Jokes for April 6th

It’s Thursday night again, but much more importantly is the fact that it’s the first week of baseball season! Enjoy these baseball jokes.

 

————————————————-

 

Why was the golfer banned from being a ball boy?

Because he kept getting a hole in one.

  

Why did the chef quit the team?

He couldn’t cut the mustard.

 

Why did the baseball team sign a knitter?

They needed a more good mitts.

 

Why did the baseball manager hire the lemonade as a scout?

Because it had found a good pitcher.

 

Was the vampire hunter bet concerned about the baseball season opener?

Of course, he had quite a stake in it.

  

Why did the frog watch the baseball game?

He had always dreamed of being a catcher.

 

———————————————-

 

I hope you enjoyed these jokes. Thanks for reading!

Humor for April 27th

Believe it or not, it’s Wednesday night again, which means it’s time for some humor!

 I have a few jokes, puns and general bits of humor for you tonight, I hope you enjoy!

 

———————————————–

 
Why did the flower grower take up shipbuilding in April?

Because he needed a few Mayflowers.

 

 

What did the inspector say when the box of eggs was pushed off a table?

That they were knocked off.

 

 

When a ghost starts to drink, you might say that the spirit was in good spirits.

  

 

The soufflé chef couldn’t make the baseball team as manager because he couldn’t get the batter up.

 

 An artist who specialized in carving marble statues was hired to carve a statue out of cheese, he worked diligently on it. His employer checked in to see how the statue was coming, the artist just said “So far so Gouda.”

 

————————————————-

 

I hope you enjoyed the humor tonight. Thanks for reading!

Baseball jokes for April 6th

Baseball season started this week, so I thought I’d present you with a few baseball jokes tonight. I hope you enjoy them!

 

————————————

 

How did the rookie become the fans favorite player on the team?

He was a hit.

 

Did the baseball player enjoy his career?

He had a ball.

 

How important was the home opener?

It was key.

  

Why do baseball pitchers make excellent bowlers?

Because they know how to throw strikes.

 

Why was the baseball team of vampires the best in the league? 

Because they suck the life out of other team!

 

Why was a strangler the best player playing against vampires? 

Because he choked up on the bats!

 

Why was a zombie baseball team always the worst of league? 

Because they’re always looking for new brains.

 

——————————–

 

 I hope these jokes gave you a chuckle.

Thanks for reading, now play ball!

Humor for February 17th

It’s another Wednesday night, which means it’s time for a few jokes. Spring training is starting this week, so I decided to offer you a some baseball jokes, a few new ones and a few from last year, enjoy!

 

——————————-

 

Why did the venture capitalist buy a baseball team?

He loved great pitches.

 

Why did the inventor try out for the baseball team?

He had a great pitch.

 

Why wasn’t the carafe able to become a pitcher for a baseball team?

It had lost its glasses.

 

When the mechanical pencil tried out for the baseball team, it got the lead out.

 

Why did the ball player put coils of metal on his shoes?

Because it was spring training.

 

Why did the burglar try out for the baseball team?

Because he was good at stealing home.

 

Why did the baseball team sign a vampire?

 Because they need a good bat.

 

—————————————

 

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed these jokes!

Jokes for October 7th

Three things have converged tonight:

  1. It’s Wednesday night, joke night.
  2. It’s October, time for spooky stuff.
  3. Baseball playoffs are in full swing.

Just what does this mean you might wonder, it means that at least for tonight, I’ve got jokes that feature baseball and monsters of one kind or another. I hope you enjoy!

———————-

Why do catchers hate pitchers who are vampires?
They drive the catcher batty.

Why was the baseball team of vampires the best in the league?
Because they suck the life out of other team!

Why was a strangler the best player playing against vampires?
Because he choked up on the bats!

Why was a zombie baseball team always the worst of league? 
Because they’re always looking for new brains.

Why did the zombie pitcher get cut from the team?
He had no arm.

A werewolf was looking forward to attending a baseball game, he had won a ticket that included a chance to get a picture taken with the stars of the team, unfortunately for the werewolf he tripped and fell against the mascot, which was an old star with a bat, just as the moon rose. The headline said it all ‘Silver slugger knocks out wolf.’

What do baseballs fear the most?
Bats!

Why was the baseball team of spirits not expected to win?
They didn’t have a ghost of a chance.

Why was the werewolf chimney cleaner named the manager of the baseball team?
He knew something about sweeping.

Why did the general manager consult a coven of witches to turn about the team?
They needed to win for a spell.

Why were the politicians unable to set the lineup for their charity baseball game?
Because they kept debating about who was going to be the star.

———————

I hope you enjoyed these jokes tonight.

Thanks for reading! 

Jokes for July 15th

Some how it’s Wednesday night again, I thought I’d have some good jokes for you tonight, but life happened and I ran out of time. All is not lost, however, I have plenty of jokes to fall back on, all I ask is that you try to enjoy this hit jokes and not call them foul. Please enjoy these baseball jokes in honor of the MLB All Star game last night.

—————————

Why was the baseball team of vampires the best in the league?
Because they suck the life out of other team!

Why was a strangler the best player playing against vampires?
Because he choked up on the bats!

Why was a zombie baseball team always the worst of league?
Because they’re always looking for new brains.

How did the carafe make the baseball team?
it was a pitcher.

What do baseballs fear the most?
Bats!

Why is baseball like boxing?
There are lots of hits.

In what career do you get paid to be a thief?
Baseball, the players are always stealing

Why did the omelet refuse to pitch at a certain ballpark?
The fans were always egging him on. 

Why do pack rats make excellent pinch runners?
They are always stealing. 

Why did the venture capitalist buy a baseball team?
He loved great pitches.

Why did the inventor try out for the baseball team?
He had a great pitch.

Why wasn’t the carafe able to become a pitcher for a baseball team?
It had lost its glasses.

The soufflé chef couldn’t make the baseball team as manager because he couldn’t get the batter up.

Why did the cookie baker try out for the baseball team?
He had a great cutter.

When the baseball player went to Los Vegas, he won big at cards, he had an ace on his side.

——————

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed these joke.

Jokes for April 8th

Baseball season has started, so I’m presenting you with enough baseball jokes to field a team with!

———————————

Whys:

Why do catchers hate pitchers who are vampires?
They drive the catcher batty.

Why do matches make terrible batters?
They always strike out.

Why do chefs make the best baseball managers?
They are great with batters.

Why did the baseball team hire a jeweler to mow the field?
They wanted someone who knew about diamonds.

Why did the clock make the baseball team?
Because he had spring in his gait.

Why did the cookie baker try out for the baseball team?
He had a great cutter.

What’s:

What kind of pitch do electricians prefer to throw?
Ground balls.

More humor:

The clock made the baseball team because he had spring in his step.
When the baseball player went to Los Vegas, he won big at cards, he had an ace on his side.
When the mechanical pencil tried out grow the baseball team, it got the lead out.
The  soufflé chef couldn’t make the baseball team as manager because he couldn’t get the batter up.
——————————–
These might not be the best jokes, but they are baseball jokes.

Jokes for Wednesday February 18th

It’s Wednesday night again and do I have some jokes for you!
As baseball’s spring training begins tomorrow, I have a few new baseball jokes for you tonight as well.

Baseball

When the mechanical pencil tried out grow the baseball team, it got the lead out.

Why did the venture capitalist buy a baseball team?
He loved great pitches.

Why did the inventor try out for the baseball team?
He had a great pitch.

Why wasn’t the carafe able to become a pitcher for a baseball team?
It had lost its glasses.

Jokes

When a cellphone company decided to expand into major markets, they chose a name for it reminiscent of an existing cellphone. Unfortunately for them, the name didn’t translate right, In English it became the ‘phone eye’

Annoyed with constantly dropping his pepper grinder, an inventor created a pepper grinder that would float in the air. He became a millionaire with his mill on air.

Others

When a shoe store ended up filled with snow, they had a snowshoe sale.

Why did the boxer take his laundry to the ring?
Because he kept getting socked.

I hope you enjoyed these jokes tonight, I know I enjoyed coming up with them.
Thanks for reading!

Jokes for May 7th

Tonight I’ve got a few new jokes, a few old jokes, and a reworked joke.
I hope you enjoy these jokes, let’s play ball!

What do baseballs fear the most?
Bats!

Why is baseball like boxing?
There are lots of hitting going on.

In what career do you get paid to be a thief?
Baseball, the players are always stealing.

Once there was a boy who stole his mothers dishes, one day he was unexpectedly offered a contract with a baseball team. In response to inquires, the team revealed that they were impressed with his ability to steal plates at home.

Why was the florets a world class baker?
She knew her flours.

A man walked into a truck stop and ordered a hamburger, ad an after thought he added “Hold the pickle.”
A few moments later, Harry, the truck stop’s harried short order chef whose was very hairy, came marching out on the kitchen and thrust a dripping cucumber into the man’s hand, saying “Hold your own pickle!”

A city slicker was visiting a farm, he asked the farmer how things were growing,the farmer said everything was. Coming up roses. The city slicker congratulated the farm, to which the farmer said “Thing is, I planted radishes.”

Did you hear about the accident at the candy factory that was run entirely by fruits?
The apples were plums were candied and the strawberries were covered in chocolate.

I never promised good jokes, maybe next week.
Thanks for reading!