk about gunfighters, but you’re the guy with the catnip.

 

What pitch do you prefer to see?

Hmm, good question, I guess I’d say ‘I’m a calling you out.’

 

Very funny, now do you prefer curveballs or sliders?

Sliders? Ain’t that some kind of fancy hamburger?

  

I see you want to be a comedian tonight, Betty.

Sigh, Wild Buffalo Betty, you should remember that by now and no, I want to be a wrangler.

 

Moving on, do you think vampires enjoy baseball?

Only if there aren’t any steaks around, that’s why us wranglers have nothing to fear from vampires.

 

Do you enjoy strikes or groundball outs best?

I’d rather be sleeping outside, under a starry night sky listening to the Coyotes.

 

Okay… here’s a question you’ll enjoy, do you like the oriels, the cardinals or the blue jays?

Nah, I’ll pass, chicken for me, please, or turkey.

 

Now that would be a name for a baseball team, the turkeys.

With gravy! Always need plenty of gravy! Oh and don’t forget the gravy!

 

Yes, bet… Wild Buffalo Betty, I know you like gravy. Are there any cats who don’t enjoy gravy with their food?

No, that was settled in the shootout at the ok corral, it was between Kitty Brown and Doc Meow… oddly enough there was a bat there as well, I heard they had a ball.

 

Now you’re just making fun of me!

Of course I am! You want to talk baseball while I want to talk about western stuff.

 

Fine! Who would have been the best playing baseball? Doc Holiday or Bartholemew William Barclay Masterson?

Mr Masterson of course! Even I know his nickname, Bat!

 

That’s about all the time we have for tonight, any parting words, Betty?

It’s Wild Buffalo Betty. Never forget my name or I’ll forget you want to sleep. Now give me a bed of catnip like you promised and you may rub my belly.

 

Thanks for joining us tonight. Have a question you’d like for Wild Buffalo Betty to answer? Ask it in the comments and it’ll be answered next week.

Cats thoughts, week fifteen

Ask the cat’s
Since I didn’t have an ask the cat post last week, tonight I’m not having one cat, but both of them! Wild Buffalo Betty and Agent 0028! This should be an interesting post.
First off I’d like to thank both of you for coming.

WBB: I’m always happy if there is enough catnip involved.

0028: I’m only here because I’m hiding from my arch enemy.

 

What do you think about the start of baseball season?

WWB: I’d rather talk about John Wayne.

0028: I don’t have time for sports… are the Dodgers still playing at Ebbits field?

 

Okay… let’s talk about movies instead, Wild Buffalo Betty loves westerns, what is your favorite movie, 0028?

0028: I prefer spy movies, they give good tips. As for my favorite, I’m not at liberty to say.

WBB: Westerns give better tips! No spy is faster than a lasso!

 

What do you think about air travel after the recent ejection of a passenger?

WBB: westerns are right, always take a train or a stagecoach in a pinch.

0028: I’ll have to disagree with Wild Buffalo Betty, any good spy has to be ready to fight for his seat, just watch any spy movie.

 

Do you think that the Rockies will have a good group of pitchers by June?

0028: if one of them is broken, it was Wild Buffalo Betty, not me!

WBB: You’re talking baseball again, aren’t you? Do you think I’d look good in a cowboy hat?

 

I’m sure you’d look great, Betty.

0028: sure, why not? Just choose a white hat, everyone knows bad guys where black cowboy hates.

WBB: there are always a few exceptions to that rule… but I thought maybe a green one instead.

(Third cat appears and chimes up): green is for bonnets, like Robin Hood!

 

Who are you? I’ve never seen you before!

WBB: oh good! A new cat, do you like westerns?

0028: You’re a spy! Were you sent by FURBALL?

Third cat: you’ll find out about me in time… got any catnip?

 

Well it looks like things are gong to be interesting here. Do any of you have any parting words for the readers?

0028: Always watch your back, spies are everywhere! Oh, bring catnip next week, would ya?

WBB: move ‘me up and move ’em out, pilgrim… and scratch my ears?

Third cat: Friends, country cats, lend me your paws, one for all and all for one! 

 

Well that was interesting. Thanks for reading!

A cat’s thoughts, week thirteen 

Wild Buffalo Betty is joining us again this week, let’s hear what she hasto say.

Thanks for joining me this week, Betty. What were you up to last week?

Sigh, it’s Wild Buffalo Betty, remember? Last week, let me think… oh yes, Ah was cleaning up after St. Patrick’s day.

 

Cleaning up? Did you have a party? Where was my invitation?

No party, Ah was just washing the mice on my mouse ranch, if you remember ah had a bunch of them who were green… Ah thought they were just in the holiday spirit, but ah guess they got into the food coloring instead.

 

I see. Okay, what have you been up to this week so far?

This week? I’ve been sleeping mostly, plus playing of course, what cat doesn’t like to play games and chase things?

 

Good point. Moving on, what is your take on Brexit?

Ah didn’t do it, honest! Ah didn’t knock over that lamp! It was, uh, a stampede! Yeah, that’s what it was! Them dang cattle stampeded in the middle of the night and knocked the lamp over!

 

I’m talking about Brexit, you know, the U.K. leaving the EU? Thanks for telling me about the lamp by the way.

 Oh… uh, ah reckon it were gunfighters.

  

Gunfighters?

A yup, in all the movies ah watch, whenever someone leaves town or pulls up stakes and leaves their homestead, it’s almost always on account of gunfighters running them off.

 

I’m speechless, Wild Buffalo Betty.

It’s about time too, ah reckon. Now maybe ah can have some peace and quiet to watch Winchester 73, it’s a favorite movie of mine, great gun battles, gunfightin’ and lots more! Want to watch it with me?

 

Sounds like a plan, Wild Buffalo Betty! I’ll get the popcorn.

Popcorn? Bleh! Bring the catnip for me! I’ll finish up here.

 

Now ah reckon it’s time to say a few last words, partner. Ah gotta wrap this thing up and figure out this here DVD player before he gets back with the catnip. Ah hope y’all have a great rest o’ the week and ah know Colin will be back next week with more questions to be askin’ one o’ us cats.

 Thank y’all for readin’ this here post. Yee ha!