Ask a human, week four

Agent 028 here, I’m about to question the human known as Colin, a.k.a. Mageowl, he’s been good at evading questions before, tonight I hope to trick him…

 

Colin, where were you ten hours from now?

 Huh? You mean where was I? Or where will I be?

 

Just answer the question!

How can I answer it if you won’t tell me just what you are asking?’

 

Very well… I see I’ll have to get rough with you!’

 Hey! Get your tail out of my face!

 

Now maybe you’ll tell me just why you were trying to sleep last night when I wanted my ear scratched?

 Because it was the middle of the night?

 

A ha! So you admit it! You admit to sleeping at night?

 Sure, nearly everyone does, you do too, Agent 028.

 

That doesn’t matter, I’m better than anyone else… dang it, here comes Wild Buffalo Betty! I’ve got to run!

 Huh? Why do you alway run away when she comes around?

 

Hi y’all, Hi colin. Agent 028 left? That’s probably because he owes me a mouse.

He owes you a mouse? Did he go rustling on your mouse ranch?

 

Ah thought it was ask a human day, not ask a cat night!

 You’re right, go ahead and ask me a question.

 

Am ah a pretty kitty? Aren’t ah cute? Don’t ya want to give me some catnip?

 Sigh, I know the real reason you came, Wild Buffalo Betty, you want catnip. Oh alright, let’s get you some catnip. Too bad Agent 028 left, he could have finished this post, I’ll have to come back later…

 

———————

 Agent 028 here, my plot worked perfectly, I now know the secret location where the catnip is hidden. Wild Buffalo Betty played her part purrfectly, Tomorrow night, Operation Catnip Plunder goes into effect.

 Agent 028 over and out.

Ask a human, week three

Hi y’all, Ah’m Wild Buffalo Betty, it’s my turn to ask Colin some questions this week…  ah cant wait to hear his answers!

 

Hi Collin, Ah’m glad ya could join me to answer a few questions, are ya ready? 

I’m ready, Betty! I can’t wait to hear the questions you have for me!

 

Ah’m glad to hear that, Colin, for Ah reckon Ah’ve got a few good ones that might stump ya tonight!

 Stump me? This isn’t a game!

 

First. Question: What is the sum total of wild mice in the house?

None, you’ve domesticated them, haven’t you?

 

Correct1 Next question, this one is worth ten belly rubs! How many cattle would a cat rustle if a cat could rustle cows?

 None, cats are too smart, you’d get me to do it somehow.

 

Correct! You may now pet my belly… or you can risk everything and answer another question!

 I guess I’ll risk it, what’s your next question?

 

Where is the catnip?

The catnip is put away where you will never find it, Wild Buffalo Betty! You can have some once we’re done.

 

Sorry! That answer is incorrect! Ah have the catnip right here!

 What? how.. you couldn’t have…it was in a closed drawer!

 

Better luck next time, Colin! Thanks for playing our game tonight! Ah’m sure everyone was rootin’ for ya!

Goodnight everyone, Ah’m Wild Buffalo Betty saying move ’em out!

Ask a human, week two

Greetings, I’m 028, Agent 028. Tonight it’s Colin’s turn to answer some questions, revenge can be sweet sometimes, bwhaa ha ha… er, I mean purr!

 

Thanks for joining me tonight, Colin, are you ready to answer some questions?

 I’m ready! Thanks for having me… though this is odd, I’m normally the one doing the asking.

 

First question… where were you on the night of the 23rd?

Of which month? And why do you want to know?

 

May?

 May what? Are you wanting catnip already? We have barely begun the questions!

 

I’ll take catnip, I guess… wait! I want to know where you were on May 23rd!

 Oh, that kind of May. I guess I was probably either working on my blog or scratching your ear.

 

 Ah ha! So you admit to stealing the secrets?

 What? What secrets?

 

You’ll never win, I’ll stop you yet! No! Not my ear…. curse you, you know the one weakness I have, an ear scratch and a double helping of catnip!

  

Well, it looks like Agent 028 doesn’t have any more questions for me, I’m sure Wild Buffalo Betty will have plenty of questions for me again next week.

Ask a human, week one

It’s Wild Buffalo Betty here, I’ve finally convinced Colin that it’s only fair that he answer questions every week too. Without further ado, let’s get asking!

 

Thanks for agreeing to answer a few questions this week, Colin.

 My pleasure… plus you wouldn’t let me get any sleep if I didn’t agree.

 

I’m sure everyone would like to know what your favorite movie is.

I like lots of movies, Operation Petticoat, Singing in the Rain, Forbidden Planet and lots more.

 

Forbidden planet? Is that anything like that room you said I can’t go in that I still sneak into?

Not exactly, but that’s close enough. It has a robot, monsters of the id and a spaceship, everything a great movie needs!

 

Does it have gun fighters? Cattle rustling? Shootouts in a corral?

No, but it does have a monster and ray guns.

 

What about Singing in the rain? I take it that’s a horror movie? Humans singing a rain, I can’t imagine anything more frightening.

Not at all! It’s a comedy! With music and dancing! It includes a scene where Gene Kelly dances in the rain while singing too! It’s a classic!

 

Right, a classic horror movie like Frankenstein or the wolf man. Now tell us something about this Operation Petticoat? It’s about knitting I assume?

No! It’s a comedy war movie! It’s about a submarine that gets sunk, is raised, patched back together and then heads off to get fully repaired, on the way they have several adventures and end up painting the sub pink.

 

No knitting? No yarn? No shootouts? What’s the point?

It’s just a fun movie.

 

Well I think that’s about all the time we have tonight, Colin, would you like to say a few parting words?

Yes I would… whether ’tis nobler to suffer in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune…

What are you talking about? Have you gone crazy? Or crazier than normal?

Hush! I’m doing a Scene from Hamlet!

Mmmm! Ham! Let’s go eat! Goodnight everyone!