My blog: 2014 in review

It’s the end of 2014 and WordPress has been nice enough to create a report on my blog. The most important points are as follows:

My best day in views this past year was December 24th with 33 views. The most popular post that day was How to ruin any food: Yule log cake (bûche de Noël). This just confirms that people like my series of ruining food.

I posted a new post everyday between July 1st and July 13th, how that happened I can’t remember, will it happen again? I can’t say.

I’ve posted every Saturday night (though WordPress is based out of another time zone and says I blogged every Sunday instead).

 The best viewed post of the year was my post on how to Ruin Mashed potatoes, followed by my 400th post and If Shakespeare was a Cat.
Last but now least, my blog has been read around the world, from Russia to Brazil, South Africa to Australia, the U.K. to India and several other countries, I’m only hoping that this next year I’ll attract even more readers from even more countries.
 I want to thank you for reading my blog.

It was one year ago today…

It was one year ago today (April 17th) that I started this blog.
It’s been an interesting year, I’ve learned a lot about blogging, but I’ve also realized that I have a lot more to learn.
I’ve changed my blog quite a hit since I started it, I drifted around trying to figure out what would get more likes and comments for several months, I finally discovered that humor was liked more than not, but I’ve yet to discover how to get comments consistently.
When I first started out it was hard to decide what to blog about on a given day, but during the past few months I’ve started setting aside certain days of the week for certain post, Wednesdays are joke days, Friday is the day I rewrite classic movies in the fashion of today’s Hollywood, Saturdays I do humorous howtos…
While I’m set with those days right now, how knows where I’ll be in another year, maybe I’ll have another day or two set like that, or maybe I’ll be doing something completely different every day of the week, maybe I won’t bother with jokes, all I know is that I’ll still be blogging… Unless my NSA jokes annoy someone.
I do have a few goals for my second year of blogging, I’m planning on growing my readers somehow, I’m also hoping to start getting more comments.
Perhaps in another year I’ll have enough views on my posts to brag about, it’ll be fun trying.
I thank you, those of you who read and like my posts, it’s due to you that I’ve continued this long, I hope you’ll enjoy my posts over the next year.
I’m planning on making some updates and changes to my blog over the coming weeks, I welcome your comments.

Thanks again for read this and all my posts.

My 200th post!

This is my 200th post on my blog.
I wish I had something interesting to write about 200, but I don’t, it’s just another post for all intents.
If I had thought about this post in advance, I could have 200 jokes, or 200 movies to watch, but I didn’t, those will have to wait until my 300th post.
I only have one thing I can mention, my last 199 posts plus this one are the best on my blog, I heartily suggest that you read each one 200 times… Unless you’ve got something better to do, in which case just read them once.
In all seriousness, I want to thank all of my readers or reading my blog and I hope to write a better post for my 300th post.

Thanks again for evading my blog.

I haven’t blogged lately…

I haven’t been blogging lately as I’ve been under the weather… Though if you think about it, unless you’re flying in a plane you’ll always be technically ‘under the weather’.
Perhaps I should say that I’ve had a bug, it means nearly the something, plus I get the added benefit of claiming to know a bug more completely than any entomologist could.

I’m hoping to get back to my normal blogging schedule, more or less, within the next few days. I’m not going to ignore my blog anymore than I’ve had, but I’m not quite sure if it’s too late to blog about my goals for the year.

Thanks for sticking with me, I’m going to do my best to make it worth your patience.
What do you think, is it too late for a beginning of the year post? I’m interested in your thoughts!

A look back…

This was the first year I’ve really blogged, I tried it once a few years ago, I didn’t even last a month, so I try to ignore that.

I started this blog back in April, I wasn’t sure why I did really, but it was something that I wanted to try, everything that I was reading talked about how you needed to have a blog to build your web presence, so I started my blog.

The first few posts I had were strange to me, I wasn’t sure what I was doing and I didn’t feel like reading a dozen articles offering tips, as I knew that none of them would agree with one another.

I played with the layout quite often in those days, I was never quite satisfied with it, but once I settled on one, I’ve stuck with it… even though I sometimes wonder if I should have kept changing it.

April and May were about the same for my blog, a few visitors, a few likes, not many comments. I nearly gave up in June when I only had 12 visitors all month, but July I managed to get more visitors and despite  slight drops in August and November, I’ve been doing better every month since, I still have a few days left this month and I’m hoping to reach 100 visitors.

While my blog is small in the grand scheme of things, I’ve been enjoying it. I’ve posted about my dislike of blogging a few time (I think those posts were among my most liked, oddly enough), but I’ve come to look forward to it, more or less (mostly more, except for the many times I’ve wanted to just post ‘I don’t know what to post about tonight’).

My humorous posts seem to be among my most liked posts, I  noticed that right away and tried to change my posts to include more humor, judging by the likes I’ve been getting, it seems like it’s working. I’ve tried to keep most of my posts  funny, but every now and then I enjoy posting something non-humorous.

Halloween was the best time for my blog, everyone seemed to enjoy my Halloween themed humor and jokes, which I’ve glad of, I enjoyed writing them and I always look forward to being funny.

However, I’ve found myself trying to balance seriousness and humor in some of my posts, I hope it’s working (if not I’d like to know about it, I’ll stick a joke in every post if it helps).

One thing that I’ve been disappointed in is the lack of comments on my blog, I just checked and I’m averaging 8 a month, if I can change that I’d be very happy.

That about sums up this past year of my blog (9 months really, but who’s counting?).

Tomorrow I’ll delve into what I’m hoping to accomplish with my blog, also I’ll throw in a joke or two to keep my readers happy.

Thank you for reading this, I know I enjoyed writing it.

 

Lots of fun coming this next week!

thought I’d take a moment tonight to let you know what I’ve got planned for my blog over the next week. As Halloween is coming up in just over  a week, I thought that I’d take the next week to post my thoughts about Halloween. There will be  humor, interesting ideas, thoughts and rumors.

 

Here’s a joke for you to get you ready for the next week:

 

Why does Dracula enjoy baseball games? Because of the flying bats!

 

I didn’t say it was a good joke, I only hope someone got a chuckle from that.

I hope that all of you readers will enjoy these coming posts, if you have any suggestions for thoughts that you’d like me to mention, just leave a comment.

 

 

This blog is in trouble…

*Feel free to skip to my conspiracy theory at the end if you prefer to read about cats*

This blog is in deep, deep trouble! I’m attracting so few readers that even spammers have stopped commenting! I just checked and I have nothing at all in my spam! While that might seem like a good thing at first glance, I can only assume that some of my latest posts have angered the ‘right’ people (perhaps by hitting too close to the truth?) and that they are blocking my posts from being found.

In my opinion it could be one (or more) of several groups that I’ve joked about:

  1. The NSA
  2. The CIA.
  3. The FBI.
  4. Syria.
  5. Martians.
  6. Venusians.
  7. Jovens.
  8. Hollywood celebrities.
  9. Baseball players.

 

If I am correct, which I’ve afraid that I might be, I have to make a choice: Do I continue on, knowing that few people will see my posts, or do I change course entirely and hope to gain the good graces of the groups that I might have angered?

While I’ll ponder this question for several days before making my final decision, I have one last rumor that I must give you:

 

I believe that a group of people (without any ties to anyone with even a slight control of allowing access to blogs) are working on undermining unimportant knowledge that everyone is all ready in possession of. They are being helped by non-hackers not working for any governmental acronym or agency who also do not have any links to Hollywood, Syria, baseball, banks or anyone else for that matter… they are however controlled by cats sitting on keyboards.

The eventual goal that this group is working towards is not global domination, nor monetary, instead it is to secretly ready our planet for an alien invasion! The aliens that I believe are preparing to invade our world are a living catnip creature shaped like mice, hence the reason cats are helping.

Once these alien catnip mice invade, we’ll be chained to the whim of all cats everywhere, which is part of their diabolical plot, Cats will once again be worshiped like they were in ancient Egypt. We shall in enslaved by cats, forced to spend all day tossing toys around just in case they decide that they want to play, if we don’t obey them, we’ll find ourselves at the mercy of the alien catnip mice.

 

Thanks you for reading this and please, take all precautions in advance, feed your cats the best food and treats you can find, we never know when a bit of a bribe might save us.

Any suggestions for changing my blog?

I keep trying new things with my blog on hopes that something will interest both me and the people who don’t visit my blog.
While I’ve struggled to keep up dating my blog every few days, I keep getting fewer and fewer visitors, I used to think that getting only one or two visitors a day was bad, now I find myself rejoicing when I look at my stats and see that I’ve had a visitor. My blog doesn’t seem to be interesting to anyone besides myself these days, sure, ill occasionally get a like on one of my posts, but I’m lucky to get a single comment a week, more often it seems like I get one comment every two or three weeks.
Now I’m finding it even tougher to get interested in keeping my blog up to date, I can’t even seem to come up with one good idea a week. So I’ve decided to ask anyone who might read this post to tell me what they might want to see me blog about. I’ve not promising that I’ll take those suggestions, but I’d like to hear them anyway.
I don’t really expect anyone to offer any suggestions, mostly because my blog seems to get passed over, I’ll keep on blogging anyway, but I might cut back to just one or two posts a week, or it might just become whenever I feel like it.
So, please tell me what you would like me to change on this blog, I’m open to suggestions (I’ll consider every one really!).
Thanks for reading this and taking the time to comment, if you decide to.

My plan to boost my blog’s viewership

Yesterday I wrote why I hate blogging, tonight I’m explaining my plan to increase the number of visitors my blog gets. I’ve been mulling over this plan of mine for quite some time, I’ve been hoping not to have to change my blog very much, but I now see that I have no choice.

Without further ado, here’s my list of blog improvements:

 

  1.  Every post will include something dealing with a head line.
  2. I will mention a foreign country in every post.
  3. I will find a way to use one or more of the following words in every post: Coup, Terrorist, NSA, CIA, FBI, China, Iraq, Syria, whistle-blower, conspiracy, recall, celebrity, Hollywood, Hockey, Baseball, Football, Beer, WMDs, FREE!
  4. I will write one or more posts a week that make no sense, but they will include every word in #3.

 

I expect that with those few changes, I’ll have a quite popular blog, even if no one expects it. I’m sure I’ll at least draw a few people who are interested in seeing how this works for me.

I may have a few posts that are more inline with what I’ve been blogging, but I’m planning on giving this plan of mine a decent amount of time to start working.

In closing I’ll leave you with this thought: I believe that a Baseball player hailing from Hollywood will turn Whistle Blower about a Conspiracy between the NSA and Syria to launch a Coup against Iraq and start a Beer brewery called Hockey WMDs in China.

 

Why I dislike blogging

I dislike blogging for several reasons:

 

  1.  It’s hard to come up with topics that have interest to other people.
  2. It’s hard to devote enough time to writing my blog.
  3. It’s depressing when no one reads a post you’ve worked hard on.
  4. It’s annoying when you feel like you’re talking to yourself.
  5. Sometimes I fear that I only have the NSA, CIA, FBI and other secret organizations secretly reading this.
  6. Quite often I’m afraid that I’m not even interesting to be spied on by the NSA.
  7. I get so few comments that I’ve begun to believe that I’m connected to some old part of the internet that hasn’t been accessed in over a dozen years… perhaps I should see how I rank on Altavista…
  8. I feel like I should be doing something more worthwhile with the time I spend blogging, such as folding my socks.

 

While I know that part of the reason I dislike blogging is because I don’t get more visitors, I’m also quite aware that it’s my problem to deal with, that’s why I’ve developed a plan to gain more visitors.
More about that tomorrow…